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The Joke Thread

2453 Views 29 Replies 18 Participants Last post by  Myers, 
SheamusO'Shaunessy
It's just like Rate the song above thread. Only with jokes.


I'll start:
*This guy, Tom, was in debt to a bartender. So he went to him:
"Hey man, is there anything I can do so I don't owe you anymore?"
The bartender thinks.
"Ok, here is what you do:
1.You drink 20 beers, WITHOUT PASSING OUT

2.You fight the rabid dog outside

3.You f**k my 98 year old Mother"

Tom thinks a little.
"Ok, I'll do it"
He starts with the beers. One by one, he drinks em all, without passing out.
"Ok, good, Tom, now the dog."
Tom goes outside.
Vicious screams and howls are heard, but then, Tom returns.
"Ok, I'm done, now where's this old lady I have to fight?"*
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sesel
I'll always tell this to my friends.

There's a nun coming down the street and a drunk guy spots her. He runs to her and lands a punch to her face, and another and keeps hitting the poor nun until she's down on the floor. So he looks at her and says:

"I expected more from you,Batman!"
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sesel
Another drunk guy finds a lamp. He rubs it and a genius appear. He then ask for a good bottle of whisky that never ends. The genius gives him the bottle and he starts to drink.

"Oh, man that's good"

"You still have two wishes"

"Well, give me two more of this!"
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sesel
Punk's #1 Fan said:
Genius lol. Not trying to be mean or anything, but I think u meant "Genie" or "Geanie" as in like the one from Aladin, Genuis is a really smart person.
Click to expand...


Thanks! I made a mistake maybe because in portuguese the same word can be used for a smart person or the magic one....
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sesel
So there are three guys lost and far away from home and they find a magic lamp and a genie pops out of it

And they have I wish for each one.

The first says: "Send me home! and he appears at home

The second one says: "Send me home too" and he appears at home

The last one says: " I feel so lonely without them! Bring my friends back!"
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sesel
Two friends are drinking at the bar and one says: " Let's go out and bang some prostitutes"

They leave and one them pass out, so the other guy decide to take him home instead of going to the prostitutes.

The guy rings the door bell and the other one return to consciousness, when the door opens, he says:


"Man, what a disgusting whore!"

So ashamed, the other one replies:
"Dude, it's not a whore, it's my mother!"

"Oh sorry, dude, I'll bang her in name of our friendship!"
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