All good things must come to an end.
Looks like I've got a lot of people to prove wrong.
Uh, the guy that Xander beat up wasn't the killer, he was one of the dudes that attacked him in the previous RP, we don't know who was driving the other car.. yet. And, I can understand why you'd think Beth's brother killed the step dad, but he didn't, only beat him up extremely badly, which is why I tied that into Xander beating up that dude.Crap! Got a little side-tracked this week, so here goes:
Xander Black / C3K
* Ooh! Xander hears voices in his head. They talk to him, they understand. \_o__/ Lots of potential here! No limit to what you can do with the voices.
* One criticism: The RP assumes the audience accepts two rather unlikely events. 1) Xander's mom gets murdered. Fine, on its own, but then Xander spots the killer seemingly at random? 2) Beth's brother apparently killed their stepdad - it seems a little convenient, with her talking to a guy whose mom got killed? Once again, it's fine on its own, but then having this story AND #1 is just a tad much for me personally. My suggestion would be to run with the voices angle (which could be plenty dark on its own) and one of these, tops.
* I'm guilty of this myself, but the RP could benefit from a better proofread. Only a handful or little errors, but a key sentence in the RP should read: "My mother's dead." That was the only one that sort of bothered me and only because it's an important realisation.
* Everything I didn't critique was wonderful. Good rhetoric in the rant at the end and a vivid depiction of the characters' emotions throughout. The interaction between Beth and young Xander was my very favourite parts of the RP.