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This Is a partial raw that I wrote. I had orginally wrote this for king pin by im now doing the BTB with Vegata so..... I;ll might as well get some feedback on this one.

Here it is and PLEASe leave feedback

Anyway, It didn't feel right writing where I knew I couldn't pick up from next week. It was like I was wasting my time starting new feuds so I stop. I figured those other 2 people dont even look like serious posters so I wuz just going to give you the little that i wrote. If you want more i'll add if you cant make a decesion.
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The Raw Theme slowly comes to halt as the earsplitting fans scream there lungs off awaiting an action-packed show. The pyro explodes up to the air repeatedly and that causes the large crowd in Miami Florida to even scream louder.

J.R- Welcome Guys, To Monday Night Raw, and what a show we have here.

King- Oh My God, we had a shocking show last night were 2 impact stars were traded to smackdown from Raw. The God himself “HHH” is over there on Smackdown. Chris Jericho is now over there to and plus rhino was traded to Smackdown as well.

J.R- Well don’t worry about it, Raw has had some Positive action to. First of all the 475 pound giant “The Big Show” has been traded to Raw, and Billy Kidman has also been traded to Raw.

King- Your forgetting about my favorite Dude, Carlito Caribbean Cool, who is also a new member of Raw.

J.R- Im wait…….

J.R is cut off by the thunderous music of the Chairman of the WWE. Vince McMahon. Vince McMahon makes his way to the ring, walking with his trademark stride. Vince McMahon gets a nice reaction and they are several people bowing down to McMahon. Vince Grabs the Mic and puts it under his chin waiting for the patient crowd to settle down.

Vince- Now, there has seem to been a lot of controversy concerning the better of the two shows. Bust most people have accepted Raw as the flagship show and Smackdown a back up show or how Booker T used to put it

Mocks booker’s voice

Vince- Minor League. But originally when I had just established the two shows I had intended to have them close together. The way WWE and WCW

FANS POP

Vince McMahon- Eric Bischoff seemed to have much more experience than all those GMs Smackdown had. So, I had to fire, Bischoff

FANS POP

Vince McMahon- I had to fire Teddy Long

FANS POP ONCE AGAIN

Vince McMahon- But I don’t think it would be fair to fire Bischoff since he really did not do anything wrong. So, I promoted Eric Bischoff, to commissioner status.

FANS BOO

Vince McMahon- Eric will now have the power to travel to either Raw or Smackdown which ever he chooses, when ever he chooses. He could appear on any show any time. To make any changes he wishes.

FANS BOO

Vince McMahon- Well, since Eric is promoted and teddy is gone. I think that leaves 2 spots open for general manager. Well, to make a long story short, the only ones I really trusted to lead my two creations. Were my own blood.

FANS POP BIG TIME

Vince McMahon- So here it is! You’re new GM for Raw.

ALL FANS AND VINCE LOOK TORWARD THE ENTRANCE RAMP

SHANE MCMAHON

HERE COMES THE MONEY HIT’S THE ARENA AS SHANE MCMAHON WALKS OUT. HE GETS A HUGE OVATION AS HE WALKS OUT. ONCE HE ENTERS THE RING HE SHAKES HAND WITH VINCE MCMAHON AND VINCE MCMAHON LEAVES THE RING. SHANE MCMAHON FIXES UP HIS TIE.

Shane McMahon- Thank You For the ovation guys. I’m going to tell you right now. I’m going to shake up raw right now. I’m going to start off by making an 8 man tournaments for the Batista’s Title. But my main goal for Raw is for this show to be as different and unpredictable as could be. So instead of me just handing the spot to any big name. The First 8 Men, to completely come and shake my hands will be in the matches tonight.

THE FANS POP AT THE GREAT IDEAShane McMahon- Who is going……

SHANE IS INTERRUPTED BY THE MUSIC OF CHRISTIAN WHO IS ACCOMPANIED BY TOMKO.

Christian takes his time walking down as he kisses his two fingers and points to the crowd. He is half way down the ramp when he is ambushed by Edge. Edge does a modified spear but hits Christian in the back. He starts with right hands on Christian. Tyson Tomko stands back runs towards Christian but hesitates to help him. He looks at Christian and Edge swinging at each other and than looks at Shane McMahon who flashes a smile and opens his arm. Tyson Tomko continues to look back at Christian and than Shane. And Than Christian and than Edge, Tyson Tomko runs over to edge kicks him and runs full speed back to the mat slides in and Shakes Shane’s hand. By the time this happens the whole raw roster is out and fighting with each other. Shane McMahon now has his hands on his knees laughing so hard. People manage to touch him and those people are Tyson Tomko, Chris Beniot, Edge, Kane, Muhammad Hassan, The Big Show Shawn Michael’s and Randy Orton.

Time into Show Gone: 15 min, 32 sec.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~COMMERCIAL BREAK~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

As we come back from commercial break J.R and King greet us back.

J.R- Oh my god, what a way to kick off the new generation of raw.

King: What kind of crazy things are we going to have in the future with this crazy man in charge, and what about Eric Bischoff.

J.R- Yeah, folks. Eric Bischoff has got a promotion and now has the power to make any changes to any show whenever he wants.

King- What is Eric, going to do with all that power.

J.R- Who knows. But fans, we know we have a No. 1’s contender tournament starting off but my question is who is going to fight who.

King- I know Randy Orton actually RKO’ed Shane McMahon.

J.R- Oh yea, people there was to much chaos going on in the ring and we were unable to point out what had happened. Here is the replay.

On the titantron Randy Orton is giving right’s and left’s to Shelton Benjamin, than quickly turning around RKO’ing Shane McMahon and shaking Shane’s hand while he’s on the floor.

SHANE MCMAHON IS SEEN IN HIS OFFICE HOLDING HIS NECK. OFFICIALS ARE BY HIM HANDING HIM A GLASSES OF WATER AND SO FORTH. THEN., THERE IS A KNOCK ON THE DOOR AND IT’S NOBODY BUT COACH WHO ENTERS THE ROOM.

Coach- Shane what do you want?

Shane- No, its Mr. McMahon to you and PLUS, I have a mission for you.
Coach- um, and what could that be and how much will I get paid.

Shane- Coach, well you’ll get paid $1.00 extra to your paycheck.

Coach-WH….

Shane- Well, if you speak coach, I’ll make sure you never get paid again.

COACH ABUPTLY SHUTS HIS MOUTH.

Shane- Now I want you to go find Randy Orton and tell him that tonight his No. 1 contender qualifying match will be 1 on 1 against, The Giant.!

THE FANS DO THE BIGGEST POP OF THE NIGHT
Time in Show Gone: 21 min, 47 sec.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~COMMERCIAL BREAK~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A Big Red Explosion is heard throughout the arena as the monster Kane make his way out to the ring.

J.R- Well, we have just been informed that the first match of the night and the tournament will be Kane v.s Tyson Tomko.

Kane makes his way to the ring adjusting his elbow pad. He easily steps over the third rope and goes to the middle of the ring. He lifts both of his arms up and does his trademark mark. As the lights and smoke clear up, Christian music hits as Tyson Tomko makes his way out to the ring. He is accompanied by Christian who is yelling at him and pointing at him but Tomko just ignores him and walks toward the ring. He enters the ring and match starts:

THE START
The Match starts off by Kane and Tyson Tomko giving each other rights and lefts. Kane manages to duck at one of Tyson’s attempts and runs towards the rope. Tyson goes for a big boot but Kane catches his leg spins him around and connects with a HUGE clothesline.

MID-MATCH NOTES
This match has been dominated by Kane Mostly. The highest point so far for Kane is hitting a sidewalk slam on Kane. Tomko starts to gain some momentum but upon going to a big boot hit’s the ref. The Ref is out, Kane and Tyson Tomko are still going at it and Christian is at ringside,

THE FINISH
There is a steel chair inside of the ring Kane gets and swings at Tyson Tomko but misses. Tyson Tomko runs quickly to the ropes and connects with a BIG BOOT! This move has forced the steel chair to bombard into Kane’s face and Kane has already started to bleed. Tyson Tomko goes for the pin. The Ref is still down. Christian than grabs the mic, and yells;

Shane: SHANE GET A DAMN REF OUT HERE!

He yells it repeatedly, until a ref is seen coming.

At this point Tyson Tomko has totally stopped focusing on Kane, and has started worrying about the ref situation. Kane slowly creeps up and as soon as Tyson turns around he is hit with a thunderous right hand. Kane than grabs Tyson Tomko and picks him up on his back, in the position for the tombstone! Kane than goes on and delivers a tombstone on the Steel Chair!

The Ref than aggressively calls the bell.

Lillian Garcia- The Winner of this match and the person who will advance farther into the tournament;







TYSON TOMKO BY DISQUALIFICATION.


Christian and Tyson Tomko continue celebrating in the ring.
Time In Show Gone: 31 minutes 59 seconds
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~COMMERCIAL BREAK~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

TODD GIRSHAM IS SHOWN BY THE WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION DAVE BATISTA.

Todd Girsham- I’m here with the world heavyweight champion Dave Batista.

HUGE POP

Todd Girsham- What do you think about the tournament

Batista- I really don’t care about a damn tournament. I’m the best wrestler in the WWE. Not Raw, not Smackdown, but the whole damn WWE. I really don’t care who wins the tournament. I wouldn’t mind fight them all in the same night. The matter of the fact is that Batista is the unleashed Animal, and there is not a damn soul good enough to put the animal back in the leash.

Todd Girsham- What do you think of that intense stare down

BATISTA ROLLS HIS EYES

Todd Girsham- you had with Randy Orton Last week.

Batista- I really don’t give a damn about Randy Orton either. I’m not a little girl, I don’t want to look at guys forever. If Randy Orton was a man he would of did something.

BATISTA LOOKS INTO THE CAMERA

Batista- I’m daring you to get into the ring with me.

FANS POP BIG TIME

ERIC BISCHOFF IS SEEN WALKING SLOWLY WITH A HUGE GRIN ON HIS FACE.

Eric Bischoff- BATISTA, BATISTA, BATISTA. Do you ever think of anything besides fighting?

Batista- I ………..

Eric Bischoff- You know what I really don’t care. Thursday Night, I want you to be with me on Thursday Night Smackdown

Eric Bischoff leaves the scene while Batista just stands there speechless
 

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I'll leave a comment. It was a good Raw and good seeing Shane McMahon is the GM for Raw, but I'm not to fond on the Bischoff being commisioner part. Good match between Kane and Tyson Tomko and I also liked you time in show gone thing it was a creative idea. What you should work on is using Colors, bold , italics , etc other then that not to bad 8.5/10
 
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