Joined
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853 Posts
Thank you TNA. I've caught snippets of Impact this year and certain matches suggested by friends and other users on this forum. I used to go to quite a few shows at the old Impact Zone in 2004-2005 with friends. I had the pleasure of being there live for Unbreakable 2005 and the now-classic Joe/AJ/Daniels match. I actually took my gf at the time - she didn't like wrestling, but was a dance major and appreciated the aesthetics and movement, and she :mark:'ed the fuck out.
With that being said, thank you TNA. Thank you for showing in a concise 3 hour PPV that I don't need to watch your product for at least another year. I could've tried middling through some Impacts, and think "Maybe this just isn't a good Impact tonight?" I could have caught a PPV before that and wondered "Maybe there was something with the booking, or that it was rushed?" But no. In every match, every segment, there was something wrong. I'm going to jump around a bit from memory:
1) Why in the hell was Kurt Angle's tongue blue during his HOF promo? If this were a random Impact promo, I wouldn't care, but this is the biggest PPV of the year, in a poignant and heartfelt Hall of Fame promo. Do they really have no one in the back doing some quality control? Also, why is Sting - a guy set to wrestle a big match not an hour later - inducting him? Was there really no one else? And really? HOF for guys who are still wrestling? Every other HOF is for guys after they retire. Couldn't do Jeff Jarrett? But I digress...
2) That Ultimate X match was sorry. Ladders? OK. I mean, it flies in the face of the point of the damn thing, but I get it: Can't have Jeff Hardy old man'ing it on monkey bars, but then, it really isn't an Ultimate X match then, so much as a ladder match. And nothing about that finish was PPV worthy. No kiss, no suggestiveness, didn't take or give a bump. Its a stale finish that's been used 145104985719357 times to start/continue a TV feud. Nothing about it was innovative, new, or fresh - not even a memorable jostle for the title at the top of the ladder. Jeff even had to haphazardly turn them around at the last second as Sabin was getting in. "I'm callin' Botchamania on that shit!"
3) Roode v. Angle is about the most over-rated match I've seen. This is where I wanted to stop. The first 3 minutes of the match featured Roode straight up out-wrestling Angle on the mat. Yeah, Gold-Medal winner Kurt Angle. Three times Roode got the better of Angle, and he wasn't even doing anything extraordinary! Lockup; hammerlock; around the world; takedown. Lockup; go-behind; collegiate takedown; spin around. :fpalm It's just so totally the wrong way to work the beginning. Roode's accomplishment should've been that he "hung" with Angle on the mat, and maybe surprised him with a couple tricks. Instead? Nope. Roode hits all the elementary chain-wrestling spots, in order, to Kurt Angle who was apparently suffering from amnesia. In kayfabe, I have never seen his opponent get such routine mat wrestling on him without any struggle. It was bad. Really bad. Insulting even. Parts of the match were OK - some transitions into/out of the ankle-lock/crossface were nice, but nothing I haven't seen Benoit do 10 years ago. Again, there was almost nothing fresh, nothing new except the finish. And oh boy that finish.
4)Broman's. Look, you want to make it a comedy thing? Go for it. You want them to get serious? Go for it. But this in-between crap where at the drop of a dime, for no apparent reason, they decide to go from comedy mode to serious mode is laughable. I can't take dude seriously fighting for a finish when his gelled blow-out has started to come undone and half is hanging down, while the other half is sticking straight out on the sides like he's fucking Heihachi from Tekken. Then they want to be funny at the end with the protein shakes. None of those spots, individually, are bad. I want to stress that. It's that there's no cohesion, no continuity from one to the other.
5) The Diva's match was so-so. Best thing I could say about the show was the powerbomb by Tapa. That shit looked owie. Girl did not want that. Gail looked like she was next, then wasn't, and that was that. Ok, I guess. I didn't see the angle/relationship between Gail and Tapa - Henchman? Bodyguard? Lover? Protector? Tapa sparing Gail because she thinks she can beat her? IDK, and I'm not watching any further to find out.
It was a really lame show. It's easy to rip on TNA, and I normally would refrain, but that shit was atrocious. It's like they look at their feet, decide they don't need both, take out a gun and shoot one. Simply cannot get out of their own way, even during their biggest PPV of the year.
With that being said, thank you TNA. Thank you for showing in a concise 3 hour PPV that I don't need to watch your product for at least another year. I could've tried middling through some Impacts, and think "Maybe this just isn't a good Impact tonight?" I could have caught a PPV before that and wondered "Maybe there was something with the booking, or that it was rushed?" But no. In every match, every segment, there was something wrong. I'm going to jump around a bit from memory:
1) Why in the hell was Kurt Angle's tongue blue during his HOF promo? If this were a random Impact promo, I wouldn't care, but this is the biggest PPV of the year, in a poignant and heartfelt Hall of Fame promo. Do they really have no one in the back doing some quality control? Also, why is Sting - a guy set to wrestle a big match not an hour later - inducting him? Was there really no one else? And really? HOF for guys who are still wrestling? Every other HOF is for guys after they retire. Couldn't do Jeff Jarrett? But I digress...
2) That Ultimate X match was sorry. Ladders? OK. I mean, it flies in the face of the point of the damn thing, but I get it: Can't have Jeff Hardy old man'ing it on monkey bars, but then, it really isn't an Ultimate X match then, so much as a ladder match. And nothing about that finish was PPV worthy. No kiss, no suggestiveness, didn't take or give a bump. Its a stale finish that's been used 145104985719357 times to start/continue a TV feud. Nothing about it was innovative, new, or fresh - not even a memorable jostle for the title at the top of the ladder. Jeff even had to haphazardly turn them around at the last second as Sabin was getting in. "I'm callin' Botchamania on that shit!"
3) Roode v. Angle is about the most over-rated match I've seen. This is where I wanted to stop. The first 3 minutes of the match featured Roode straight up out-wrestling Angle on the mat. Yeah, Gold-Medal winner Kurt Angle. Three times Roode got the better of Angle, and he wasn't even doing anything extraordinary! Lockup; hammerlock; around the world; takedown. Lockup; go-behind; collegiate takedown; spin around. :fpalm It's just so totally the wrong way to work the beginning. Roode's accomplishment should've been that he "hung" with Angle on the mat, and maybe surprised him with a couple tricks. Instead? Nope. Roode hits all the elementary chain-wrestling spots, in order, to Kurt Angle who was apparently suffering from amnesia. In kayfabe, I have never seen his opponent get such routine mat wrestling on him without any struggle. It was bad. Really bad. Insulting even. Parts of the match were OK - some transitions into/out of the ankle-lock/crossface were nice, but nothing I haven't seen Benoit do 10 years ago. Again, there was almost nothing fresh, nothing new except the finish. And oh boy that finish.
4)Broman's. Look, you want to make it a comedy thing? Go for it. You want them to get serious? Go for it. But this in-between crap where at the drop of a dime, for no apparent reason, they decide to go from comedy mode to serious mode is laughable. I can't take dude seriously fighting for a finish when his gelled blow-out has started to come undone and half is hanging down, while the other half is sticking straight out on the sides like he's fucking Heihachi from Tekken. Then they want to be funny at the end with the protein shakes. None of those spots, individually, are bad. I want to stress that. It's that there's no cohesion, no continuity from one to the other.
5) The Diva's match was so-so. Best thing I could say about the show was the powerbomb by Tapa. That shit looked owie. Girl did not want that. Gail looked like she was next, then wasn't, and that was that. Ok, I guess. I didn't see the angle/relationship between Gail and Tapa - Henchman? Bodyguard? Lover? Protector? Tapa sparing Gail because she thinks she can beat her? IDK, and I'm not watching any further to find out.
It was a really lame show. It's easy to rip on TNA, and I normally would refrain, but that shit was atrocious. It's like they look at their feet, decide they don't need both, take out a gun and shoot one. Simply cannot get out of their own way, even during their biggest PPV of the year.
