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Banned
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187 Posts
Discussion Starter #1 (Edited)
Once again, Hollywood Johnson is in the house and that can only mean one thing. Top class rants poppin, shitty rants stoppin, so sit back relax with a bottle of stella, because this is the one and only Hollywood Johnson, your top fella.

Rules when posting in a Hollywood Johnson rant
No dumb comments
No racism
NO GARY OAK PICTURES
NO UNFUNNY OTUNGA PICTURES.
No mentioning the word girth

Tips for posting in a Hollywood Johnson rant
Use humor
Respect other fellas opinions
Read the rant carefully, taking everything into consideration
Be the best possible fella you can


The rant...

My name is Hollywood Johnson, but you already know that. Yesterday, i suffered the ultimate betrayal from, yes you guessed it! One of my top fellas! This fella has a girlfriend right, which i have no problem with. But the thing that pisses me off about this fella is the fact that he's whipped. His girl has him on a tight leash. I asked this fella if he wanted to come out for a few drinks with myself, Hollywood Johnson hehe, and a few other fellas. He said yes. I told him the time and location, my house, 7pm sharp. It gets to 7:01, and fella number 1 turns up. 7:04, fella 2 turns up. 7:07, fella 3 turns up. By this time, we were waiting for 1 more fella, the whipped piece of trash this rant is dedicated to. It gets to 7:18, and still no sign. I give the fella a ring on my brand new Hollywood Iphone. No answer. 6 minutes later, i give him another ring, and again, no answer. 15 minutes later, the fella calls me up and tells me he's not coming now because he's picked up a tummy bug.

So me and my fellas decided to get into my Hollywood Jaguar, and take a drive approx 1 mile down the road to his house to see what this fella was really up to. His mother was standing in the kitchen, but shes blind so it wasn't hard to sneak past her. Using my outstanding agility, i climbed over his wall and into his garden, and saw something that chilled me. There he was, in his livingroom, with his girlfriend, looking as good as new. I returned home furious.

Now this isn't the first time this fella has done this to me. Theres been other occassions where he's just not bothered turning up. How many times will this fella take me for a mug! I've raised this fella to be one of us, but he's thrown it back in my face. This fella i can assure you, is no longer my top fella. I decided to drink of my sorrows that same night by drinking a bottle of Hollywood rum. But don't worry guys. Your top fella Hollywood Johnson will stay strong through these hard times. Sticks and stones will break my bones, but betrayals will never hurt me. No one, and i mean no one, will ever, bring down Hollywood Johnson.

Thank you for reading another one of my top class rants

Love from your top fella, Hollywood Johnson
 

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Is a Snit Head
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22,166 Posts
Please stop making rants. Until you stop making rants I won't read any of your rants. I will begin to read all new rants you make once you stop making rants.
 

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Banned
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187 Posts
Discussion Starter #5
Please re read the rules before posting on a Hollywood Johnson rant, thanks.

Love from your top fella, Hollywood Johnson
 

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Banned
Joined
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15,929 Posts
Once again, Hollywood Johnson is in the house and that can only mean one thing. Top class rants poppin, shitty rants stoppin, so sit back relax with a bottle of stella, because this is the one and only Hollywood Johnson, your top fella.

Rules when posting in a Hollywood Johnson rant
No dumb comments
No racism
NO GARY OAK PICTURES
NO UNFUNNY OTUNGA PICTURES.
No mentioning the word girth

Tips for posting in a Hollywood Johnson rant
Use humor
Respect other fellas opinions
Read the rant carefully, taking everything into consideration
Be the best possible fella you can


The rant...

My name is Hollywood Johnson, but you already know that. Yesterday, i suffered the ultimate betrayal from, yes you guessed it! One of my top fellas! This fella has a girlfriend right, which i have no problem with. But the thing that pisses me off about this fella is the fact that he's whipped. His girl has him on a tight leash. I asked this fella if he wanted to come out for a few drinks with myself, Hollywood Johnson hehe, and a few other fellas. He said yes. I told him the time and location, my house, 7pm sharp. It gets to 7:01, and fella number 1 turns up. 7:04, fella 2 turns up. 7:07, fella 3 turns up. By this time, we were waiting for 1 more fella, the whipped piece of trash this rant is dedicated to. It gets to 7:18, and still no sign. I give the fella a ring on my brand new Hollywood Iphone. No answer. 6 minutes later, i give him another ring, and again, no answer. 15 minutes later, the fella calls me up and tells me he's not coming now because he's picked up a tummy bug.

So me and my fellas decided to get into my Hollywood Jaguar, and take a drive approx 1 mile down the road to his house to see what this fella was really up to. His mother was standing in the kitchen, but shes blind so it wasn't hard to sneak past her. Using my outstanding agility, i climbed over his wall and into his garden, and saw something that chilled me. There he was, in his livingroom, with his girlfriend, looking as good as new. I returned home furious.

Now this isn't the first time this fella has done this to me. Theres been other occassions where he's just not bothered turning up. How many times will this fella take me for a mug! I've raised this fella to be one of us, but he's thrown it back in my face. This fella i can assure you, is no longer my top fella. I decided to drink of my sorrows that same night by drinking a bottle of Hollywood rum. But don't worry guys. Your top fella Hollywood Johnson will stay strong through these hard times. Sticks and stones will break my bones, but betrayals will never hurt me. No one, and i mean no one, will ever, bring down Hollywood Johnson.

Love from your top fella, Hollywood Johnson
 

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Banned
Joined
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9,124 Posts
The highlight of this thread was lic05's post. I doubt it will get any better, well, because it's Hollywood Johnson's thread. And he is a kunt. WITH A "K".
 

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DAVID OTUNGA's Personal Assistant
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9,747 Posts
 

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187 Posts
Discussion Starter #16
The highlight of this thread was lic05's post. I doubt it will get any better, well, because it's Hollywood Johnson's thread. And he is a kunt. WITH A "K".
Judging by your facebook pictures, you're an even bigger .... fella. But you're still one of my fellas :D

Love from your top fella, Hollywood Johnson
 
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The highlight of this thread was lic05's post. I doubt it will get any better, well, because it's Hollywood Johnson's thread. And he is a kunt. WITH A "K".
Ugh, them. They're the worst kind.
 
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