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Discussion Starter · #1 · (Edited)
Ok, here's how this league works. A weekly show called Access Hollywood will air every Tuesday with about 3 to 4 matches on it. Celebrities will wrestle just like wwe wrestlers and have their own special finishers. Here is the roster-

Ben Affleck w/J-LO
Brad Pitt w/ Jennifer Aniston
Leonardo DeCaprio
Luke Wilson
Owen Wilson
Ashton Kutcher w/ Demi Moore
Bruce Willis
Keanu Reeves
Matt Damon
Mike Myers
Ben Stiller
Nicholas Cage
Arnold Schwarzenegger
Vin Diesel
Ray Romano
Keifer Sutherland
Will Smith
Martin Lawrence
Snoop Dawg
Toby McGuire
Tom Hanks

Women Division

Drew Barrymore
Lucy Lui
Cameron Diaz
Kate Hudson
Penelope Cruz
Julia Roberts
Sarah Jessica Parker
Renee Zelwigger
Reese Witherspoon
Beyonce Knowles
Rebecca Romijn-Stamos
Sarah Michelle Gellar
Angelina Jolie

more to come later. I might write two shows so I can have more


World Heavyweight Championship
Television Champion
Tag Team Championship
Women's Championship

Here we go-

The pyro's explode as "Faint " by Linkin Park blasts throught the arenas. We are taken to Jay Leno and David Letterman, who are the announcers for this inaugeral show.

Leno-" Hello and welcome to Access Hollywood. I am your announcer, Jay Leno, along with my assistant, David Letterman. Funny story about Dave..."

Letterman-" Oh, pipe down and let's get onto the match at ringside.

Standing in the ring is Leonardo DiCaprio. He has a mike and looks to address the crowd.

DiCaprio- " Tom Hanks, ladies and gentleman, is nothing more than a failure. He can't beat me, he can't find me, and hell, he can't even catch me. So Tom, if you're back there, see if you can Catch me if you Can!

With that, Tom Hanks runs to " Sweet Home Alabama" and tries to catch DiCaprio. DiCaprio runs around the ring and then starts to run up the ramp and to the backstage.

(commercial break)

We are now back from the commercial break and Dicaprio has now made his way back to the ring after being chased by Hanks. DiCaprio, out of breath, grabs the mike.

DiCaprio- "You see, I knew he wouldn't find me." He gets up on the turnbuckle. "I'm the KING OF THE WORLD!!!"

Just then, Hanks slides out from under the ring apron. He gets behind Dicaprio. When Dicaprio jumps down, Hanks blasts him with right hands. Hanks whips him into the ropes and catches him with a huge GumpHandle Slam (PumpHandle Slam). The crowd is cheering as Hanks lifts him up and gives DiCaprio the Road to Perdition (Death Valley Driver).

Hanks gets up and leaves the ring to a round of cheers.

Leno- "Wow, that was amazing. Hanks just taught DiCaprio a lesson about respect. But coming up next, the Bad Boyz (Will Smith and Martin Lawrence) collide with Ashton Kutcher and Dax with the lovely Miss Demi Moore at their side. That's all coming up right now.

Letterman- "And here we go."

Ashton Kutcher, Dax, and the lovely Demi Moore with all her kids by her side are making their way to the ring to a huge round of cheers from the crowd. Then the soundtrack from "Bad Boyz" blasts throughout the arena as the Bad Boyz themselves walk down the aisle and storm the ring. The bell rings.

The Bad Boyz vs. Dax and Ashton Kutcher

Kutcher gets in the ring first to start things off against Lawrence. Lawrence grabs Ashton and starts peppering him with right hands. He works him over into the corner and gives a few slaps to the chest of Ashton. Lawrence then whips Ashton over into the other corner and hits a huge spear. Lawrence picks up Ashton and plants him with a backbreaker. Ashton is in serious trouble as Lawrence tags in Smith. "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air" steps in and immediately hits Kutcher with a belly-to-belly suplex. Smith brings Ashton close and locks him in an stf. Ashton is in trouble, but Demi gets the crowd to start clapping. Ashton starts to pick up energy as he begins to throw elbows into Smith's stomach. Ashton flings Smith into the ropes and drills him with a clothesline that sends Smith to the outside. Dax runs over to the announce table and grabs a steel chair.

Letterman- "What's he going to do with that chair?"

Dax places it in the ring and walks toward Ashton, who is now being double-teamed. Dax grabs Smith and throws him into the ring. The ref isn't watching as Dax low-blows Smith and lifts him into a faceplant on the steel chair. Smith is out as Kutcher crawls into the ring and makes the cover. The ref counts. Lawrence tries to save the match, but Dax spears him. 1...2...3.

Winners via pinfall- Ashton Kutcher and Dax

Dax and Kutcher leave the ring as Smith starts to get up.

Leno- "You can bet that there will be some retaliation next week.

Letterman- " If I know Lawrence and Smith, which I don't, there will be hell to pay next week.

We take you now live to our very own interview segment, "CRIB CrAsH" with Carson Daly. Carson is standing by with Snoop Dogg.

Carson- "Alright, Snoop, welcome to CRIB CrAsH. How have you been?"

Snoop- " Fo sure, dawg, I've just been chillin with my homies."

Carson- "Alright then, well, we're going to play a little word association game."

Snoop- "Cool."

Carson- "Ray Romano?"

Snoop- "Goofy."

Carson- "Ben Stiller?"

Snoop- "Whack!"

Carson- "Crystal Wine?"

Snoop- "Delicious."

Carson- "J-Lo?"

Snoop- laughs. "Delicious."

Carson- "Ashton Kutcher?"

Snoop- looks directly into the camera. "DEAD MAN!"

The camera goes back to our announce team.

Leno- "What has gotten into Snoop? Why does he hate Ashton Kutcher?"

(commercial break)

The cameras zoom in on Matt Damon getting ready for his match. He starts stretchin when J-Lo and Ben Affleck walks in. Ben and Matt shake hands as they both sit down.

Affleck- "Have you been thinking about that offer?"

Damon- "Yes, I have. And I'm in. The WCW better watch out for The MASS Connection!

Affleck- "Awesome, so now it's official. You've got my back, and I've got yours.

J-Lo- "What about me?"

Affleck- "Don't worry, sweetheart. I DEFINATELY got your back."

Ben and J-Lo then make out as Matt heads to the ring for his match.Matt Damon walks down the aisle to "Price to Play" by Staind. Damon is set for one on one action with a mystery opponent.

Suddenly, a man wearing a business suit and a mask walks out on stage.

Masked Man- "I'm out here tonite to make an announcement. That is that I am the owner of the WCW. I will not reveal my identity till I think the time is right. For now, I will be known as Mr. Hollywood. Now, Matt Damon, you are a fine upstanding celebrity. And I know that you have a match to get on with. So I am here to introduce your TWO opponents, "The Wolverine" Hugh Jackman and "007" Pierce Brosnan!

Brosnan walks slowly down the ramp as Jackman charges in from the crowd. The crowd explodes as Jackman poses on the turnbuckles.

Hollywood- "And this match will be for the Television Championship!"

Triple Threat Match For The T.V. Championship

Damon takes out Jackman with a couple of punches and then a big german suplex. Brosnan goes for a rake of the eyes on Damon and hits a backbreaker on Damon. Damon goes down, but Jackman wraps up Brosnan in a chokehold. Luckily, Brosnan is close to the ropes. He grabs them, but Jackman is reluctant to break the hold. He finally does as Damon comes over and clears him from the ring with a clothesline. Damon moves over to Brosnan, but gets a low blow. Brosnan goes for the cover. "1...2." Damon kicks out. Brosnan lifts him up to his feet and drills him with a full nelson suplex.
Damon stumbles to his feet and manages to hip toss Brosnan into the turnbuckle. Jackman has recovered and gets back in the ring. Damon kicks him in the gut and gives him the Identity Crisis (Book End). Damon goes for the cover. "1...2.." Brosnan breaks it up. Brosnan starts dropping elbows onto Damon's sternum. Damon tries to get up, but Brosnan keeps him down with a stiff kick to the ribs. Brosnan places damon on the top rope. He starts to climb the ropes and grabs Damon by the head.

Letterman- "Brosnan 's going for a superplex. This could be the end."

Brosnan looks to hit the superplex, but Jackman knocks him down with a forearm. Jackman then kicks him in the gut and hits the Wolf Fury (JackHammer). He covers Brosnan. The ref runs over. "1...2...3."

Winner and NEW Television Champion- "The Wolverine" Hugh Jackman.

Jackman raises the belt high above his head.

Leno- "We've got a new T.V. Champion. Jackman did it. But wait a minute. Look who's runnung down the ramp."

Jackman is celebrating his win, but gets nailed in the back from behind by Vin Diesel! Diesel grabs Jackman and hits the Triple X Stunner (3 Stunners in a row). Jackman may be out cold as Vin Diesel picks up the T.V. Title and runs off with it.

(commercial break)

Letterman- "Wow, can you believe what just happened? Diesel just stole the T.V. Title from Jackman, right after he won it. This is just terrible.

Leno- "Cheer up, Dave, because coming up next, we got one on one action when Drew Barrymore takes on Angelina Jolie.

"HELLO,ANGELS." That signals for Barrymore to make her way to the ring. She had a s huge smile on her face and is high-fiving everyone in the front row. Jolie comes down to the ring and steps inside to square off against Barrymore.

Number 1 Contendership Match
Drew Barrymore vs. Angelina Jolie

Barrymore grabs Jolie by the hair and whips her into the ropes. Barrymore hits her with a stiff clothesline. Jolie stands up as Barrymore again whips Jolie into the ropes. This time, Jolie comes off the ropes with a handspring elbow. Jolie lifts Barrymore to her feet and gives a bulldog. Barrymore tries to fight back, but Jolie is just to strong. Jolie lifts up Barrymore above her head as the crowd boos. Jolie flips them off and hits the TombRaider (Tombstone Piledriver). Jolie covers. "1...2..3.

Winner- Angelina Jolie

Letterman- "Angelina Jolie is now the Number 1 Contender. Man, anybody who wants to fight her must be nuts. Our main event is next."

Keanu Reeves is walking through the halls with a kendo stick in hand.

The cameras cut to the entrance ramp as Eminem's "Sing For The Moment" plays and Keanu Reeves walks down the ramp. He gets on the ring steps and does a backflip onto the turnbuckle, posing for the thousands of fans in attendance. But he gets cut off by a voice.

Schwarzenegger stands at the top of the ramp. "Asta la vista, BABY!"

Schwarzenegger rides down on his motorcycle and slowly walks up the steps and into the ring.

Leno- "The showdown for the World Heavyweight Championship is on."

World Heavyweight Championship
No Disqualification
Keanu Reeves vs. Arnold Schwarzenegger

Schwarzenegger runs at Reeves in an attempt to tackle him, but Reeves jumps up onto the ropes and leaps over him. Schwarzenegger is mad and frustrated at this and grabs Reeves by the head and starts headbutting him. Reeves takes the blows and counters with a roll up. "1.." Schwarzenegger kicks out with ease and drills a huge clothesline on Reeves that almost decapitates him. Schwarzenegger goes outside and grabs a trash can. He tosses it into the ring and throws Reeves into it. Schwarzenegger then looks at the crowd, who boo him uncontrolably. Reeves gets out of the trash can and reaches in to find his kendo stick. Schwarzenegger turns around and gets drilled with a shot to the head and then constant shots to the ribs. Reeves allows Schwarzenegger to get up and then tosses him trash can lid. Reeves leaps and delivers a spinning heel kick into the trash can, driving it deep into the skull of Schwarzenegger.

Schwarzenegger is down as Reeves goes for the cover. "1...2." Schwarzenegger kicks out and manages to slide out of the ring. Reeves brings his kendo stick along and hits Schwarzenegger in the back. Arnold then grabs the ring bell off the announce table and pulverizes Reeves with a shot to the chest. Schwarzenegger puts the ring bell on the mat outside the ring and chokeslams Reeves onto the ring bell!

Leno- "Reeves has to be in pain. He could be broken in half."

Schwarzenegger tosses Reeves back into the ring and picks up a chair. Schwarzenegger stumbles back into the ring, his ribs hurting from the kendo stick shots. Schwarzenegger unfolds the chair and grabs Reeves. Reeves somehow escapes Arnold's grasp and pushes Schwarzenegger into the turnbuckle. Arnold turns around, right into a dropkick. Reeves goes up top and goes for a moonsault on Schwarznegger. He leaps, but Schwarzenegger moves. He picks up the chair and slams Reeves in the ribs with it. Arnold plants Reeves with a ddt. He covers him. "1....2..." kickout by Reeves!

Letterman- "How much does Reeves have left in the tank?"

Reeves stands up and pummels Arnold with some right hands. Reeves whips Schwarzenegger into the ropes and hits him with a spinning heel kick. Reeves rolls off and hits Schwarzenegger with a rolling thunder. Reeves begins to climb the ropes as the crowd rises in anticipation. The crowd is going nuts as Schwarzenegger is down and Reeves is still climbing.

Reeves is now on the top rope. And looks around. The crowd is going nuts! Reeves leaps and hits the MatRIX (Code Red). Schwarzenegger may be out. Reeves slowly crawls over and makes the cover. "1...2......" Schwarzenegger KICKS OUT! Reeves can't believe it. Reeves stands up and heads up to the top rope again with kendo stick in hand.

But Schwarzenegger does a zombie sit-up and gets to his feet. He spots Reeves. He runs over and rips the kendo stick from his hands. Schwarzenegger then drills Reeves with an uppercut shot to the head of Reeves! Reeves falls off the ropes, out cold. The crowd is booing and throwing trash at Arnold. But Arnold doesn't go for the cover. Instead, he picks up Reeves and hoists him up onto his shoulders. He then levels Reeves with The TERMINATOR (F-5) onto the steel chair! He covers him. "1....2...3!"

Winner and New World Heavyweight Champion- Arnold Schwarzenegger

Letterman- "We've got a new champion! And what a way to win it.

Leno- " Reeves might be out for weeks after this match. Wait, it seems Schwarzenegger has something to say."

Scwarzenegger grabs a mike. "To any von in the dubbya see dubbya in da back. I am offering an open challenge to any 3 men in the back that think that they can beat me. As for Keanu Reeves, ASTA LA VISTA, BABY!"

Schwarzenegger then climbs the turnbuckle and raises the belt with one hand and the limp body of Keanu Reeves in the other.

Leno- "What a night it's been. Schwarzenegger is champion, Vin Diesel has stolen the T.V. Title, and Snoop Dogg has some business with Ashton Kutcher.

Letterman- "See ya next week on Access Hollywood."


1 Posts
_____________________________________________Advertisement for next week's show-

After the brutal No DQ Championship on last week's Access Hollywood, the WCW World Heavyweight Champion Arnold Schwarzenegger will compete, but the title will not be on the line. Schwarzenegger will take on Ashton Kutcher.

But the main attraction will be the start of the Lethal Lottery Tournament to crown new Tag Team Champions. Match 1 will be the Mass Connection (Afflec and Damon) vs. Owen Wilson and a Mystery Partner. Match 2 will be Team Old School (Luke Wilson and newly acquired Will Ferrell) vs. The Comic Crew (Hugh Jackman and Toby McGuire). 2 more Lethal Lottery matches will take place the next week.

Plus, Brad Pitt will take on Tom Hanks in one on one action. But where will DiCaprio be for this one?

Find out this week on Access Hollywood.


Pyros explode while "Faint" blasts through the arena in Hollywood, California. We take you to Jimmy Kimmel at ringside.

Kimmel- "Welcome fans to another exciting Access Hollywood. I, Jimmy Kimmel, along with my assistant, Co... Wait, where the hell is he?

Suddenly, the Late Night theme hits and Conan O'Brien struts onto the stage. He does his signature leap and spin, pointing to the Max Weinberg band in the audience. Conan then takes his seat at the announce table to a round of boos.

Kimmel- "Nice of you to join me."

Conan- "No problem." Waves to crowd. "Just doing it for all my Conan Fans out there."

Kimmel- "Whatever. Let's get to the match, NOW!"

"Price to Play" by Staind blasts through the arena as The MASS Connection, Ben Affleck and Matt Damon, walk to the ring with the lovely Jennifer Lopez accompaning them. J-Lo bends over by the ropes as Ben stares as her rather round posterior.

Kimmel- "Get a load of that."

Conan- "Yeah, J-Lo's skirt is a little to small." Conan tosses her a robe. "Cover up, for God's sake."

Damon and Affleck stand in the ring, waiting the arrival of their opponents.

"Kung Foo Fighting" goes off as Owen Wilson steps out from behind the curtain with his mystery partner, the martial art expert, JACKIE CHAN! The bell rings as the Shanghai Knights pose by the ropes. The fans boo and shout insults at Chan.

Tag Title Tournament Quaterfinal
The Shanghai Knights vs. The Mass Connection

Damon starts things off as he takes on Chan. Damon locks up with Chan. Chan throws some forearms and takes down Damon with a russian leg sweep. Chan starts dropping elbows and goes up to the second rope. Chan tags in Wilson and hits a spinning leg drop. Wilson immediately goes to work on Damon's back and scoops him into a sidewalk slam. Wilson goes to the top rope and yells at the crowd, who respond with a "You Suck" chant. Damon finally gets up and hits a belly to belly suplex. Damon crawls over and makes the hot tag to Affleck. Affleck is rolling when he hits a german suplex. J-Lo walks over and tosses Affleck a mike. Affleck, in the middle of the match, speaks.

Affleck- "From now on, my german suplex's will be called Boston Suplex's."

Affleck tosses the mike away and hits an interferring Chan with a spinebuster. Affleck waits for Wilson to get up as Chan begins to stir. Chan low blows Affleck and Wilson gives him a superkick. Wilson covers him. "1...2." Affleck kicks out. Damon is waiting for the tag, but Affleck is in the center of the ring. Wilson tags in Chan. Wilson picks up Affleck into a scoop slam, followed by a moonsault from Chan.

Affleck is in trouble, but J-Lo helps the crowd get behind Affleck. Affleck is showing life as the crowd is getting behind The Mass Connection. Affleck throws some elbows and finally hits a spinning clothesline that knocks down Chan. Affleck is crawling towards the ropes. The crowd is clapping as he inches closer. He makes the tag to Damon, who drills everything in sight with a clothesline.

Kimmel- "Damon is finally showing some offense."

Damon drills Chan with some right hands, then plantws him with a ddt. Wilson gets some vengeace back by hitting Damon with the Kung-Pow Chicken (Side Effect). But J-Lo gets on the ring apron and starts to shake her ass at Wilson. Wilson temporarily loses focus, and Damon gets up. J-Lo turns and slaps the taste out of Wilson's mouth. Wilson backs up into a Identity Crisis from Damon,

Affleck goes up top and hits the Devil's Dare (Five Star Frog Splash) on Chan. Damon covers Chan. "1...2...3."

Winners- The Mass Connection

Damon and Affleck slide out of the ring as J-Lo follows. They sign autographs on their way to the back.

(commercial break)

Hugh Jackman is backstage, going over a game plan with Toby McGuire.

Jackman- "O.K, but since we know that Team Old School will be out there just trying to party, we need to take advantage of them as fast as possible. So now that we got that planned out, let me introduce you to our new valet, Halle Berry.

Berry- "Hey, Hugh, how's going? Just wanted to come let you know that I'll be out there tonite to help you guys out. You never know what those crazy Old School guys will have up their sleeves.


In his Locker Room, the WCW World Heavyweight Champion Arnold Schwarzenegger is standing by with Carson Daly, set for another "CRIB CrAsH".

Carson- "Hello, ladies and gentlemen, and welcome to another edition of CRIB CrAsH. With me tonite is our WCW Champion, Arnold Schwarzenegger."

Schwarzenegger- "Let's make this quick. I've got a match to get to with that puny Ashton Kutcher."

Carson- " Well, then, let's just get this over with. Hugh Jackman?"

Schwarzenegger- "Puny."

Carson- "Apples?"

Schwarzenegger- "Healthy."

Carson- "Jim Carrey?"

Schwarzenegger- looks around. "No comment."

Carson- "Bob Saget?"

Schwarzenegger- "Hilarous."

Carson- "And, finally, Ashton Kutcher?"

Schwarzenegger- "Unprepared for the oncoming onslaught."


Kimmel- "Well, we are back here at Access Hollywood, and the next match is sure going to be something. We've got Brad Pitt and Tom Hanks going at it in a one on one match.

Conan- "But the real question is, where will DiCaprio be for this match?"

"Sweet Home Alabama" is heard as Tom Hanks makes his way to the ring. Hanks looks at the crowd as if to scan it for DiCaprio, but he is nowhere to be seen. Pitt comes down with Jennifer Aniston by his side and gets some serious heat from the crowd. Pitt flexes and finally gets ready to square off against Hanks.

Tom Hanks vs. Brad Pitt
Hanks wraps his arms around Pitt's head and takes him down with a toss. Hanks looks to end this early as he goes for a cover. "1..." kickout by Pitt. Hanks lifts him up and goes for a gorilla press, but Pitt reverses and plants Hanks with a bulldog. Pitt is seemingly in control as he goes up top for a leaping splash and connects. He covers him. "1...2." kickout by Hanks. Pitt lifts Hanks into his own gorilla press, but then drops him, only to catch him with a huge spinebuster. The crowd boos as Pitt takes time to kiss Jennifer while he waits for Hanks to get up. Pitt looks to finish this match as he prepares for a Back Stabber (Pedigree), but Hanks reverses into a GumpHandle Slam. He goes for the cover, but DiCaprio runs down the ramp and pulls Hanks out of the ring when the ref isn't watching. Jennifer turns around and bends over.
As the ref watches, Dicaprio rolls Hanks back into the ring and drills him with the DiCapitation (Sliced Bread #2). Pitt finally gets up and hits the Back Stabber as the ref counts. "1...2...3."
Winner- Brad Pitt

Pitt walks to the back with Jennifer Aniston by his side. DiCaprio grabs a mike.

DiCaprio- "Last week, Tom, you caught me with a sneakt trick. Well, it seems the joke is on you tonite. My goal, now, is to make sure you never win a match in this business. But I do want to let you know that now that I got your attention, it's going to be me and you in a match at Sitcom Slam. I hope you can make it." DiCaprio laughs as he tosses the mike. The crowd is very angry and boo loud at DiCaprio as he laughs.

Backstage, McGuire is walking with Berry and Jackman. Jackman stops and says to McGuire,

Jackman- " Wait just a second. Before we go out there tonite, let me make one thing clear. If Vin Diesel shows up tonite with my T.V. Title, he's MINE.

McGuire- "Fine by me, but since I am doing you a favor, maybe you could do one for me."

Jackman- "Sure, kid, shoot."

McGuire- "Let's change our team name to the Super Squad. It just sounds a lot cooler."

Jackman- laughs. "Whatever you say, kid."


"I Wanna Rock and Roll" by Kiss plays as Luke Wilson and Will Ferrell party at the top of the entrance ramp. Wilson has girls in each arm as Ferrell shoves the beer keg down the ramp. Party goers follow from behind with beach balls and and frisbees. They finally get to the ring. Ferrell opens up the tab and starts getting drinks for everyone when "Welcome to The Jungle" by Guns and Roses blasts through the speakers, bringing the arrival of Jackman and Berry. Jackman is wearing a fake set of claws as he runs through the fireworks and into the ring. He jumps on the top rope, and flips off his opponents with the middle claw. The fans are going biszerk as he looks out into the crowd.

Kimmel- "The fans here obviously love Jackman.

Conan- waving again. "He's not the only one."

"Hero" by Chad Kreogger plays as Toby McGuire descends from the rafters on a harness. He gets in the ring and poses on the turnbuckle. The fans cheer loud for him as well. The bell rings, and the party group plays outside the ring with beach balls and drink beer.

Tag Team Tournament QuarterFinal
Team Old School vs. Super Sqaud

McGuire starts off the match against Ferrell with a drop toe hold into a cover. "1.." Ferrell kicks out and punches away at McGuire. Ferrell whips him into the ropes and hits a huge clothesline that sends McGuire to the outside. The party gang offers McGuire a beer, but he gets back in the ring and dropkicks Ferrell in the back. Ferrell stumbles over and makes a tag to Wilson. Wilson comes into the ring and makes an impact with a devastating kick to McGuire's abdomen and a fisherman suplex. McGuire grabs the ropes so Wilson lets go. Luke brings him back to the center of the ring and starts hammering him with right hands.
McGuire manages to escape with a ddt, but Ferrell runs in and prevents him from making the tag to Jackman. Jackman tries to get Ferrell out of the ring, but the ref tells him to get back to his corner. Jackman does as Wilson recovers from the ddt and hits a spinning heel kick to McGuire. The fans are starting to get behind McGuire to make a tag. Wilson lifts him up and goes for a dropkick, but misses and nails the ref. The ref is out.

(commercial break)



We are back from the commercial break. Here's what you missed

Replay- Ferrell bulldogs McGuire; Jackman gives a Power Slam to Ferrell

Jackman, now the legal man, is firing away at Wilson with right hands. He whips Wilson into the ropes and catches him into a vertical suplex. But Ferrell hits Jackman, causing him to turn right into the Streak (The Stroke). McGuire leaps into the ring and clotheslines Ferrell out of the ring.

Meanwhile, Wilson crawls over and covers. "1...2.." Jackman kicks out!" Wilson lifts Jackman to his feet and throws him into the turnbuckle. Wilson places Jackman on the turnbuckle and begins to climb it.

Kimmel- "Looks like a superplex. Jackman is in serious trouble."

Wilson is now on the top rope and is gripping Jackman's tights. He begins to pull him up, but McGuire rushes over and clubs Wilson. Wilson falls onto McGuire's shoulders. McGuire drills Wilson with an electric chair drop. He goes for the cover. The ref is checking on Jackman as Ferrell breaks up the cover. The party goers toss Ferrell a beer and he chugs it. He seems full of energy as he irish whips McGuire into the opposite turnbuckle. He places him on the top rope and begins to climb himself.

Kimmel- "Oh my god, Ferrell is now going for a superplex himself."

Conan- "Hope this turns out better than the last one."

Ferrell has McGuire on the top rope, but suddenly spins him around the opposite way. Ferrell then does the unthinkable and hits a superplex to the outside of the ring! A "Holy Shit" chant breaks out through the crowd.

Ferrell is starting to get up and he climbs back into the ring.

Conan- sarcastically. "Ferrell is shaking it off, or maybe he's sobering up."

Ferrell is drowsy, but Jackman is up and spears the hell out Ferrell. Jackman signals for the end with as he claws out an X in the air. The fans are going nuts as Jackman hoists up Ferrell and hits the Wolf Fury. Wilson runs over and clubs Jackman in the back with a forearm. They wrestle around until they knock each other out of the ring.

McGuire is finally up, amazingly. He gets in the ring and runs over to the ropes and performs the Spider Web (Lionsault) to Ferrell in the center of the ring. He covers him. "1...2...3."
Winners- Hugh Jackman and Toby McGuire

Berry rushes into the ring and raises McGuire's hand high in the air. They motion for Jackman to join them, but something else has got his attention.

Standing at the top of the ramp is Vin Diesel, holding the T.V. Title high in the air.

Kimmel- "Things are about to explode!"

Jackman and Diesel. Staring down. With only the crowd in between them.

______In his Locker Room, Ashton is talking to Demi tonite. He tells her to stay in the locker room because Schwarzenegger is a dangerous man. Demi agrees as suddenly, Schwarzenegger himself walks in.

Schwarzenegger- "Easy, son, I am not here to hurt you. I just wanted to let you know that I talked with Mr. Hollywood and he said that our match is a No DQ match."

Ashton- "Fine, but I want it to be for the title."

Schwarzenegger- "Yu think yu can beat me. HAHAHAHA." looks at him seriously. "You're ON!"

As we go back to ringside, Kimmel is waiting for a hot dog from a vendor.

Conan- "Well, it's looks like we got ourselves a real match now. Schwarzenegger/ Kutcher- No DQ for the WCW Title. And here we go."

Metallica's "St. Anger" pops through the speakers as the fans go nuts for Ashton Kutcher. Kutcher walks down the aisle and gets into the ring. He poses as the millions of cameras go off. But he has little time as Kid Rocks "Bawithdaba" rocks the house, bringing out Schwarzenegger on his motorcycle. He rides it down as the fans respond with insults and curses. Schwarzenegger gets on the ring apron and poses with the belt. The bell ring as the ref lifts the belt out of the ring.

No DQ for the WCW Heavyweight Championship
Arnold Schwarzenegger {c} vs. Ashton Kutcher

Schwarzenegger immediately runs at Kutcher and locks him in a front face lock. He doesn't hold it on for long as he drills him with a release german suplex. Schwarzenegger is in control as he clotheslines Ashton to the outside. Arnold crawls out of the ring and picks up a steel chair near the announce table. He walks over to Kutcher, who just stood up. He swings, but Kutcher ducks and counters it into a ddt.

Kutcher picks up the chair and hits Schwarzenegger in the back with it. Then again. And again. Three vicious chair shots to Arnold's back. Ashton brings Schwarzenegger to his feet. He throws him into the steel ring post. Schwarzenegger is grabbing his back, hurting from the solid steel. Ashton grabs him again and goes for another throw into the post, but Schwarzenegger reverses and throws him into the steel steps. Both men are down.

Kimmel- "We'll be right back after this last commercial break."


We are back in action as Schwarzenegger is ramming Ashton's face into the steel steps.

During the break- Both men take each other out with a double clothesline into the crowd.

Schwarzenegger tosses Ashton back into the ring. He goes for a cover. "1...2.." kickout by Ashton. Schwarzenegger is determined though, as he starts up again with a vertical suplex. He lifts him up again and hits a shoulder breaker. Ashton is wobbly as Schwarzenegger locks in a bearhug. Ashton is in real trouble now. He takes some steps towards the ropes, but Arnold just pulls him back. Arnold begins to violently shake him. But the crowd is rising to their feet, clapping and trying to bring Ashton back to life somewhat.

Ashton starts to throw elbows. He's loosening the grip. He escapes with another elbow and runs off the ropes. He dodges a clothesline and hits a spinning heel kick that knocks Schwarzenegger to the outside. Ashton slides out, but Schwarzenegger hits a low blow. Ashton is in trouble as Schwarzenegger picks up the chair. He blasts Ashton in the head with a vile shot to the skull.

Kimmel- "Ashton may soon get a bed right next to Reeves in the hospital."

Schwarzenegger lifts Ashton up again and is about to roll him into the ring, but he he drops him and reaches under the ring. He drags out a table and sets it up. The crowd is booing loudly as Schwarzenegger lifts up Ashton for the TERMINATOR.

Suddenly, "St. Anger" by Metallica hits again as the crowd looks at the entrance ramp. Schwarzenegger drops Ashton. He notices his motorcycle is gone. Then, at the top of the ramp, is Danny Masterson, sitting on Schwarzenegger's motorcycle. Schwarzenegger is furious as Masterson rides it down the ramp full speed and nails him with a hellacious clothesline.

Conan- "Masterson is here to help Kutcher!"

Masterson rolls Schwarzenegger on the table. He stands there as suddenly, Wilmer Vanderell, jumps over the barricade and climbs on the top rope. He poses for a second as a million cameras go off. Then he leaps off and delivers a devastating Candy Missile (Swanton Bomb) through the table!

Masterson rolls Schwarzenegger into the ring and stands him up. Masterson flips off Schwarzenegger and gives him the Mega Burn (Edgacution). The fans are going nuts as Ashton gets back in the ring, fire in his eyes. Masterson takes Schwarzenegger into the opposite corner.

Kimmel- "Arnold is in major trouble now. Kutcher is kicking his ass!"

Masterson whips Schwarzenegger right into a devastating Ultimate PUNK (Sweet Chin Music). Ashton covers him. "1......2.......3!"

Winner and NEW WCW CHAMPION- Ashton Kutcher


Kutcher pulls the belt around his waist as Masterson and Vanderell grab the beers. They toast in the middle of the ring and down the beers. They raise their arms in triumph as the roof is about to EXPLODE with cheers. The fans can't get enough. They pose on the turnbuckles as the show fades to black.

(end show)

847 Posts
What in the blue hell is wrong with you??? We're talking about wrestling not Hollywood stars making more money with the silliest thing I've ever heard of. After wasting 5 minutes of my time reading some of this, I say to Know Your Role and Shut Your Mouth! You're Not Better Than Me! You're not Better than anybody here! If celebrities wrestled they would suck it's been proven in WCW. I'd give you 1/10 because Jay Leno was in there but you didn't do anything with him really. This is the worst idea since Katie Vick/Kane!
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