Ring of Honor/NJPW “Global Wars: Columbus”
October 14th, 2017
From Express Live! in Columbus, Ohio
Commentators: Ian Riccaboni and Colt Cabana
Tonight: Cody defends the Ring of Honor World Heavyweight Championship against Kushida and Best Friends and Flip Gordon take on the Elite.
The Addiction vs. JAY FUCKING WHITE & Johnathan Gresham
Frankie Kazarian won so much of my respect by inviting anyone wearing a Bullet Club t-shirt to meet him and Christopher Daniels in the parking lot after their match so they could kick their asses. This match was pretty good. I mean it should be obvious since future IWGP Heavyweight champion and Bullet Club leader JAY FUCKING WHITE was in it...
...I can’t type that without laughing...and crying a little bit.
Winners: the Addiction
Kenny King (who was supposed to tag team with Mark Briscoe tonight, but Briscoe dislocated his elbow the previous night) comes out and panders to the crowd. Instead he wants to defend his Ring of Honor World Television Championship in a handicapped match against the team he and Briscoe were scheduled to face: Adam Page and Marty Scurll. Those two come out and tell him go team up with anyone he wants; even...a commentator. Which leads to Colt Cabana accepting the challenge and leaving commentary.
Upcoming Ring of Honor shows ad.
Kingdom t-shirt ad.
Hiromu Takahashi w/that fucking stupid stuffed cat vs. Jay Lethal
This was a good match and thankfully the cat didn’t get very involved. Jay Lethal is better than jobbing out to a stuffed animal.
Winner: Jay Lethal (thank god)
The Dawgs joins Ian Riccaboni on commentary.
For the Ring of Honor World Tag Team Championships
Silas Young & Beer City Bruiser vs. the Motor City Machine Guns (champions)
I miss Silas and the Bruiser as a team. Why did they even break them up to end up sticking them in separate tag teams with way worse partners a year later? It was pretty ridiculous that they didn’t win this match.
Winners: the Motor City Machine Guns
BJ Whitmer joins Ian Riccaboni on commentary.
CHAOS vs. Suzuki-Gun
If I learned anything during this tour (I was at the show in Buffalo two days earlier) it’s that CHAOS suck. Will Osprey is good but the other two guys that were part of this tour (Toru Yano and Yoshi-Hashi) are terrible in every way. This match should have been way better. I saw Suzuki-Gun against War Machine and Mark Briscoe at the show two days earlier. That match was so great but the opponents weren’t trash like Yano. This was good though when Ospreay and Suzuki were in the ring together, which was maybe two minutes.
Holidead vs. Sumie Sakai
Holidead, Rosemary, Su Yung, Abadon; a lot of female Indy wrestlers really need to break out and find their own looks. The crowd was stunned silent by this one.
Winner: Sumie Sakai
Shayne Taylor vs. Josh “the Goods” Woods
This was a decent match but putting it on directly after the women’s match probably wasn’t a good idea. Two “cool down” matches in a row can kill a show.
Winner: Shayne Taylor
Bullet Club vs. Colt Cabana & Kenny King
Colt Cabana was really “on” this match. He had some great chemistry with Marty Scurll especially. But Kenny King was a lot better than usual too. I really liked this match. Even the referee was having a hard time keeping a straight face. If there was anything wrong with this match it should have gone on right after the segment earlier on in the show when the crowd was still red hot for it. Instead they showed three ads right after that segment, which wouldn't have killed the live audience but didn't do much for the viewer at home.
Winners: Colt Cabana & Kenny King
For the Ring of Honor World Heavyweight Championship
Kushida vs. Cody (champion)
This was a good match...from what I heard the commentators say. I really wasn’t paying attention.
For the Ring of Honor World Six-Man Championships
Best Friends & Flip Gordon vs. the Elite (champions)
I felt so bad for anyone who had to face the Elite in 2017. I saw so many guys get sacrificed to them that year. The Best Friends and Flip did a lot better than the others I saw (I don’t think Christopher Daniels got any offence in when he was a part of a match against them in Toronto, and he was Ring of Honor World Heavyweight Champion then). Maybe because this match had that extra layer of a catch-phrase from a stupid YouTube show? I’m sure this was very fun live and then. I won’t lie that I had fun watching them two days earlier in Buffalo and a few months earlier in Toronto. But now almost three years later I have zero desire to watch this. They even repeated the “ten boots” shtick from Buffalo two days earlier.
Winners: the Elite
There’s so much in this show I don’t miss being near Ring of Honor anymore: the Bullet Club, the Elite, Cody, that fucking stupid stuffed cat, Best Friends, fucking donk fans singing along with Minoru Suzuki’s theme song pretending like they didn’t hear of for the first time a week earlier when they Googled who “Minoru Suzuki” is (which was even better on this show because they edited some house music over it), all the fly-by-night fans that followed that shit, Kenny King as a face, Jay Briscoe being completely written off shows to sell a shitty angle with fucking Bully Ray. Ugh. Late 2017 sucked.
This show wasn’t too bad. That one match with the Bullet Club and Colt Cabana and Kenny King was a lot better than I expected. I won’t lie though that I hated all the meme shit in the main event and thus just hated the match as a result. I can’t blame anyone for despising the Young Bucks for all that crap. The undercard was just that, if not less. Undercards meant jack shit on these Global Wars shows, especially when Kenny Omega was on them.
They again couldn’t use any of the NJPW music for the DVD. It was pretty noticeable, especially during Minoru Suzuki’s entrance. Also when you could barely hear Ian Riccaboni talking because they had to try have some commentary during entrances.
Sometimes I really miss BJ Whitmer on commentary. He was good tonight.