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The Raw pyro hits and JR and King welcome us to Raw. JR informs us that tonight will be the Scott Steiner/Booker T vs. Triple H/Batista Tag Team Match. JR promises it will be a hell of a night and that No Way Out is only 6 days away.
Eric Bischoff’s music hits and he has a disgusted look on his face.
JR: Well, folks, last week Mr. McMahon asked Eric Bischoff to join the Kiss My Ass Club and it was not pretty at all.
King: I still want to see Bischoff kiss his ass.
Bischoff: Ladies and gentlemen, I can promise you one hell of a night! Even though I should be getting ready for my match with Steve Austin this Sunday, I still need to put on a good show. So I promise you that with the Scott Steiner/Booker T vs. Triple H/Batista match-up. Even though Vince came up with that match, I own Raw so I own the Superstars. And I need some stipulations. How about everyone banned from ringside? Ric Flair and Randy Orton can keep themselves in the locker room until the match is over. And Steiner, no lead pipes either! I also have one more match to announce out of many great ones. Tonight, Rob Van Dam will face Jamal and Rosie tonight in a handicap match!
Bischoff leaves the ring as we go to commercial break.
JR: Folks, we are back here on Raw as Eric Bischoff has just announced that RVD will be in a handicap match against 3 Minute Warning!
King: Can’t wait for that one!
Test’s music hits and he is accompanied to the ring by the lovely Stacy Keibler.
King: I can’t wait for this either!
JR: Well everyone, Test vs. Chris Jericho will go down this Sunday at No Way Out!
Lance Storm’s music hits and he is accompanied by William Regal who was frisked by the refs for the brass knuckles. JR reminds us that the Tag Titles will also be on the line this Sunday as Kane/RVD team up to take on Storm/Regal.
Test vs. Lance Storm
This was a real quick match, and Storm got help from Regal a little too much and Lance goes to work with the chops in the corner. Test gets a burst of speed much to Stacy’s delight and Test hits the Big Boot! Test gets a two count as Lance kicks out. Lance battles back and he still can’t seem to get a hold on Test. A top rope superplex takes both men out. Wait a minute! Here comes Chris Jericho!
JR: He’s got a damn steel chair! Bam! I can’t believe it!
Nick Patrick gets up and counts the 1, 2, 3!
Winner: Lance Storm
Bischoff on his cell phone: Yes, that’s fine. Ok Chief I’ll see you next week.
JR: Chief Morley is coming back!
King: No way!
Back from a commercial, Trish is being interviewed in the back by Coach. Coach asks how Trish was doing after that attack from Jazz. Jazz walks over to Trish.
Trish: Jazz, you should give up now! You know that I can beat you anytime, anywhere, especially at a PPV called No Way Out!
Jazz: Oh, that’s cool. Eric sent me to tell you that next week will be a Women’s Tag Team Match: You and Molly against me and Victoria. Not at No Way Out!
Kane vs. Christian
Kane’s intro plays as he is waiting in the ring for his opponent, Christian. Christian’s intro plays and we are waiting for Christian to come to the ring.
JR: Where the hell is he?
King: I don’t know!
Kane gives up and turns around to leave when Christian hits him with a chair!
JR: Damn Christian! Christian is running like a scalded dog!
King: Get him security!
JR: King, I don’t think security is going to get him.
Winner by DQ: Kane
JR: Folks, as we welcome you back to Raw, don’t forget to buy Raw magazine with the exclusive Steve Austin interview in it. It will only be on newsstands for one more week!
Steven Richards vs. Jeff Hardy
Jeff Hardy comes to the ring and already standing in the ring is Steven Richards. According to JR, Steven is crazier than a pet ****! Jeff and Steven both go for their finishing moves at the same time, the Twist of Fate and the Superkick. Unfortunately, Steven kicked Jeff before Jeff kicked Steven and it was all over. 1, 2, and no! Jeff somehow kicks out! Jeff nails Steven with a big neckbreaker and heads to the top rope. Jeff flies through the air and hits the Swanton Bomb! 1, 2, 3!
Winner: Jeff Hardy
JR: Jeff deserved that one he did one hell of a job!
“Sexy Boy” hits and it’s Shawn Michaels! The crowd goes wild and Shawn is apparently here to advise Jeff Hardy.
Shawn: Jeff, you’ve been doing one hell of a job since I gave you some Sweet Chin Music 2 weeks ago! I mean, you have been on fire! So, I’m not going to Superkick you tonight in honor of your success. But guess what, Steven Richards will!
Jeff turns around and Steven hits him with the Superkick! Shawn just shrugs his shoulders and leaves the ring.
As we come back from commercial, Evolution is crowded around standing outside waiting. A black limo pulls up, and Trips goes over to open the door of the limo. It’s Vince McMahon.
Triple H: Vince, welcome to Columbus, Ohio! The land of…
Vince: Trips, shut up! I don’t need you to be begging and welcoming me to the arena. I am here to do business and that is all I am here to do.
Vince walks off as Evolution can only watch.
The Dudley Boyz’ music hits and Bubba, D’Von, and Spike all come to the ring. But Bubba is the only one fighting tonight. Bubba will be going up against Chris Jericho. The Jericho countdown hits 0.00 and here comes Y2J!
Bubba Dudley vs. Chris Jericho
JR: Chris Jericho is the most egotistical wrestler on the Raw brand, no doubt about it.
King: That’s right, I never want to see him with a title again!
Bubba goes straight to work on Chris and it is a good back and forth match. Jericho locks in the Walls of Jericho early on, but Bubba reaches the ropes. D’Von and Spike encourage Bubba on, but Jericho is too strong and locks in the Walls again on Bubba Ray. Bubba can’t hold on much longer but D’Von and Spike come in and break it up. Bubba has had enough of Jericho and Bubba tells D’Von and Spike to each get a table! Spike and D’Von get the tables and put one in one corner, and one in the other. Bubba ponders on which table to put Jericho through. He picks the right instead of the left, and D’Von puts Jericho in Bubba’s shoulders. Jericho flies through the air and through the table! Bubba, Spike, and D’Von all leave with a smirk on their face.
Winner: No Contest
As we return from commercial, JR is ready to go at No Way Out.
JR: Well, No Way Out is this Sunday and you can order it on PPV or on the Internet Webcast at wwenowayout.com. This Sunday will surely be great with Scott Steiner vs. Triple H, The Rock vs. Hulk Hogan, and Steve Austin vs. Eric Bischoff just to name a few.
3 Minute Warning vs. RVD
JR runs through the card, and it’s on to Jamal/Rosie vs. RVD. Rico accompanies 3 Minute Warning to the ring as the match begins. RVD controls the entire match, but 3 Minute Warning get a quick burst of speed at the end of the match. Jamal powerslams Rob to the ground and Rosie goes up top for a Frog Splash. Jamal has RVD pinned down so he can’t move. Jamal drills him with the Frog Splash and it’s over 1, 2, 3! 3 Minute Warning continues their beat down on RVD until Kane comes out! Clotheslines here and there to Jamal, Rosie, and Rico! But here come Lance Storm and William Regal! The Tag Championship is on the line this Sunday, but Lance and William can’t wait! They beat down on Kane/RVD and Lance, William, Jamal, Rosie, and Rico all leave the ring together!
Winners: 3 Minute Warning
Triple H and Batista are shown walking to the ring and walking down the other hallway is Scott Steiner and Booker T!
JR: The main event is next!
Triple H/Batista vs. Scott Steiner/Booker T
Triple H and Batista look like they’re ready for action as well as Scott and Booker T. Booker and Batista start things off in the ring. After about 5 minutes, Batista tags in Triple H and Booker tags in Big Poppa Pump. Trips hits Scott with a few right hands and then a spinebuster. 1, 2, and a kickout by Steiner! Big Poppa Pump comes back with a german suplex and tags in Booker T. The Game climbs over and tags Batista in. Booker and Batista have had a great rivalry so far in this match and Booker goes for the Scissors Kick. Batista counters and here comes the powerbomb! Booker hits the mat roughly and Triple H goes to work on Steiner by attacking him from behind. Batista goes for the pin and it’s all over! 1, 2, 3!
Winners: Batista/Triple H
Ric Flair and Randy Orton come down to join the fun, but Vince McMahon’s music hits!
Vince: Evolution, get the hell out of here! All four of you should be ashamed of yourselves! I’m coming down to that ring right now so get the hell out! Triple H, Ric Flair, Batista, and Randy Orton all leave the ring. And Batista, at No Way Out, it’s you against the 5 Time WCW Champion Booker T!
Vince: I also would like to see Eric Bischoff down here as well; I need him to kiss my ass! Eric’s music hits and he is standing at the top of the stage.
Eric: Vince, I’m not coming down there. I mean, I really can’t do this.
Vince: Eric, I saved your damn job and you’re going to pay the dividends! Get down here!
Eric: No way, Vince.
Vince: Well then, I’ll just have to find a new Raw General Manager!
Eric: No, I’ll come! Wait Vince!
Vince: Alright, let’s go, pucker up and kiss my ass!
Vince pulls down his pants and Eric turns away at the sight of seeing Vince’s backside.
King: This is so funny!
JR: So King, you laughed when this happened to me?
King: No, of course not Jim.
Eric: Vince, I can’t do it. I really just…
Vince: Eric, you son of a *****!
Vince grabs Eric by the neck and holds him.
Vince: Eric, when you face Stone Cold Steve Austin this Sunday, there will be NO WAY OUT!
JR: Oh my! We’ll see you this Sunday at No Way Out!
*Raw goes off the air*
Eric Bischoff’s music hits and he has a disgusted look on his face.
JR: Well, folks, last week Mr. McMahon asked Eric Bischoff to join the Kiss My Ass Club and it was not pretty at all.
King: I still want to see Bischoff kiss his ass.
Bischoff: Ladies and gentlemen, I can promise you one hell of a night! Even though I should be getting ready for my match with Steve Austin this Sunday, I still need to put on a good show. So I promise you that with the Scott Steiner/Booker T vs. Triple H/Batista match-up. Even though Vince came up with that match, I own Raw so I own the Superstars. And I need some stipulations. How about everyone banned from ringside? Ric Flair and Randy Orton can keep themselves in the locker room until the match is over. And Steiner, no lead pipes either! I also have one more match to announce out of many great ones. Tonight, Rob Van Dam will face Jamal and Rosie tonight in a handicap match!
Bischoff leaves the ring as we go to commercial break.
JR: Folks, we are back here on Raw as Eric Bischoff has just announced that RVD will be in a handicap match against 3 Minute Warning!
King: Can’t wait for that one!
Test’s music hits and he is accompanied to the ring by the lovely Stacy Keibler.
King: I can’t wait for this either!
JR: Well everyone, Test vs. Chris Jericho will go down this Sunday at No Way Out!
Lance Storm’s music hits and he is accompanied by William Regal who was frisked by the refs for the brass knuckles. JR reminds us that the Tag Titles will also be on the line this Sunday as Kane/RVD team up to take on Storm/Regal.
Test vs. Lance Storm
This was a real quick match, and Storm got help from Regal a little too much and Lance goes to work with the chops in the corner. Test gets a burst of speed much to Stacy’s delight and Test hits the Big Boot! Test gets a two count as Lance kicks out. Lance battles back and he still can’t seem to get a hold on Test. A top rope superplex takes both men out. Wait a minute! Here comes Chris Jericho!
JR: He’s got a damn steel chair! Bam! I can’t believe it!
Nick Patrick gets up and counts the 1, 2, 3!
Winner: Lance Storm
Bischoff on his cell phone: Yes, that’s fine. Ok Chief I’ll see you next week.
JR: Chief Morley is coming back!
King: No way!
Back from a commercial, Trish is being interviewed in the back by Coach. Coach asks how Trish was doing after that attack from Jazz. Jazz walks over to Trish.
Trish: Jazz, you should give up now! You know that I can beat you anytime, anywhere, especially at a PPV called No Way Out!
Jazz: Oh, that’s cool. Eric sent me to tell you that next week will be a Women’s Tag Team Match: You and Molly against me and Victoria. Not at No Way Out!
Kane vs. Christian
Kane’s intro plays as he is waiting in the ring for his opponent, Christian. Christian’s intro plays and we are waiting for Christian to come to the ring.
JR: Where the hell is he?
King: I don’t know!
Kane gives up and turns around to leave when Christian hits him with a chair!
JR: Damn Christian! Christian is running like a scalded dog!
King: Get him security!
JR: King, I don’t think security is going to get him.
Winner by DQ: Kane
JR: Folks, as we welcome you back to Raw, don’t forget to buy Raw magazine with the exclusive Steve Austin interview in it. It will only be on newsstands for one more week!
Steven Richards vs. Jeff Hardy
Jeff Hardy comes to the ring and already standing in the ring is Steven Richards. According to JR, Steven is crazier than a pet ****! Jeff and Steven both go for their finishing moves at the same time, the Twist of Fate and the Superkick. Unfortunately, Steven kicked Jeff before Jeff kicked Steven and it was all over. 1, 2, and no! Jeff somehow kicks out! Jeff nails Steven with a big neckbreaker and heads to the top rope. Jeff flies through the air and hits the Swanton Bomb! 1, 2, 3!
Winner: Jeff Hardy
JR: Jeff deserved that one he did one hell of a job!
“Sexy Boy” hits and it’s Shawn Michaels! The crowd goes wild and Shawn is apparently here to advise Jeff Hardy.
Shawn: Jeff, you’ve been doing one hell of a job since I gave you some Sweet Chin Music 2 weeks ago! I mean, you have been on fire! So, I’m not going to Superkick you tonight in honor of your success. But guess what, Steven Richards will!
Jeff turns around and Steven hits him with the Superkick! Shawn just shrugs his shoulders and leaves the ring.
As we come back from commercial, Evolution is crowded around standing outside waiting. A black limo pulls up, and Trips goes over to open the door of the limo. It’s Vince McMahon.
Triple H: Vince, welcome to Columbus, Ohio! The land of…
Vince: Trips, shut up! I don’t need you to be begging and welcoming me to the arena. I am here to do business and that is all I am here to do.
Vince walks off as Evolution can only watch.
The Dudley Boyz’ music hits and Bubba, D’Von, and Spike all come to the ring. But Bubba is the only one fighting tonight. Bubba will be going up against Chris Jericho. The Jericho countdown hits 0.00 and here comes Y2J!
Bubba Dudley vs. Chris Jericho
JR: Chris Jericho is the most egotistical wrestler on the Raw brand, no doubt about it.
King: That’s right, I never want to see him with a title again!
Bubba goes straight to work on Chris and it is a good back and forth match. Jericho locks in the Walls of Jericho early on, but Bubba reaches the ropes. D’Von and Spike encourage Bubba on, but Jericho is too strong and locks in the Walls again on Bubba Ray. Bubba can’t hold on much longer but D’Von and Spike come in and break it up. Bubba has had enough of Jericho and Bubba tells D’Von and Spike to each get a table! Spike and D’Von get the tables and put one in one corner, and one in the other. Bubba ponders on which table to put Jericho through. He picks the right instead of the left, and D’Von puts Jericho in Bubba’s shoulders. Jericho flies through the air and through the table! Bubba, Spike, and D’Von all leave with a smirk on their face.
Winner: No Contest
As we return from commercial, JR is ready to go at No Way Out.
JR: Well, No Way Out is this Sunday and you can order it on PPV or on the Internet Webcast at wwenowayout.com. This Sunday will surely be great with Scott Steiner vs. Triple H, The Rock vs. Hulk Hogan, and Steve Austin vs. Eric Bischoff just to name a few.
3 Minute Warning vs. RVD
JR runs through the card, and it’s on to Jamal/Rosie vs. RVD. Rico accompanies 3 Minute Warning to the ring as the match begins. RVD controls the entire match, but 3 Minute Warning get a quick burst of speed at the end of the match. Jamal powerslams Rob to the ground and Rosie goes up top for a Frog Splash. Jamal has RVD pinned down so he can’t move. Jamal drills him with the Frog Splash and it’s over 1, 2, 3! 3 Minute Warning continues their beat down on RVD until Kane comes out! Clotheslines here and there to Jamal, Rosie, and Rico! But here come Lance Storm and William Regal! The Tag Championship is on the line this Sunday, but Lance and William can’t wait! They beat down on Kane/RVD and Lance, William, Jamal, Rosie, and Rico all leave the ring together!
Winners: 3 Minute Warning
Triple H and Batista are shown walking to the ring and walking down the other hallway is Scott Steiner and Booker T!
JR: The main event is next!
Triple H/Batista vs. Scott Steiner/Booker T
Triple H and Batista look like they’re ready for action as well as Scott and Booker T. Booker and Batista start things off in the ring. After about 5 minutes, Batista tags in Triple H and Booker tags in Big Poppa Pump. Trips hits Scott with a few right hands and then a spinebuster. 1, 2, and a kickout by Steiner! Big Poppa Pump comes back with a german suplex and tags in Booker T. The Game climbs over and tags Batista in. Booker and Batista have had a great rivalry so far in this match and Booker goes for the Scissors Kick. Batista counters and here comes the powerbomb! Booker hits the mat roughly and Triple H goes to work on Steiner by attacking him from behind. Batista goes for the pin and it’s all over! 1, 2, 3!
Winners: Batista/Triple H
Ric Flair and Randy Orton come down to join the fun, but Vince McMahon’s music hits!
Vince: Evolution, get the hell out of here! All four of you should be ashamed of yourselves! I’m coming down to that ring right now so get the hell out! Triple H, Ric Flair, Batista, and Randy Orton all leave the ring. And Batista, at No Way Out, it’s you against the 5 Time WCW Champion Booker T!
Vince: I also would like to see Eric Bischoff down here as well; I need him to kiss my ass! Eric’s music hits and he is standing at the top of the stage.
Eric: Vince, I’m not coming down there. I mean, I really can’t do this.
Vince: Eric, I saved your damn job and you’re going to pay the dividends! Get down here!
Eric: No way, Vince.
Vince: Well then, I’ll just have to find a new Raw General Manager!
Eric: No, I’ll come! Wait Vince!
Vince: Alright, let’s go, pucker up and kiss my ass!
Vince pulls down his pants and Eric turns away at the sight of seeing Vince’s backside.
King: This is so funny!
JR: So King, you laughed when this happened to me?
King: No, of course not Jim.
Eric: Vince, I can’t do it. I really just…
Vince: Eric, you son of a *****!
Vince grabs Eric by the neck and holds him.
Vince: Eric, when you face Stone Cold Steve Austin this Sunday, there will be NO WAY OUT!
JR: Oh my! We’ll see you this Sunday at No Way Out!
*Raw goes off the air*
We need more realistic people here,not like you.
