THURSDAY NIGHT SMACKDOWN DECEMBER 2001 WEEK 1
The show opens with some highlights of Monday Night Raw. Some short highlights of Angle and the rest of the WWF celebrating in the ring was shown, before the screen faded black. A clip of Jericho wielding a chair was then show, and then a clip of an angry Big Show, before finally a clip was shown of Austin screwing Foley, and Regal being announced new WWF Commissioner. Regal’s announcement of the re-hiring of the ex-Alliance superstars and the Smackdown handicap match was made, and then the montage ended with Regal and Austin hugging, with the word’s, ‘The party is over’ flashing up in red, blood coloured letters.
Huge pyrographics then went off and Smackdown came live from the Knickerbocker Arena in Albany, New York. Commentary came from Paul Heyman and the debuting former ECW announcer Joey Styles.
Joey: Hello, and welcome to all the WWF fans. What a show we should have for you tonight with The Undertaker and Kane facing off against Booker T, Lance Storm and Rhyno in a match booked by new WWF Commissioner William Regal. And not only that but tonight, going one-on-one will be two men who were fighting on the same team at Survivor Series. Big Show demanded a match against Kurt Angle after he felt Kurt was taking all the plaudits for the WWF victory, and his part had been forgotten.
Paul: Yes all that should be great but let us not forget the main highlight of tonight’s show.
Joey: What’s that, Vince McMahon’s big announcement regarding the world title situation?
Paul: Nope of course not. The big deal surrounding tonight is that, I, Paul Heyman, still have a job in the WWF. You know Joey, I was wondering. Do you think that tonight we will see a special Paul Heyman appreciation night, much like the WWF one we had last Monday.
Joey: Strangely enough, I doubt it. How will we be able to fit it in with all the great matches we have tonight.
‘No Chance’ blasted through the PA and Mr McMahon swaggered to the ring.
Mr McMahon: I have to apologise to all the WWF fans for the way Raw ended on Monday. That damn son-of-a-bitch Stone Cold Steve Austin again screwed over you the WWF fans, and allowed us to have that stupid Limey, William Regal, take the cherished role of WWF Commissioner. He ain’t a proven booker or organiser, hell, he ain’t even that good a wrestler. The only thing he was ever good at was kissing my ass, and when I needed him to kiss my ass the most, he worked his way up to my back, and stabbed me in it. Well, I’ll do what I’ve done my whole life, and make the best of a bad situation. I know it must p*ss off fan worldwide to see all the WCW and ECW superstars back on WWF TV, even after we’ve beaten them once and for all, but you always have to look on the bright side, and at least this time you won’t have to look at that ugly, over-endowed daughter of mine cheering them on all the time. And at least now they will be here as WWF superstars, owned by me, meaning they’ll have to kiss my ass to get anywhere in this business. Anyway, I haven’t come here to waste my time talking about Regal, I know I’ll defeat him in the end, as whatever I want, I can get. I instead have come down to talk about the title situation. Right now we have eight titles, which is too many. So at Vengeance next month, we will have to unify the European and Cruiserweight Titles into simply the European Title. The Hardcore Championship may cause a lot of bloodshed and add to the injury list, but it brings the money in, no matter who fights in it, so I’ll keep that one alive. The main problem is that we have two world champions. You may say it is pointless having two men holding equally prestigious titles, although of cause the name WCW Title takes the value of that belt somewhat, which is why it shall now be known as the World Heavyweight Championship. Now, it may make sense to put the two world champions, Stone Cold and The Rock in a match at Vengeance to be crowned the Undisputed World Heavyweight Champion, but I have a business brain, and I thought of something better than that. After all Wrestlemania is the greatest wrestling event in the world, ‘The Showcase of the Immortals’, so why not crown the first ever Undisputed World Champion then. That’s right, the WWF and World titles would be defended separately for the next four months, until Wrestlemania, where the greatest prize of all would be claimed at the greatest wrestling event of them all, in a Triple Threat Match between the World Champion-the WWF Champion and the winner of the Royal Rumble. (The fans screamed in awe of the idea’s genius) But don’t worry, that’s not all, no way. We still have a huge PPV at the end of this month in the Joe Lewis Arena in Detroit, Vengeance, and I’m not going to put on a second-rate, WCW-style show there, because this the WWF, and therefore both world titles will be on the line. The World Title will be on the line between The Rock and the damn traitor himself, Chris Jericho. But Austin, I hope you can see this right now, because at Vengeance you will defend the WWF Title against the man you have never been able to secure a clean victory over, the two-time WWF Champion, the Olympic Gold Medalist, the WWF superstar of all superstars, Kurt Angle. (The fans were again roaring as Vince announced this, and then the fans started an ‘Angle’ chant)
‘Regal’s Song’ then blasted through the arena and he walked down to the ring, walking into the ring and facing off with Vince
Regal: Wow, once again you have shown your genius Vince. Being a ‘genius’ yourself, I must ask you what you think of my genius last week, when I got one over on you by bringing to the WWF the ex-Alliance superstars, after getting Austin onside and beating a WWF legend in Mick Foley. I have to admit I am rather proud of that win. And that handicap match I made for a bit later, again pure genius. I love being able to say that I am able to outsmart a man of your calibre Vince.
McMahon: I wouldn’t get too cocky Regal, you got the better of me once, but I had Austin on my side once, and that slippery b**tard is just as good at betraying you as he is at loving you, you remember that. And don’t you forget that your contract as Commissioner runs out in June, and you don’t look likely to get an extension to be honest. Anyway seeing, as you are Commissioner for now, you better get used to dealing with the big names, and I’ve got one who wants to speak to you right now.
‘The Rock Says’ hit and The Rock came down to the ring, climbing each turnbuckle in trademark style. Regal tried to sneak out of the ring, but Vince held him back.
Regal: Yes Rock, how can I help you?
Rock: How can you help the Rock, you could help the Rock by crawling back up Stone Cold’s ass and staying there until June. You see, finally The Rock has come back to Albany. And the People’s Champion wanted to greet the new Commissioner face to face, so they could sort out their differences and have a good working relationship.
Regal: Well that would depend on whether or not you would be willing to work with me and Stone Cold. With you two as MY champions, we could control the WWF, and you wouldn’t have to worry about losing your title to Jericho, because I would help you.
The Rock: Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, WHOA! You think that the Great One needs help to beat Chris Jericho. You see The Rock has whopped Y2J’s ass before, and the Rock will do again at Vengeance for the World Title. The day The Rock needs you to help him win a match would be the day Lance Storm is WWF Champion.
Regal: Now you leave Lance out of this, he is a fine athlete, as Kane and Undertaker will find out tonight.
Rock: Well, so long as you know, The Rock is taking your offer very seriously. (He outstretched a hand to which Regal responded, only to get laid out by a Rock Bottom, making Vince smile) Yeah, the Rock is taking you about as seriously as he takes the threat of Jericho taking his title. If ya smell, what The Rock IS cooking.
European Championship Raven v Christian
Mr McMahon made this match on Raw as a way of rewarding Raven for his loyalty to the WWF, in spite of him having a lot of friends in the alliance. The winner of this match up would be facing Billy Kidman, or whomever the Cruiserweight Champion is, at Vengeance, to unite the two titles into just the European Title, which would be competed for by both Cruiserweights and low carders.
Finish:
Raven went for the Evenflow DDT, but Christian kneed him downstairs. Christian went for the Unprettier but got pushed into the ropes and flapjacked. Raven again sized up Christian for the DDT but Rhyno came to the ring and levelled Raven with a steel chair. Raven got the DQ win, but Christian keeps the belt.
Aftermath:
Christian lifted Raven up and allowed Rhyno to gore him, before Christian hit the Unprettier on him. Billy Kidman came down to make the save, hitting a crossbody on Christian, only to get chaired in the face by Rhyno. Rhyno looked set to batter Kidman with the chair, but RVD down and hit a Van Daminator on Rhyno, before Rhyno and Christian scarpered. Christian then grabbed the mic, ‘What the hell are you two goons doing? Don’t you remember a damn thing about loyalty, the Alliance can live on now Regal has power. Don’t be such assclowns. You got a chair in your hand RVD, I think you know what to do’ RVD dropped the chair to the ground, and raised Raven’s hand, before Kidman took off his jumper top, revealing a black shirt underneath with the WWF logo on it. Christian went to the back shouting, ‘You stupid dorks will regret that move.’
Winner: Raven won by DQ, after Rhyno interfered, meaning Christian keeps the European title
Kurt Angle is backstage with Jonathan Coachman, who interviews him about tonight’s match
Coach: Tonight, you go one-on-one with the biggest man in the business. You must be running scared?
Kurt: Now hold on a second there, Coach. Why would I be afraid of Show, I’m not afraid of anyone, let alone a little baby who cries just because he got his ass eliminated at Survivor Series. Surely he should just feel the same way as Kurt and all the fans did and say, ‘Woooo, WWF baby’
Coach: Also, you will get a title shot at Vengeance for the WWF Title against Stone Cold. Don’t you think you’ve had enough already?
Kurt: Enough? Enough? I fought him for the title at Summerslam, and I beat him by DQ, oh its true. Then I beat his ass again at Unforgiven, second time in a row, and I took his world away from him, oh its true. Then I got screwed out of the title by Regal on Raw, and I lost at No Mercy in the Triple Threat without being pinned. Therefore, I can use one of my three I’s, Intelligence, a word you clearly don’t know the meaning of, and tell you that that makes it Stone Cold Steve Austin 2, Kurt Angle 2. I never got a fair one-on-one rematch, but at Vengeance I will, and I will do what everybody in the WWF wants me to do, whoop Stone Cold Steve Austin’s ass once and for all. What?(Austin mimic) I said that stupid hillbilly is gonna lose is strap. Woo!
Paul Heyman: How dare Kurt Angle insult the greatest WWF Champion of all time, the champion who represents this company so well.
Joey Styles: Paul, stop talking out of your ass. I mean how is selling out the WWF fans and trying to put the WWF out of business good representation?
Paul Heyman: Well this debate could go on all night, but we all know that I would end up winning, so why don’t we concentrate on the next match, where Mr Immunity Test will fight Rikishi in his comeback fight.
Joey Styles: Yes, and William Regal has made this a number one contenders match for the Intercontinental Title, with Test wanting to take the title back off Edge, and Rikishi hungry for gold on his return to the WWF.
Intercontinental Title No1 Contenders Match Test v Rikishi
Finish:
Test missed a Big Boot, and Rikishi kicked Test into the corner, and squashed him, setting him up for the Stinkface. Test low-blowed Rikishi to avoid the humiliation, and the ref missed it. Test then went for the Pumphandle Slam, but after a struggle, Rikishi countered for to knock Test down. Rikishi then hit a Samoan Drop, and pulled Test over for the Banzai Drop and the pinfall win.
Aftermath:
Test looked p*ssed off at losing and he punched a cameraman as he left the ring, screaming, ‘What you gonna do about it? You can’t fire me’ Rikishi danced in the ring.
Winner: Rikishi is the No1 Contender, after pinning Test
Joey Styles: Well Paul just told me during that commercial that we will have an exclusive video wall interview with the ex-WCW owner Shane McMahon after this match.
An advert then airs for Vengeance at the end of the month. It shows Chris Jericho nearly costing the WWF the ‘Final Showdown’ and Angle hitting Austin with the belt to win the match for the WWF. There are separate shots with all four superstars, and then a voiceover comes on saying, ‘It was supposed to be the PPV that ended all rivalries, but it caused more destruction than ever. Vengeance: For these four men, the Road to Wrestlemania starts extra early this year’
Faarooq v Bubba Ray Dudley
Before the match, Bubba swore to make Faarooq pay for putting his hands on Stacy, and then it cut to backstage, where Dvon had taken out Bradshaw with a chair.
Finish:
Bubba hit the Bubba Bomb, but Faarooq rolled outside on impact. Faarooq looked to be out on the outside, but Bubba said he would beat him some more, and the tag-champ broke the countout and pulled him back in. Bubba went for a powerbomb, but Faarooq fought out of it and flipped Bubba over. He then set him up for the Dominator, but Dvon walked down the ramp with Jackie in his hands, and Faarooq went to leave the ring to save her, but Bubba grabbed him from behind with a Bubba Bomb, before pinning him for the second week in a row.
Aftermath:
Faarooq tried to go outside and save Jackie, but Dvon threw Jackie at him, knocking them both to the floor. Bubba then told Dvon to get the table, and Dvon hit Faarooq with the wood, busting him open. Dvon slid the table into the ring and Bubba set it up. Dvon tried to lift Jackie, in the ring, but she was resistant. He then hit her with a reverse DDT, before bringing her into the room. Bubba climbed the turnbuckle and Dvon passed Jacquelyn up, and Bubba said, ‘you want to mistreat our woman do you?’ before sending a scared Jackie flying through the wood. She was out like a light, and Bubba grinned sadistically.
Winner: Bubba pinned Faarooq and the Dudleyz annihilated all three members of the APA
Shane McMahon comes up on the video wall and he is set to be interviewed by Paul Heyman
Shane: Hey Paul.
Paul: Whatever. Now Shane, I must ask you, how does it feel to know that you were the reason the alliance got defeated at Survivor Series, due to a combination of poor management and putting yourself into the ‘Final Showdown’? Are you going to apologise to all my fans for the way you put the greatest organisation is wrestling history, ECW, gave it to your sister, and had it destroyed?
Shane: You know Paul, there comes a time in your life when you have to be honest to yourself, and just admit the better man won. I mean, I had a hell of a time trying to defeat the WWF, and we lasted in their for a long time, but at the end of the day the WWF and my dad are the stalwarts of this business, and, no matter how hard you try, they will always come out on top.
Paul: Maybe if you spent as much time kissing my ass, as you are kissing your Dad’s right now, we could have worked together and won. I mean, at the end of the day I was just a member of the Alliance, it was you and Steph that took us to defeat. Everybody knows that the Alliance would have won if you put me in charge, after all I was the one who masterminded the signings of Christian, Test and above all Stone Cold Steve Austin.
Shane: Well if you’re going to take credit for those signings, shouldn’t you be crediting yourself with signing Kurt Angle, after all that’s what cost us everything.
Paul: Hell no, Steph brought in Kurt, not me. Anyway, now that your jobless and lonely, are you going to do the smart thing and just end it all?
Shane: That’s really funny Paul. Just because my Dad pitied you enough to let you keep your job?
Paul: PITY? I believe he actually said he would be chewing his nose off to spite his face if he let me go.
Shane: Whatever?
Paul: Anyway, you’re boring me now, so just tell me what the next step is in the (sarcasm) wonderful life of Shane O’Mac?
Shane: Well, I will meet my pops, apologise, and tell him that I am willing to start right from the bottom, and work my way up, and earn his trust, so that one day, just one day, I might have a chance of taking over those offices in Stamford. And if I ever did, the first thing I will do is what I shouldn’t have done back in July, FIRE YOUR DAMN ASS!
The video wall faded, and Joey mocked Heyman a bit about what Shane said, to which Heyman replied he was the best announcer in the WWF, according to the man who actually is in charge, Mr McMahon
Handicap Match: Kane and The Undertaker v Lance Storm, Rhyno and Booker T
Finish:
Rhyno and Kane were the legal men, and Undertaker and Lance Storm were brawling outside. The ref tried to break up this fight, allowing Booker T to come in and crack Kane, who had Rhyno up for the Choke Slam, in the back of the head with the chair. Rhyno went for a cover, but was shocked to only get 2. Lance Storm was back in his corner, and got tagged in by Rhyno. Storm immediately locked in the Maple Leaf, but Kane made it to the ropes, forcing Storm to break it up. Whilst Kane was up on the ropes, having reached them, Booker T climbed his steel chair on the outside, and whilst now at an even level with Kane, he hit a Scissors Kick, decapacitating Kane’s neck on the ropes and apron. Undertaker went after Booker T on the outside, and Rhyno came in and hit the recovering Kane with a Gore. He then got up again, trying hard to stay in the contest, only for Storm to superkick him dead in the neck to get a huge three count pinfall on Kane.
Aftermath:
Booker T picked up the steel chair, but Undertaker booted him, making him loose his grip on it. Taker then raised him up for a Choke Slam on the outside, only for Rhyno to smash him in the face with a steel chair. Rhyno then rolled him into the ring, and Booker laid the chair on the ground, before scissor kicking Taker onto it. Storm then locked in the Maple Leaf, with the American Bad Ass screaming in agony, and he held it for ages, until some officials came in to break it up.
Winners: Lance Storm, Rhyno and Booker T won with Lance Storm scoring the pinfall over Kane
*Break the Walls Down* hit and Chris Jericho made his way slowly and arrogantly to the ring.
Jericho: I don’t know if you people are too dumb to pick up on this, but you just booed the next World Heavyweight Champion, and the man who at Wrestlemania will become the first ever Undisputed World Champion. The man who will prove once and for all that he is the King of the World. You just showed a huge amount of disrespect to the greatest superstar in the history of this business, and I think you should pay for that, right here, right now. Therefore, you won’t get to see the man who will beat the Rock at Vengeance, in action tonight. But I’m tired of hearing all the assclowns saying that The Rock will win at Vengeance, Y2J can never win the big one. Hello, dumbnuts, I beat the Rock a few months back to take that title. But, I think that the Champion of the Assclowns himself, the Rock, has had enough TV exposure for tonight. Nobody wants to see a man that last Monday night on Raw as too cowardly to fight Y2J alone, he needed his new little ‘friend’ Kurt Angle by his side to ambush the soon to be champ. I am instead here tonight, to issue a challenge. Anyone in the back who is stupid enough to think that they can break the walls down, should tell me about it, and I will see to it that next week on Raw, I will make an example out of them, by beating the holy hell out of them, to make you all realise that you are seeing a champ in action. I don’t care how big they are, how small they are, or how American they are, I will be a fighting champion, and I will produce a performance so huge, that you Rockheads won’t be worthy.
*Never Gonna Stop Me* hits and Edge walks to the ramp to a huge pop, IC title around waist
Y2J: Well, if it isn’t the Intercontinental Champion, Mr King of the Ring, the next great WWF superstar.
Edge: Well if it isn’t the next…person to leave a PPV with the Rock’s boot up their ass.
Y2J: Sorry assclown, you think you can just come out of here and play with the big boys?
Edge: No, I’m not good enough to fight the big boys yet, that’s why I thought I’d find you instead.
Y2J: Wow, you think your jokes are funny. Well there not. The fans here tonight might not like me, (childishly)because I beat The Rock before. But when I’m in the arena they hang on my every word because they know that I am the funniest man the world has ever seen.
Edge: Yeah, you are funny. The stupid pokey hair, the ‘colourful’ choice of clothing, the massive boots to cover up your clownfeet, I can see why you get a laugh.
Y2J: Would you pleeeeeeeease shut the hell up! Why are you here anyway? I asked for an opponent on Raw, you already have a match with Mr Phatu I believe, for your second-rate title.
Edge: Well, at least I can taste gold right now.
Y2J: But you’re holding a title that’s a bit of a joke to be honest. I mean look at the ex-holders: Pat Patterson? The Rock? Chyna?
Edge: Hey, Chris, didn’t Chyna beat you for the title a few years back?
Y2J: Just accept it mate, you’re a tag team wrestler, what makes you think you have the right to challenge a wrestling luminary of my calibre.
Edge: In case you’re forgetting, assclown, I’m the King of the Ring, one of the most prestigious titles you can hold in the WWF. Something you’ve never won.
Y2J: Oh yeah, so you think winning that tournament makes you a superstar, junior? You do realise Viscera won that title once, and Billy Gunn, and they just sit at home munching on their own balls these days.
Edge: Bret Hart, Stone Cold Steve Austin, Kurt Angle, Triple H: they all won the King of the Ring, and they are the best in the business.
Y2J: Alright, you’re on, next week on Smackdown, you v me. Non-title of course, I don’t want to have to hold that piece of crap round my waist do I?
Styles: There you have it folks, next week on Smackdown, to of Canada’s greatest wrestlers today, Chris Jericho and Edge, face each other one on one.
Heyman: I’m not sure about this one. It will prove to be one of the biggest mismatches in wrestling history. Edge hasn’t got a chance.
Styles: Anyway, up now is our main event, with Kurt Angle facing off with a jealous Big Show.
Heyman: Jealous? Jealous of what? Not being a big fat traitor?
Kurt Angle v The Big Show
Big Show looked hungry on his way to the ring, and he didn’t have to wait long before Kurt Angle came out for action to a mega pop
Finish:
Big Show sent Kurt Angle catapulting off the ropes with a Power Slam, and he began to size up for the Showstopper. Angle reacted quickly though, and hit Show with a belly-to-belly suplex. Angle then went for an Angle Slam, but Big Show reversed half way round and hit the Final Cut. He then hit the Sidewalk Slam. He went down for a cover, but Angle somehow countered for the Ankle Lock. Big Show made the rope without tapping. Angle then locked Show in for a German Suplex as he got up, but Big Show elbowed his way out of it. As Angle turned back round, Show locked in the Showstopper. Angle countered in midair for a Tornado DDT. Show then got up and Angle hit the Angle Slam to seal the victory.
Aftermath:
Angle called out Austin, but Regal came running down instead. Angle hit Regal with the belly-to-belly suplex as soon as he entered the ring. He pulled down the straps and locked in the Ankle Lock, with Regal tapping out in agony. Austin then ran down the ramp, and went to hit Angle in the back of the head with the WWF Title. Angle somehow countered and locked in the Ankle Lock on Austin, freeing Regal. Austin was then tapping in agony, with the crowd roaring the roof off the arena. Regal then grabbed the belt and hit Angle in the back of the head. The crowd booed as Regal forced Angle up, with Kurt trying hard to resist, but failed, and then Austin hit the Stunner. Regal locked in the STF, and Angle was hurting, but refused to tap. Austin put the title under Kurt’s head, with Angle still in the hold, and rubbed his forehead into it, whilst screaming, ‘That’s the closest you will ever come, WHAT?, I said that is as close as you will be to having the WWF Title in your grasp.’ Regal and Austin then went up the ramp celebrating, with Joey Style’s screaming, ‘Oh my God, this is sick, they can’t get away with this’
Winner: Kurt Angle won by pinfall
Quick Results:
Raven beat Christian by DQ, meaning Christian keeps the European Title
Rikishi beat Test, to earn an Intercontinental Title shot on Raw
Bubba Ray Dudley pinned Faarooq, and the Dudley Boyz then put Jackie through wood
Lance Storm, Rhyno and Booker T beat The Undertaker and Kane, with Lance Storm pinning Kane
Kurt Angle pinned The Big Show, before being beaten by Regal and Austin
Next week on Monday Night Raw:
Kane v Lance Storm
Intercontinental Title: Edge v Rikishi
Raven, Billy Kidman and RVD v Christian, Test and Rhyno
Kurt Angle and Tajiri w/Torrie v Stone Cold and William Regal
Jeff Hardy w/Lita and Matt Hardy v Booker T
Confirmed for Smackdown on Thursday:
Edge v Chris Jericho
The APA and Jackie v The Dudley Boyz and Stacy
Vengeance-Current Card:
WWF Title: Stone Cold(champ) v Kurt Angle
World Heavyweight Championship: The Rock(champ) v Chris Jericho
European-Cruiserweight Title Unification: Christian(European) v Billy Kidman(Cruiserweight)
Feel free to give me any feedback, I will be very grateful and will rep. I want to know if this layout is OK and readable now, and if the layout, length of matches, promos and commentary is acceptable. I know a major criticism could be that many of the fueds are similar to what happened in real life during this period, but I feel those are the right fueds to kick off with. Thanks a lot.
