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[9:50am] Been a while since I wrote one of these dang ol' thangs and since work is going by pretty fucking slow today, what the hell?

First I needed something to stir the pot, so I took this picture I found on the floor somewhere and stuck it on the front window for all the drivers to look at.



I'm thinking one of two things could happen with this. Either the rightful owner will discover it and get mad/creeped out that I displayed it on the window, or people will actually wonder if this is my familly and I'm showing them off to my customers. I like to think of it as a "social experiment".

If this doesn't solicite enough reactions, I'm going to print it out on a peice of paper with "MISSING FAMILY" as a header. Technically it is true, even if it is only a missing picture of a family.



[10:21am] I've decided to start pitching off all my ex-boss's shit she left behind when she quit. Among these items are 4 NBA bobble heads. First up is LeBron James in his Cleveland Cavaliers uniform. It's a little out-of-date, but I doubt the person I will be giving it to will give a damn.

Anyways, the rules are simple. First driver to turn in their paperwork 100% filled out completely without me or someone else in the office having to correct them wins. Game on.

[10:31am] We almost had a winner just now in the LeBron sweepstakes, but my co-worker disqualified him on grounds that "guy is fake". Apparently he tries to be your friend even though you both know he's full of shit. I hate those kind of people too, so I concurred. No LeBron for you, bitch.

[10:53am] WE HAVE A WINNER.


:hb :hb :hb


[1:40pm] Finally gave in and turned the family picture into a missing person's ad because the reactions I've been getting so far have been dull. There's suddenly a lot more people asking me about it now though. One driver asked me if the whole family was missing. So I told him one of the family members was rumored to have cannibalized the others. And how a mangelled arm was found near the train tracks near here and how the killer used the loud noise of the train to cover up the screams of his victims while he ate them alive. Can't believe he believed me.

I guarantee that guy will be thinking about it next time he hauls something across that fucking rail crossing.

[2:20pm] ANOTHER WINNER!



:hb :hb :hb


[2:53pm] Some lady just saw the fake missing person's ad. I took the liberty of posting an old cannibal story from a newspaper I dug up online directly next to the picture... not even sure if it's real or not, but it seems legit enough for what I need it for. The cannibal story seems to fly with people, so I'm rolling with it. Only I feel kinda bad now because the lady who saw it was reading it, covering her mouth with her hand and staring in horror and disbelief. Makes me wonder if I should take that down before the real owner of that picture sees it... though that could be funny.

Probably going to replace the cannibal story with something a little less messy tomorrow. Probably a serial rapist article or something.

[3:20pm] A woman just called and asked me, "Can you tell me if this box has left yet?" I said "Yes it has." Without even realizing she didn't even give me the unit #, she's replies "Ok great!" and hung up. She'll probably call back.

Yep, that must be her now. Whore.

[3:40pm] On the home stretch now, only an hour to go up here. Think I'll go ahead and wrap this up and find something else to do until then.
 

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You know what would awesome? If the people that believed you about the cannibals tell other people and this story spreads into an urban myth.

I'm glad people around you at work aren't cynical, skeptical bastards.
 
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