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TNA: COME AT ME BROTHER!

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TNA: CUM AT ME BROTHER!

Note: My last BTB ended two months ago and this isnt a copy on Rawlin's WWE thread but a TNA version. I am being as serious here as I can be with a TNA BTB.

Backstory: TNA sucks and copies WWE way too much so Vince Russo, Eric Bischoff and Dixie Fuckhead got fired. Some other people got fired but nobody really cared about them. Jeff Jarret then hired some Jew named Mike J Caboose to run TNA.
This BTB starts April 1st 2011.



Mike J Caboose's blog said:
TNA Impact is now going to be live every Thursday because everyone kept reading spoilers. Many TNA fans are upset that our former wrestler Sting has left us for WWE. There was nothing we could do about it. But look on the bright side. WWE may have Sting but we have this guy:






Also, no more TNA Explosion and the TNA Knockouts Tag Belts are stupid and nobody liked them so they aren't going to be belts anymore.










Roster:

Male:

Abyss: Heel (deadish I think)
AJ Styles: Face
Alex Shelly: Face
Amazing Blue: Face (Amazing Red needed a new gimmick)
Brother Gay: Face (brother ray's new gimmick)
Brother Gay-Von: Face (brother d-vons new gimmick)
Chris Sabin: Face
Crimson: Face
D'Angelo Dinero: Heel
Eric Young: Face
Hulk Hogan: Heel
James Storm: Face
Jay Lethal: Face
Jeff Hardy: Heel
Jeff Jarret: Heel
Jeremy *uck: Heel (Jeremy Buck's new gimmick)
Kazarian: Face
Kurt Angle: Face
Matt Hardy: Heel (new gimmick where is is obsessed with grapes and secretly hides weed in the grapes)
Max *uck: Heel (Max Buck's new gimmick)
Mr. Anderson: Face i think
Petey the Panda: Tweener
Orlando Jordan: Face
Ric Flair: Heel
Robert Roode: Face
Rob Van Dam: Face
Suicide: Face
The Human Steroid: Heel (scott steiner)
Tommy Dreamer: Face

Females:

Angelina Hate: Heel (Angelina Loves new gimmick)
Madison Rayne: Heel
Mickie James: Face
Sarita: Heel
Spring: Face (Winter's new gimmick)
Tara: Heel
Velvet Sky: Face


Teams:

Motor City Machine Guns: Sabin and Shelly
The Young *ucks: Max and Jeremy *uck
Team 3D: Brother Gay and Brother Gay-Von (became friends again after having a live sex celebration on Impact)
Young and Flair: Eric Youing and Ric Flair
Beer Money: James Storm and Robert Roode
Hardys: Matt and Jeff Hardy


Stables:

None as of now

Titles:

TNA World Heavyweight Championship: Petey the Panda
TNA X-Division Championship: Kazarian
TNA Tag Team Championship: Young and Flair
TNA TV Title: MattHhardy
TNA Knockouts Championship: Angelina Hate



Commentary Team: Taz and Mike Tenay
Interviewer: Christy Hemme
Authority Figure: Mike J Caboose


PAY PER VIEWS:

March 27: Victory Road
April 24: Lockdown
May 15: Sacrifice
June 12: Slammiversary
July 3: Destination X
July 31: HardCore Justice
August 28: No Surrender
September 25: Bound for Glory
October 23: Turning Point
November 20: Final Resolution

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· Registered
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The only funny part was Scott Steiner being called The Human Steriod, even then, that's probably not original. P.S It should have been Scott Steriods.
 

· Banned
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Discussion Starter · #6 · (Edited)
Yeah, this isn't funny. It just seems like a lame copy. Do you actually want this to stay open?
yes i want it to stay open and the only part i was trying to be funny on was the not having sting part, instead having Orlando Jordan. i am trying to rebuild TNA in this btb. It will be a serious thread.











The new TNA president has announced the two main event for Impact! this week:

Jeff Hardy vs Mr. Anderson

Rob Van Dam vs Matt Hardy

The winners of those two matches will face each other on the next weeks Impact! where the winner will be the new TNA World Heavyweight Champion.

Caboose also said that there will be an update on Sting and if Abyss is alive or not because that whole storyline didn't really make much sense because he was dead but still the champ and was he really dead or was it all just an injury; the whole storyline was just very dumb and confusing so Caboose is just going to clear things up.

There is also a chance that Hulk hogan might be there but he might not because he says he will but then is just a no show and it gets very confusing. He probably will be there but if he isn't don't be too sad.

Ric Flair will also be there and he will actually do stuff.
 

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Discussion Starter · #7 ·
****TNA Intro Song****

Mike Tenay: Hello everybody and welcome to another episode of TNA Impact!. This is real wrestling!

Taz:
Calm ya tits Mike.

Mike Tenay:
I can’t Taz, they are so wild!

Taz: Want me to rub um.

Mike Tenay: No thanks

****Another Me****


Mike Tenay: What the hell is Jeff Hardy doing in the Impact! Zone?

Jeff Hardy comes out smoking weed.

Jeff Hardy: I am Jeff Nero Hardy. I am the super charismatic enigma.

****Feedback****

Mr. Anderson: I am an Asshole and you all are Asshole’s and everything is a big juicy Asshole, yummy, yummy, and yummy.

****Running with the Bulls****

Eric Bischoff:
I have an idea that will make everyone happy including the network. Tonight, we will have a golden asshole on a pole match for the world heavyweight championship. In it will be Mr. Anderson and Jeff Hardy who oddly just got hard in his pants.

****The Whole F***in Show****


RVD comes out smoking some weed.

Rob Van Dam: Wait just one minute maaaaaaaaaan. I want into this match. I am willing to put my weed stash on the line to get in on the match.

Eric Bischoff: Okay Rob, you are in the match. Also, while we are at it, let’s put Kurt Angle in the match and the special guest enforcer will be Petey the Panda.

****nWo Original Theme****

The crowd is in awe as they think Hogan is coming out until this guy comes out:



The baby pulls down his pants and moons everybody.

Mr. Anderson:
Now that is an asshole.

****Commercial****

When it gets back from commercial Eric Bischoff is in the ring.

Eric Bischoff: I have decided that the Young *ucks are very lame so the new tag team champs are going to come out now.

Orlando Jordan and Eric Young come out with the tag belts. Out of nowhere, Ric Flair runs behind Jordan and gives him a testicular claw. Jordan falls down and is knocked out but is smiling. Flair grabs his tag team championship and kisses Young.

Ric Flair: Next week, me and my new tag team partner, Eric Young are gonna have a live sex celebration. WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

Taz:
Da fuck was that?

The crowd starts chanting:
This is wrestling! This is wrestling!

****Backstage****

AJ Styles is getting a BJ from Mickie James and he sees the cameraman.

AJ Styles:
Get the fuck out of my locker-room.

The cameraman runs off as we hear Styles in the background.

AJ Styles: Oh yeah, oh yeah, oh yeah. You like it, you like it, YOU FUCKING LIKE IT!

****Loaded****

Announcer: Cuming while approaching the ring, weighing in at really fat, Fat Lardy… I mean Matt Hardy!

Hardy cums while walking to the ring and he is eating a lot of grapes also.

****Blue Remix****


Announcer:
Approaching the ring, weighing in at a lot less than Hardy, the man formerly known as Amazing Red, the TV Title, Amazing Blue!

Match #1: TNA TV Championship: Matt Hardy vs Amazing Blue
Match Summary: The match is fast paced and has some lame moments that were supposed to look cool. For example, Amazing Blue dives off the top of the turnbuckle onto Hardy but Hardy Twist of Hate’s him but Hardy botched it and it looked more like a stunner than a Twist of Hate. It ended though when Hardy squeezed grape juice into Blue’s eye and then hit him with a Twist of Hate.
Winner: Matt Hardy

Announcer:
Your winner and the new TV Champ, Matt “Coldblood” Hardy!

Taz: Oh my gawd, Hardy just won da TV Title! My gawd!

Mike Tenay: I know Taz, the crowd is going crazy!

(Not much reaction from the crowd)

After the match, Suicide runs out and hits a DDT on Hardy.

Taz:
What the hell is Suicide doing in the Impact! Zone?​




Mike Tenay: I don’t know what’s going on!

Backstage

The camera shows Jeff Hardy talking to some guy dressed as CM Punk.

Jeff Hardy: I hate you Punk.

CM Punk:
I am stupid

Jeff Hardy: Yes you are.

CM Punk: I am very lame and dull and boring.

Jeff Hardy takes out a beer.

Jeff Hardy: Drink it Punk!

CM Punk: Okay King Hardy. I will do anything you say because you are cool and I suck.

Jeff Hardy: Now if only the real Punk was like this maybe we would be bestest friendies.

Jay Lethal’s song starts playing as he comes out. The ring announcer left the arena so nobody announces Lethal. Kazarian’s song starts playing after Lethal gets into the ring and Kaz runs to the ring.

Match #2: Kazarian vs Jay Lethal
Match Summary: The match is slow paced and the crowd doesn’t care about it. Nothing happens that is cool and eventually Lethal gets bored and lies down for Kaz to pin him.
Winner: Kazarian

Taz: Oh my gawd Mike! What a huge win for Kaz!

Mike Tenay:
I know Taz; that was one of the best matches ever!

Jeff Jarrett comes out.

Jeff Jarrett: I am here to announce my retirement from TNA because this company really sucks. We are just completely horrible and my dream of running a promotion was ruined. I am going to kill myself now, goodbye.

Backstage

Mr. Anderson: I am an Asshole! I am such an Asshole! I am a super Asshole!

Rob Van Dam: Calm down maaaaaaan. Have some of this pot I got. Pot and got rhyme, hahahaha.

Mr. Anderson: Shut up Asshole!

Rob Van Dam:
Why do you call people Assholes? Do you have an addiction to Assholes?

Mr. Anderson:
My mom died when I was 3. When I was 7 years old my daddy left home and never came back. I was living on the streets begging for food and money. I begged for food and care. I begged for food and love. I had no food and was living in a box. I eventually had to eat my own shit right out of my Asshole. That is why I am obsessed with them.

Rob Van Dam: Kk koolio bro.

Mr. Anderson:
Kk koolio Asshole bro, I mean brohole.

We go back to the ring where Madison Rayne and Velvet Sky are waiting to have a match.

Taz: Look at them Mike! They are letting the birdies fly! Wow!

Mike Tenay: Letting the birdies fly?

Taz: Yeah! I say somethin retarded like that every week but nobody ever knows what it means! I also talk loudly!

Match #3: Madison Rayne vs Velvet Sky
Match Summary: Who cares, its female wrestling.
Winner: Velvet Sky

Backstage

The cameraman is filming AJ Styles fucking Mickie James

AJ Styles: You like it. You like it oh. You like it. You like it oh. I wish I could fuck all the girls in the world. I wish I could fuck all the girls in the world. You like it. You like it oh.

Taz:
What the hell is this?

The cameraman runs away

Jeff Jarrett comes to the ring.

Jeff Jarrett:I'm back bitches! Hey everybody. I’m double J and I like to MMA. I can rhyme all the time. I’m better than John Cena and my name ain’t Tina. I am more awesome than the Miz and I like to Jiz. I’m electrifying and I’m not dying. I just owned the WWE because I’m Jeff Jarrett and you can’t see me because Jeff Jarrett said so and that’s the bottom line and in the main event, Kurt Angle has no chance in hell!

The crowd starts to chant, “This is wrestling!”

Taz: What the hell is going on here on Impact!!

Mike Tenay:
Who cares!

AJ Styles’ music plays followed by Mick Foley’s.

Match #4: AJ Styles vs Mick Foley
Match Summary: The match was a lot of fast paced action and cool spots at the beginning until Mickie James comes out naked! AJ Styles runs to Mickie and then start to have sex in the ring. SWERVE! Mickie DDT’s Styles and Foley goes for the pin but it is unsuccessful. DOUBLE SWERVE! James attacks Foley! TRIPLE SWERVE! Jeff Jarrett comes out and attacks Mickie James! SWERVE AGAIN! Jarrett attacks Mickie James! SWERVE AGAIN AGAIN! Taz runs into the ring and rapes Jarrett! SWERVE AGAIN AGAIN AGAIN! Ric Flair comes out humping Eric Young! Eventually after a lot of more swerves, the fans start booing and the TNA wrestlers go away.
Winner: Nobody

Backstage

We see the Bear that will be the enforcer, getting ready for his debut. He then cuts a promo in bear language that gets the fans excited. This goes on for 15 minutes.

After the bear promo, we see Hardy, Anderson, Angle and RVD IN THE RING. The bear comes out.

Match #5: Jeff Hardy vs Mr. Anderson vs Kurt Angle vs RVD with a bear as the enforcer in a golden Asshole on a pole match
Match Summary: The match begins with everybody attacking each other for a while. After like a couple of minutes, Anderson hits a Mic Check on Hardy. Angle then hits an Angle Slam on Anderson and RVD is smocking weed in the corner. After a few more minutes the bear comes into the ring and attacks everyone. The bear starts to dominate the match. The bear hits a Twist of Hate on Hardy and a Superkick on RVD. While everybody is down the bear grabs the golden asshole from the pole to win the championship!
Winner: Bear

Taz: Oh my gawd! A bear is the new TNA World Heavyweight Championship!

Bear: Grrrrrrrrrr GGGrrrrrrr Grrrrrr Grrrrr!

As Impact! Ends the crowd goes wild cheering for the bear while chanting, “This is wrestling”. Impact! ends with the crowd going home happy.​
 

· Crazier than Santorum and Bachmann's love child
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It all makes sense now. That pimp AJ Styles fucked your cat and gave him herpes. 10/10.
 

· DAVID OTUNGA's Personal Assistant
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i'm going to be honest here cab00se.....this isn't really a BTB.

i mean, i guess it is, because you ARE actually booking stuff, but it's really just you typing out a bunch of fuck stories. i mean, there are fantasy forums for that man. trying to tell someone that you're going to take a BTB seriously, then having someone fucking people throughout the show, that just doesn't make much sense. i know i'm a horrible authority when it comes to proper BTB's, but i feel like if anything is disgracing the section, it's this. i just feel like, no matter how stupid it may be, there should at least be some small shred of realism in your BTB, and there's no realism here. it's people fucking or sucking each other off, and then weird jokes in between.

i'll be completely honest, i did laugh. but not really because it was funny. moreso because it was so awful i just had to laugh. i don't even know where you came up with this idea to make this a BTB, but i really hope it wasn't from me, cuz that kind makes me look bad in return.

whatever, you can do what you want, but i'd seriously advise trying a different direction next show. good luck pal.
 

· FORZA AC MILAN
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i'm going to be honest here cab00se.....this isn't really a BTB.

i mean, i guess it is, because you ARE actually booking stuff, but it's really just you typing out a bunch of fuck stories. i mean, there are fantasy forums for that man. trying to tell someone that you're going to take a BTB seriously, then having someone fucking people throughout the show, that just doesn't make much sense. i know i'm a horrible authority when it comes to proper BTB's, but i feel like if anything is disgracing the section, it's this. i just feel like, no matter how stupid it may be, there should at least be some small shred of realism in your BTB, and there's no realism here. it's people fucking or sucking each other off, and then weird jokes in between.

i'll be completely honest, i did laugh. but not really because it was funny. moreso because it was so awful i just had to laugh. i don't even know where you came up with this idea to make this a BTB, but i really hope it wasn't from me, cuz that kind makes me look bad in return.

whatever, you can do what you want, but i'd seriously advise trying a different direction next show. good luck pal.
I found this funnier than Rawlin's one, but I do agree with him that if you do more shows you should take this in a different direction.
 

· FORZA AC MILAN
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Yeah this wasn't really funny. Just a TNA version of Rawlin's thread without the lolz. fpalm.
‘Yeah’? Who are you agreeing with? Your invisible friend? Your f’n sex doll? Certainly wasn’t either of the posters who commented before you.


Yeah, sorry, bro. Really wasn't all that funny. It was actually fairly shit.

Don't listen to Reney though, it's still better than anything he's ever posted. 8*D

Edit - on second thoughts, it's shitter than that, which is pretty DAMN bad.
lol he makes an edit disclaimer, what a pussy. Next time just post the joke, not that it was funny anyway.
 

· hello
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I can say "yeah" if I want to, much like I can say this isn't funny if I want to, coz to alot of people, it's not. The reactions in the chatbox earlier more than back me up on this, nobody found it amusing at all. It's a total joke of a BTB, in no way funny at all.

I suggest you deal with it and get on with your life, instead of trying to act like a hard ass and getting all upset coz we don't find this shit funny. WHATCHA GONNA DO BROTHER?
 

· FORZA AC MILAN
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Well I was talking to some people in this chatbox on another forum, and they all said it was funny. I’m not saying you found it funny, because different people have different senses of humour. There are comedy shows that I don’t find funny at all that people tell me are hilarious, and vice versa. So you can say it's not funny if you want, just don't be a little bitch about it. Come at me bro.......ther.
 

· DAVID OTUNGA's Personal Assistant
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‘Yeah’? Who are you agreeing with? Your invisible friend? Your f’n sex doll? Certainly wasn’t either of the posters who commented before you.

lol he makes an edit disclaimer, what a pussy. Next time just post the joke, not that it was funny anyway.
really dude? come on. this isn't your thread, and trying to start some random argument with everyone who reviews it is pretty stupid and will just derail it, which isn't really fair to cab00se if he does want to continue.

just give your review, and let it be. no reason to hop on everyone elses opinion and say stupid shit. you even had to double post for some reason just to get your point across, but the only part that was really needed was your first post. let's just try and handle this situation better so his BTB doesn't turn into three pages of people fucking arguing like mine did, because i know he'd find that annoying, because anyone would.

lets just all hug it out.
 

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Discussion Starter · #20 ·
for all of you that are saying it sucks that is your opinion and i am totally fine with it. if you look at TNA over the last few months you will see that my btb is similar to how TNA actually runs there shows. I wasn't going to even continue with this btb cuz i had a new one i was going to post but Rawlin and Hiplop wanted me to continue with this thread. If you don't like it don't read it and if you did enjoy it then don't get pissed at the [people who didn't like it.

Can't we all be friends bro's
 
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