July 7, 2005
………………The Lights Go Out………………
…………The Opening Video Plays…………&
BAM!.................. BANG!.................... BOOM!
PYRO! ...........PYRO! ..........PYRO!
Cole: Welcome to Smackdown everybody, Michael Cole alongside Tazz.
Tazz: Hello.
Cole: We are glad to inform you that we have a feast in store for Smackdown.
Tazz: We do? Where? Will there be turkey?
Cole: No Tazz, but we do have a horde of spectacular matches scheduled for tonight. And to kick it off, we have Paul London defending his cruiserweight championship against Spike Dudley.
Tazz: You had my hopes up, oh, well. It sure does look to be a terrific Smackdown. And Cole…
Cole: Yes, Tazz.
Tazz: You wouldn’t happen to know any nearby Chinese restaurant’s number?
Cole: No, Tazz, why?
Tazz: I want to order some take-out to enjoy with this match, but I guess they probably won’t deliver here anyways.
Cole: You’re probably right, but don’t worry Tazz, I’m convinced that this match will deliver spectacularly.
Tazz: I sure hope so.
Cruiserweight Championship
Spike Dudley .vs. Paul London
This match has been similar to a game of dodgeball. Every time London would attempt a high risk move, Spike would evade it, and vice-versa.
After connecting with an implant DDT, London goes up top and vies for a 450 splash, but Spike rolls out of the way just as London pancakes himself on to the ring floor. Both men take time to recover, and Spike is the first man up to his feet. Spike cocks up London to his shoulders and begins to spin. He goes through 5 straight airplane spin rotations before attempting to land a modified ace crusher. London flip flops the move and lands an implant inverted DDT
… 1… 2… kickout.
Tazz: Spike has amazing intestinal fortitude; does he realize he must continue this match now that he has kicked out.
Cole: Look London is climbing up to the top rope again, what does London have in store this time?
Tazz: I’m not sure, but he better maneuver quickly because Spike has gotten back to his feet.
Spike has stood back up and London realizes this but decides to flutter through with his planned moonsault anyways. Spike cowards away hoping to avoid the dive. London is unable to collide with Spike, but by some means is able to land on his feet. Spike props himself back up and goes for a dropkick, but London cartwheels himself away from Spike’s projectile legs. London springsboards off the 2nd rope and flips himself over, striving for another moonsault. Spike crouches down to steer clear of London’s offense, but London lands on his feet for a second time. London clenches onto Spike’s arms and up heaves Spike over with a Dragon Suplex, London clings onto Spike and lifts his own shoulders up while trapping Spike’s legs with a bridging pin
… 1… 2… 3… London has retained his cruiserweight championship.
Cole: What a battle.
Tazz: You’re damn right, London and Spike fought harder than two chickens in a clucking contest.
Cole: Shutup Tazz, that was an amazing match up.
Tazz: Exactly.
/(/(/Commercial Break\)\)\
Carlito’s Cabaña:
“*spit* I spit in the face….”
[(CCC’s theme music plays and in the ring, the Cabana’s set decorates the ring. CCC arrogantly makes his way into the ring with a Carribean looking shirt, while heckling a couple of fans, and acting as if he would spit on them.)]
“Ain’t no Stopping Me”
[(Shelton Benjamin makes his way to the ring as the first of Carlito’s guests in his Cabana…)]
“Just close your eyes”…
[(It seems that there isn’t just one guest on Carlito’s Cabana tonight, but two as the second most recent addition to Smackdown strolls down the aisle towards the Cabana set. He is wearing big funky, goofy-looking sunglasses Click here to see an example of how he looks., and is dressed with his CC hoodie. Carlito is first to notice Christian’s appearance and he points him out.)]
Carlito: Now that’s cool.
………………..………..…………. Christian: Thanks a lot Carlito, but that pom-pom on your head is pretty cool as well.
Carlito: *he ruffles his hair* Yeah, I guess it’s cool. Your hairdo is cool, too.
………………..………..…………. Christian: Yeah it’s cool. But I’m thinking of growing it out like yours soon, any advice?
Carlito: Well…
[(Shelton Benjamin seizes Carlito’s mic before he can continue to talk.)]
Shelton Benjamin: I’m not positive, but when I received the invitation to come to your Cabana Carlito, I didn’t expect to be caught up in feminine like gossip talk. Now where are we going with this…
………………..………..…………. Christian: I don’t know about you Carlito… but that wasn’t cool.
Carlito: Yeah, it wasn’t cool; in fact it was pretty rude if you ask me. Now what do you want Shelton? What did you plan to come here to do in the first place? Because if you didn’t realize it already, I am the host and you are the guest, no harm intended Christian.
………………..………..…………. Christian: Oh no problem Carlito, you’re making me feel like Tom Cruise right now.
Carlito: That’s pretty cool.
[(Shelton snatches Christian’s mic away this time)]
Shelton Benjamin: Well, right about now, if you ask me, I don’t think you’re treating me anything like a star. It feels more like a discussion you’d overhear at a gay bar.
Carlito: What are you talking about? You want to have a say I guess, well here’s a question for you… Why do you think you are so cool?
Shelton Benjamin: Well for one thing… I’m more athletic than you both… I’m a better wrestler than you two… and I’m downright cooler than you two.
Carlito: Oh, yeah… Well since you’re not as cool as me and Christian, then I don’t know why you’re still here, so scram to the back and go whine about your momma to the geeks in the back, because just like you; they’re not cool.
Shelton Benjamin: As a matter of fact, I will leave this hellhole.
[(Shelton turns around and leaves to the back)]
Carlito: Good, now that the Cabana is free of scrubs, it’s now back to being cool. Christian… those sunglasses are cool, where can I get a pair?
………………..………..…………. Christian: Oh these…
*takes them off*… here you could have them.
Carlito: *puts them on* Cool.
………………..………..…………. Christian: Now sorry to cut this Cabana short, but I have some business to attend to. I need to talk to Long about getting a match with Cena.
Carlito: Oh that’s cool. I had something else planned for the Cabana anyways. Good luck with it, because Teddy Long… he’s not cool.
………………..………..…………. Christian: So I’ve heard.
[(Christian departs the ring)]
Carlito: Now, let’s see it, roll the cool footage that I have.
[(The entrance screen shows the events that took place on last week’s Cabaña. Haas and Holly are tricked into being blindfolded when MNM ambush them and deliver a hefty beat down.)]
Carlito: That was pretty cool…
[(To Carlito’s surprise Haas and Holly’s entrance music plays and out they come with mean looking faces as they staredown Carlito all the way into the ring.)]
Carlito: Now wait, wait, wait…
[(Holly and Haas do not listen to Carlito as they begin to clobber Carlito with punches. Carlito has a mic in hand, and is calling for help. Help is received when MNM run towards the ring to give a hand to Carlito. However, Holly and Haas are able to control Nitro and Mercury. They begin to brawl around the Cabana set when Holly picks Mercury up for the Alabama Slam. But before he could smack him into the canvas, Carlito crouches underneath him and connects with a low blow. Carlito and MNM are able regain authority in the ring as they are now a three on two force. But before they could do too much damage Shelton Benjamin makes his way back into the ring, to level things up. MNM and Carlito are sent to the outside where they congregate on what to do next. Shelton helps Holly and Haas back up and they request for them to come back in the ring to fight.)]
/(/(/Commercial Break\)\)\
6-man Tag Match
Carlito Carribean Cool/Joey Mercury/Johnny Nitro .vs. Shelton Benjamin/Charlie Haas/Hardcore Holly
When we come back from the commericial break, the Cabana set has been removed and a 6-man tag match has been agreed upon.
Carlito is in the ring with Haas and has Charlie cinched in with a back mounted sleeper hold. Haas has been in the match for the majority of the match, not getting the chance to make the tag. But Haas soon breaks out of the hold and carries Carlito like he’s giving him a piggyback ride and dives to his corner to make the tag, tagging Shelton Benjamin. Benjamin enters with an outbreak of offense, including an spinning wheel kick, northern lights suplex, and springboard leg drop takedown. He sends Carlito into the corner and goes for the Stinger Splash, but Carlito avoids it and reaches out for a tag to Nitro. Nitro picks Shelton up and connects with a blue thunder backbreaker
… 1… 2… kickout. He goes for the break dance leg drop, and thumps his leg on top of Shelton’s neck
… 1… 2… the cover is broken up by Holly. Shelton gets back up to a vertical basis and catches Nitro with an arm-trap suplex. Shelton tags in Hardcore Holly.
Holly grabs Nitro by his legs and slingshots him up into the bottom rope, he then pulls him by the hair and whips him to the other side and connects with a perfect missile dropkick to the side of the head. Nitro ends up in between the second and top rope where Holly positions him for the rope-hung low blow kick. Mercury enters the ring to try to cease this from happening, but the ref stops him mid-way. As the ref is distracted, Carlito is able to intercept the move by knocking Holly in the head with top rope lariat. Nitro covers Holly
… 1 …2 …Shelton stops the pinfall. Nitro brings Holly back to his corner where him, Mercury, and Carlito triple team him. Nitro tags in Mercury, but stays in the ring with him to try to finish Holly with the Snapshot DDT. Before they could slap Holly down into the canvas, Shelton and Haas springboard off the top rope and connect with clotheslines. They then go back to the days when they were the World’s Greatest Tag Team. Mercury is given the Superkick/German suplex combo.
Cole: Flashback to the days when Shelton and Haas were the self-proclaimed World’s Greatest Tag Team.
Tazz: Damn, I missed that move. I miss that team.
Nitro is given the double arm drag onto the knees and is then thrown out of the ring. Mercury tags in Carlito. CCC ducks a superkick by Haas and flings him over the top rope. Dragon Whip by Shelton fails, when Carlito ducks and Shelton kicks Holly who just staggered back up. Carlito back body drops Shelton to the outside and pins Holly
… 1… 2… kickout. Carlito hooks Holly’s neck for a possible DDT, but Holly uses his strength to ream him into the corner and tag Shelton. Shelton irish whips Carlito into the other corner… Stinger Splash… running bulldog…lateral press… 1…2…Mercury and Nitro break up the cover. Holly and Haas enter. Superkick to Nitro sending him staggering into the ropes, followed up by a missile dropkick from Holly. Holly and Haas unveil their newly developed tag team move as Holly pulls Mercury up for the Falcon Arrow and Haas climbs the top rope. Haas flies into Mercury with a twisting crossbody and Holly drops Mercury on to his head with the Falcon Arrow simultaneously.
Cole: What an impressive double team move…
Tazz: Yeah Holly told me that he was going to divulge that move soon, and he and Haas want us to call it the “The Charlie Horse”.
Back in the ring, Shelton has Carlito in the T-Bone suplex stance, but Carlito is hooking his leg so that Shelton cannot pull the move off. Shelton backs into the ropes and then lets go of Carlito and sprints to the other side’s ropes. He rebounds but Carlito tries to back body drop him. Shelton counters it and locks in a german suplex hold. Carlito tries to escape but is caught in a roll-upp
… 1… 2… Carlito reverses it into a pin combination of his own, and pulls Shelton’s tights at the same time
… 1… 2… Shelton rolls out of it.
Carlito is stunned and twirls straight into a T-Bone Suplex
… 1… 2… 3… Shelton has picked up the victory for his team.
Cole: Carlito is astounded that Shelton has picked up the victory. He thought he had the match won with the pull of the tights but he was wrong, Benjamin showed great ability to roll out of the devious pinning combination.
Tazz: Carlito gave Benjamin his money’s worth and don’t forget to mention Haas and Holly; they were just as impressive as a team as Shelton and Haas were in their day as a tag team.
/(/(/Commercial Break\)\)\
Cole: The following match has been building up the last few weeks on Smackdown ever since Val arrived on Smackdown’s turf. Angle feels that Val is a disgrace to the wrestling industry with his reputation as a former porn star, and Angle wants to end Val’s reign as a WWE superstar. This should be an intriguing match up, because Val has proven to be a talented wrestler and could possibily surprise Kurt and prove to him that he can be up to par with him in the wrestling ring. Angle does not view Venis as a respectable wrestler, and may be going into the match bigheaded and arrogant.
Grudge Match
Kurt Angle .vs. Val Venis
Three minutes into the match, Val has actually been up to par with Angle’s Olympic style offense. For instance, he would counter Angle’s hammerlock with a headlock, and they would continue to chain wrestle on the mat until they came back to a stalemate.
Angle has Val rolled across the canvas with a key lock. Val is trying frantically to reach the ropes for a rope break. He finally manages to do so, and Angle keeps the submission locked in until a count of 5, when the ref implements the rope break rule. Venis gets back up, still grimacing onto his arm. Angle grabs him with that same arm and whips him into the ropes. Val rebounds but ducks a clothesline by Angle. Angle ends up sending Venis with the irish whip once again but this time Venis leaches on to the ropes to stop himself from bouncing back. Angle charges, but Val propels Angle over the top rope and onto the floor outside with the mats. However, Angle quickly gets back up and climbs the apron, only for Val to clout him over the head with a running forearm and sending Angle crashing back to the floor. Angle yet again reaches his feet like wildfire again but this time doesn’t jump on top of the apron without thinking. Val laughs at him and pokes fun at him, urging him to get back into the ring.
Cole: Is Angle actually getting bugged by Val in a match he vowed to dominate in?
Tazz: It sure looks like it, but when Angle was in the Olympics, it wasn’t legal to knock your opponent with running forearms to send them out of a ring…
Cole: Well, we’ll see if Val can last, he is certainly fiddling with Angle’s mind here.
Angle goes back up on the apron but, ends up having to lower himself back down before Val could hammer him with another forearm. Angle gets short-tempered and begins kicking stuff outside, including the security barrier and ring steps, which he soon regrets.
Angle tries to slide under the bottom rope but crawls back out when Venis threats him with kicks. Angle changes his game plan by backing off. He then summons Val to come out of the ring to get him instead. Val tells the ref to start a count out, which he does. Angle is frustrated and as the ref’s count goes to 7, Angle climbs back into the ring. Val pounds him with stiff clubs to the back of his neck. Angle regains the upperhand with a double leg takedown, but Val somehow catches Angle with a body scissors, cinches in a half nelson, and fishhooks Angle’s nose with his index and middle finger of his free arm, adding onto the embarrassment.
But after about 9 seconds, Angle responds back by freeing himself and pummeling Venis’s left knee into the canvas. Angle retorts and meshes Val’s face with kicks. Venis snags Angle’s leg and brings him back down with a single leg takedown. Val picks Angle back up with a front headlock and then shucks him into a german suplex position. Val tries to pull Angle into a full nelson slam, but Angle reiterates a german suplex postion. Val does everything he can to prevent Angle from planting him with the german, so he falls to his rear end and pulls himself back up by twirling onto Angle’s arms and knocking him back down with a wrist clutch northern lights takeover. Val releases himself from Angle’s arms but Angle replies by kicking him in the head. Val tries to show that he is in control by quickly getting back up. Angle swings at him with another kick, but Val grabs a hold of Angle’s leg, and sweeps Angle’s other leg sending him to the ground. Val tries to lock in a standing leg lock as well as kick Angles other leg but Angle is to close to the ropes and captures them to pull himself out of Venis’s hands and to the floor outside. Angle is caught in the same position he was in before, where he has trouble getting back inside without Val ready to pounce on him. Kurt finally tries to get up on the apron and catch Val off guard with a guillotine but it is Val himself who is able to guillotine him back down.
Cole: Oh no, I think Angle has had enough, he’s going for a steel chair…
Angle has gotten himself a steel chair and is about to enter the ring with it, but the ref points to him and yells no to bring it in or he’ll be disqualified. Angle teases Val but finally releases it on the apron. He tricks Val by sliding the chair to the opposite end of the ring. Val turns around and goes after it. Kurt promptly takes advantage by going inside the ring and catching him in a German Suplex position. Val rushes to get out of it by spurting to the ring ropes. They recoil from the ropes, and Angle is forced to roll through, Val ends up trapping Angle in a roll-up…
1… 2… 3!.No! … Angle kicked out. After kicking out, Angle rolls himself out of the ring. Angle is caught outside all over again. Angle is fuming mad and ends up snaring a steel chair again. But before Angle could try to enter the ring, Val picked up the first chair that Angle slipped into the ring.
Cole: Val has evened up the score.
Tazz: It’s still not fair to Angle though…
Cole: Why not? They both have steel chairs in their hands.
Tazz: Well if you lift your head from the papers you’re reading and closely pay attention, Val is inside of the ring, while Angle is outside of the ring.
Cole: So what, Tazz? Angle was the one that rolled out of the ring in the first place.
Tazz: Yeah, but how is Angle going to able to get the first strike while he’ stuck outside. If Val was really acting fair and stuff as you like to call it Cole, he would drop the chair, let Angle in with no offense, and let Angle smack him upside his head with the chair.
Cole: You are totally out of your wits, Tazz.
Tazz: We’ll see about that.
After more taunting from both men, the ref has Angle with an 8 count on the outside. Angle decides to drop the chair and climb the apron. Val still has his chair in hand. The ref decides to take action and take the chair from Val’s hands, ending into a conflicting dispute. Angle uses this as a convenience and enters back into the ring and swoops under Val with a low blow. The ref notices this and calls Angle for the disqualification. Angle takes the chair from Venis and whacks him in the forehead with it. Venis collapses to the floor. The ref tries to impede Angle but Angle sends him exiting the ring after he threatens to hit him also. Angle preys on Venis as he bangs the chair off the canvas waiting for Val to get back up.
Cole: Don’t do it Val, stay down.
Tazz: You think Val’s a coward like you Cole…
Cole: Oh, please Tazz, if Val gets back up Angle will just connect with another chairshot.
Tazz: Cool, thanks for letting me know Cole.
Angle indeed connects with another chairshot but this time to the southern region of Venis, wedging it in between Val’s legs and erecting it back up. Angle then strikes with a third chairshot to the cranium. Afterwards, Angle opens the chair back up and places it on top of Val so he could sit down. Angle wails at Val with insults and threats. He then begins to conceitedly slap at Val’s face. Security and refs come to the ring to pry Angle off of Venis. Angle is dragged to the back by a ton of security with a large grin across his face.
Cole: What a fortuitous, hellacious onslaught by Angle. Was that necessary? Was this necessary, Tazz, really Angle is a proven gifted athlete, why must he always stoop to this repulsive level?
Tazz: I don’t know Cole, you’ll have to ask Angle.
/(/(/Commercial Break\)\)\
During the Break: [(Val is carried to the back by two refs, he is scrunching his face up in pain.)]
Back in Teddy Long’s office: [(Christian is in his office carrying a conversation.)]
Teddy Long: What do you want, Christian…
………………………..…………….Christian: How ya doing, Teddy Schlong, yo…
Teddy Long: What have you been smoking, Christian?
………………..…….….…………. Christian: No, yo, I’ve been chewing tobacco, yo, and I wanted to know, could I have a match-o with John Cena, yo.
Teddy Long: Listen to me playa, cut the cheese.
[(Christian looks at Long funny, he then begins to sniff the air.]
Teddy Long: Look playa, you’ll get your chance at Cena, as soon as I get my paperwork done. Now, leave the room playa, before I send you back to an elementary school classroom.
………………..………..…………. Christian: I be liking your verses, yo. But you can’t match...Captian Charaisma choo-choo-choking on your bro Cena, yo.
Teddy Long: Cut your jibber-jabbing, and leave the room playa, unless you want to lick the bottom of my shoe.
………………..………..…………. Christian: Well I guess my presence isn’t appreciated, so I’ll leave and… and… and… yeah… I’ll go, yo…
[(Teddy Long looks on bemused at Christian as he leaves his office.)]
Back to the Ring:
[(The Dudley Boyz have made their way to the ring, during the Christian/Long segment.)]
Bubba: Last week, the Dudley Boyz decimated Steven Richards…right here in the middle of the ring. And I know you people enjoyed it… D-Von and I would’ve longed to have continued that type of annihilation tonight, but Teddy Long decided to outlaw us from doing so. And instead, Teddy Long scheduled a match between me and another scumbag. So if we don’t satisfy you’re needs for extreme hardcore action tonight, so if you want to pit the guilt on somebody, don’t blame us, blame Teddy Long…
Singles Match
Bubba Ray Dudley .vs. William Regal
[(Bubba is playing the heel role in this match, while Regal is the babyface. The fans are unsure on what to do, since although Bubba is using heel tactics, he still hasn’t convinced people that he is a full-fledged heel.)]
Bubba hauls Regal up with a back body swinging suplex… lateral press
… 1… 2… kickout. Bubba drops an elbow…hooks the leg
… 1… 2… kickout. Bubba calls D-Von to get into the ring, but the ref brings him to a standstill. Bubba uses this as a leeway, he picks Regal’s legs up while Regal flounders on his stomach and connects with a sick kick to the groin
… 1… 2… kickout! Bubba is flustered with Regal’s resilience. He picks Regal up by the hair but Regal kicks Bubba’s legs from underneath him and catches him in a mahistrol cradle… 1… 2…kickout. When Bubba gets back up, Regal launches a flurry of uppercuts, jabs, and chops. Regal Cutter
… 1… 2… rope break. D-Von put Bubba’s foot on the bottom rope behind the ref’s back, and he pointed it out by climbing on the apron before the ref could count to 3. Regal confronts D-Von by clenching his fist into a ball and threatening him. Small Package by Bubba, pull of the tights
… 1… 2… kickout. Regal gets back up, ducks a clothesline, bounces off the ropes…double clothesline…both men flail to the floor.
Cole: What a monster collision…
The ref starts a double countout… 1… 2… 3… 4… 5… 6… Bubba is crawling to the ropes to use it for leverage to get up… 7… Regal gets to his feet… 8… Bubba is up now.
Regal clenches onto Bubba’s big, thick head… snapmare takeover. Regal whips himself off the ropes, big kick to the spine of Bubba. He repeats the process, a second spine-tingling kick. Once more, Regal signifies the crowd. D-Von yanks on his leg, Regal uses his other leg to jerk D-Von back to the floor outside. Regal daubs Bubba over with a sleeper hold. He keeps it on for 30 seconds before he descends to the floor to lock in a body scissors.
Cole: Bubba looks dazed. He’s being put to sleep by Regal.
Tazz: Yes Cole, and it’s a king sized ring…there’s enough room for you too, why don’t you join him.
Cole: Shutup, Tazz.
The ref lift’s Bubba’s arm and flaps it in the air, it falls without an altercation. He picks it up for a second time… it flails back to the floor like a dead seagull. Thrice time is a charm… but D-Von has entered the ring. He skirmishes with the ref, but the ref sends him out of the ring. D-Von goes to leave again, but when he notices Regal still has the sleeper on Bubba he tries to break it, but the ref brings him to a halt. The ref decides to disregard D-Von to check on Bubba’s status again. He lifts Bubba’s arm one more time, but this time before he drops it D-Von attacks him. D-Von begins beating up the ref with kicks as if he was trying to get a soccer ball. Regal releases the hold and leaps on top of D-Von and sends him into the turnbuckle and begins to return the favor to D-Von by connecting with kicks of his own, he begins to stomp a mudhole, no longer paying attention to the match he was in. The ref finally revives himself after the ambush by D-Von and calls the bell. He has disqualified Bubba Ray Dudley, and claims William Regal the winner of the match.
The ref holds onto his neck in agony and steps backwards hoping to find a way out of the ring. Little did he know, Bubba was lying next to him grimacing his wounds. The ref ends up tripping over Bubba and falls on his ass. Bubba slowly totters to a vertical position and targets the ref. The ref stumbles, trying to get away from him, but Bubba catches him with his modified full-nelson atomic drop. Bubba keeps the ref in his arms even after the move and has a chilling creepy look on his face, one you would imagine a serial killer would have. At last, Regal realizes what happened and goes to get Bubba. Regal pulls Bubba off of the ref, but Bubba unexpectedly lifts Regal onto his arms and drops him down with a Samoan drop. Bubba gets back up and pulls D-Von back up. He shoves him in the chest which almost sends him toppling to the floor, D-Von looks puzzled as to why he did it. Instead of saying ‘Get the Tables’, as he would normally say to get the crowd with them, he shouts to D-Von
‘Let’s Finish Him’ D-Von smiles and they clap each other’s hands.
‘Oh’ Testify’, D-Von barks.
D-Von lifts Regal up. Bubba follows with a vicious kick to the groin. Bubba then laces Regal with hundreds of closed fists punches. D-Von crosses Regal’s arms and backs up to the corner. Bubba connects with hundreds of kicks and punches to the abdominal region. Bubba then picks up his boot and crams it into Regal’s groin. Blood begins to protrude Regal’s mouth and he has turned purple because D-Von still has Regal in the crossed-arm chokehold. When security guards and refs come out to break it up, Bubba bends down and delivers low blows to as many as he can. He then takes hold of them and chucks them onto Regal. Bubba is finally taken under control after lobbing three of the security guards into Regal.
Cole: My God…this is atrocious… What went wrong with the Dudleyz?
Tazz: It’s not what went wrong with the Dudleyz, it’s more like who gave birth to the Dudleyz for a second time… The Dudleyz have been reborn…
/(/(/Commercial Break\)\)\
Teddy Long’s office:
[(Christian storms Teddy Long’s office again and the look on his face is priceless. It’s like he’s just been chased by the boogeyman.]
…………..………..….. Christian: Jesus, did you see that, Teddy?
Teddy Long: Holla, holla, playa. Unfortunately, yes I did.
……………..……..….. Christian: Thank, God!
[(Christian embraces Long in a hug, because he seems scared stiff. Teddy Long is startled and tries to get Christian off of him)]
Teddy Long: Get off me playa.
………………..………. Christian: Gee wizz, I thought I was the only one.
Teddy Long: You are talking about what happened in the ring just now, right playa?
………………..………. Christian: No, what happened in the ring just now, Teddy…I mean…yo.
Teddy Long: Well… The Dudleyz butchered William Regal.
………………..………. Christian: Really…I knew Spike was a cuckoo…and..um..uh..yeah…Spike is a wacko, so give me my matcho with John Cena…yo.
Teddy Long: No actually…it was Bubba and D-Von, playa.
[(Christian shrugs.)]
Teddy Long: And no Cena is wrestling Chavo tonight, *shakes his head unhappily* right after Regal’s blood is wiped from the ring.
………………..………. Christian: Now…yo…yo…yo…don’t be hating Teddy Sclong…yo.
Teddy Long: It would be nice if you wouldn’t refer to be by that name, playa, and no, I’m not hating on you playa. Now if you would excuse me playa, I have to brazen out those damn Dudleyz.
[(Christian is disappointed and has a disgusted, gloomy look on his face as Teddy leaves his office. All of a sudden he gets a revelation and storms after Long.)]
………………..………. Christian: Teddy!...uh…yo…Teddy! It’s Kane! Kane is in the building! That’s why I was consulting with you earlier. He snuck up behind me with a cigarette. He scared the crap out of me. I hope you have him fired. Uh...actually…don’t fire him… *he panics and looks around for Kane* …You could trade him to Raw.
Teddy Long: Don’t worry about it playa.
………………..………. Christian: Aye, aye…yo.
[(Teddy Long turns around and leaves. Christian salutes him like a soldier.)]
………………..………. Christian: Aye, aye…yo. I won’t worry about a thing, yo…Yeah because I’m thrifty, yo… I’m ghetto, yo… I’m chronic, yo… I’m crunk, yo…yeah…and I’m Captain Charisma dammit.
[(Christian brushes off his shoulders like a rap star. Slaps his chest with his hand, kisses space, and then puts on his funky sunglasses. He finally storms off, failing miserably at doing a pimp walk trying to impress the makeup ladies.)]
Back to Teddy Long:
[(Teddy Long is strolling backstage in search of something or someone. But before long, he bumps into two people… The Dudley Boyz. They appear to be who he was looking for in the first place as he wipes his hands together with glee that he has finally found them.)]
………………..…………….Bubba: What’s up… Teddy?
Teddy Long: What is the matter with you two, playas?
………………..……………. Bubba: Who, us? Nothing is the matter. Right, D-Von…
…………………………………..………. D-Von: Oh, testify brother…
Teddy Long: Now stop the perjury, and tell the truth playas. Why have you been acting like unglued maniacs ever since you have returned?
………………..……………. Bubba: Why, is there something wrong?... Can you not take hardcore? Are you one of the people who squeals and spews vomit every time they see blood? Or can you just not hang with a former Extreme Championship Wrestling tag team, such as Bubba Ray and D-Von? You see if you are not able to tolerate the blood and violence that the Dudley Boyz produce, you’re in the wrong industry. This is what we do... This is what made us famous… This is what is earning this company a profit right now… and this is what Vince McMahon is using to pay you Teddy. The fans want us to be violent. They want us to go beserk and be bloodthirsty. They want us to act like crazed apes and they want us to flatten our opponents. They don’t want us to flirt with the referees. They don’t want us to flaunt around in the ring like ballerinas. They don’t want us to bake a cake and feed it to each other. They want us to fight… and that’s what the Dudley Boyz live for.
Teddy Long: Listen to me playas, I appreciate your commitment to the wrestling product. And by all means I myself appreciate a good flesh-erupting, blood-gushing, crimson mask brawl every once in a while. What I don’t appreciate is your nonsensical and foolish blitzing of innocent people. I mean what did Regal do to deserve getting his head split open playa… he has a family that was probably watching who were unprepared to see such a beating take place. What do you want me to say to them? That Regal warranted what was coming to him... Well he didn’t playas, and I have you two to blame for it. And what about Steven Richards last week, he was harmlessly giving a promo to the Smackdown audience, and the next thing you know, you two are surrounding him with steel chairs, as if he deserved the beatdown you gave him last week.
………………..……………. Bubba: They were in the wrong place at the wrong time. If they were incapable of taking that asskicking, then as far as I know they don’t deserve to stay in this business. How else are we going to give what the fans want, when you’re sticking us in bullshit singles matches. Until you give us a match where we can showcase our hardcore style of offense, then me and D-Von will continue wrecking havoc. We will continue subjecting others with our beatdowns and they will continue to get even more extremer and severer. And we will be even more heartless and pitiless on their lifeless bodies. And there’s nothing you can do about it…
Teddy Long: Actually there is playa. If you persist with your outrageous ‘hardcore’ behavior, that you have used as of late, then playas, you will be both suspended indefinitely.
………………….……………. Bubba: *laughs to himself* We’ll see about that. Because I know that if you boot us off of the Smackdown roster, you will be costing Vince McMahon income, and that makes you all the more deplorable as the Smackdown GM.
Teddy Long: Well I don’t know if you realized this playas, but I and the fans forgot to miss you for months, and it wasn’t until 2 weeks ago that you were brought back, and to be honest people have already long forgotten who you were. So I’ll doubt that we’ll be missing you this time around, playas.
………………………..……. Bubba: Oh, they’ll remember Teddy, they’ll remember. And if you dare to suspend us, if it isn’t us that kicks your ass for your stubbornness, I’m sure the fans will.
………………………….………………. D-Von: Oh, Testify…
/(/(/Commercial Break\)\)\
Non-Title Singles Match
Chavo Guerrero .vs. John Cena
This was an even match for the most of the beginning. It wasn’t until Christian made his way to the ring to help Chavo, that the match got a little one-sided.
Chavo is jamming Cena’s throat against the second rope as Christian gazes a Cena and begins to talk smack to him. Christian slaps his chest and proclaims that he should be world heavyweight champion. When Christian tries to get a cheap shot at Cena the ref goes after him, but Chavo releases the hold and scuffles with the ref. Christian is now able to stick it to Cena with a few punches and guillotine neckdrop back on the second rope. Chavo takes Cena back in his hands and drops him on his head with a high angle back body suplex
…1…2…kickout. Chavo picks Cena back up and shoots him back to a vertical suplex position…brainbuster…No! Cena has countered it, and has fallen back to his feet. He lifts Chavo into a suplex of his own but runs towards the corner and plants Chavo with a reverse suplex into the turnbuckle. Chavo’s abdomen is trampled by the top turnbuckle as he flops to the floor.
Cena props Chavo back up and places him on the corner (ala Goldust when he goes for the Shattered Dreams nut kick). Cena strides to the opposite corner and skedaddles across to the corner where Chavo is placed. Cena pretends he’s going to kick Chavo in the balls but instead he nudges him in the cheek with his knuckles and mocks him. He then connects with ten forearm shots with the crowd counting along like they were keeping track of how many times he was jump-roping. Cena pumps up the crowd, and Christian opts to climb the apron to sidetrack Cena. Cena dives at Christian and connects with a right hand. He climbs the ropes and badgers Christian to try again. Cena removes Chavo from the ropes and then irish whips him to the other side of the ring. Cena connects with a clothesline and then picks him up in a powerslam position. He runs towards the opposite end and connects with a running powerslam (ala the British Bulldog). Cena is upbeat and decides to pump up his shoes…Five Knuckle Shuffle
…1…2…No! Christian pulls the ref out of the ring by his ankles. The ref and Christian quibble over the situation….
“BOOM”…
Cole: It’s Kane! Kane has made his way out! Get that sleazebag Christian, Kane! Get him!
Tazz: What the hell is he doing out here?
Christian is frozen with terror. Kane gets all the way to Christian’s spot, before Christian finally tries to runaway. He tries to slide into the ring, but Kane pulls him back out and grabs him by the throat…But Christian manages to kick out of it, and tries to trample to the back. Kane reaches him halfway towards the big fist entrance way. He nabs him by his throat…but Christian once again flees and tries to creep through underneath his legs. Kane catches him once again… Chokeslam… to the floor.
Back in the ring Cena has Chavo up for the FU…he slumps him down
… 1… 2… 3…
Cole: Cena wins!
Cena is victorious back in the ring. The ref holds his hand up in triumphant. Kane enters the ring to congratulate. He stares at Cena head-on, but then grabs his hand and shakes it he holds Cena’s arm up for the crowd. Kane then acknowledges to Cena that he’s going to do the 4-corner pyro thing. He tells Cena to tag along with him. Kane pulls Cena’s hand up to do the pyro explosion, but as Cena drops his free arm down, Kane keeps both of his arms up including Cena’s other hand in one of his. Cena looks perplexed at Kane as he keeps his arms up for about 15 more seconds while closing his eyes and looking at the arena’s roof in the process. Kane opens his eyes and looks back at Cena with a huge grin on his face. With his free arm, Kane binds it onto Cena’s throat. Cena looks like he is going to barf from the strain he is putting onto Cena’s throat…Kane pulls him up…Chokeslam!
Kane stares at the carcass of Cena lying in the middle of the ring…and convulses into an evil laugh. He stands over Cena’s body and follows up with his own 4-corner pyro detonation. Christian looks on at what happened in the ring taken aback as he sprawls on the floor from the chokeslam he was just given a few moments before by Kane.
Cole: Lord, have mercy… Why? Why, Kane? What did Cena do to deserve this?
/(/(/Fade Out\)\)\
