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Match 1) The World's Most Socially Accepted Gay Couple (c) vs The Bob Marley Wannabes
WWE Tag Team Championships
Usos Win (New Champs) via Samoan Drop
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Match 2) The Daughter of a Certain Hall of Famer that WWE won't mention until his court case is cleared (c) vs The Most Whoretastic Couple in Modern Day Wrestling
Divas Championship
Natalya Retains via Sharpshooter
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Match 3) The Only Professional Wrestler in History To Be Pwn3d by Pee Wee Herman w/ A-Rod vs The Guy with the Oil Fetish
WWE Championship
Miz retains via DQ after A-Rod nails Orton with the Briefcase full of Miz and Cole's Sex Toys
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Match 4) King Edge the Awesome (c) vs The Guy with the Most Greasy Hair You'll Probably Ever See on Prime Time Television w/ The Ex
World Heavyweight Championship, If Edge Hits the Spear He Loses The Title
Edge retains via Spear after a referee bump
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Match 5) 2011 40 Man Royal Rumble match
EITHER Triple H, CM Punk, Caesar or John Morrison
AND WITHOUT THE STUPID NICKNAMES 
Usos defeat Santino Marella and Vladimir Kozlov to win WWE Tag Titles
Natalya defeats Laycool to retain Divas Championship
Randy Orton defeats The Miz w/ Alex Riley by disqualification
Edge defeats Dolph Ziggler w/ Vickie Guerrero to retain World Heavyweight Title
Either Triple H, CM Punk, Wade Barrett or John Morrison will win the 40 Man Royal Rumble
Place Your's Underneath :3
WWE Tag Team Championships
Usos Win (New Champs) via Samoan Drop
---------------------------------------
Match 2) The Daughter of a Certain Hall of Famer that WWE won't mention until his court case is cleared (c) vs The Most Whoretastic Couple in Modern Day Wrestling
Divas Championship
Natalya Retains via Sharpshooter
----------------------------------
Match 3) The Only Professional Wrestler in History To Be Pwn3d by Pee Wee Herman w/ A-Rod vs The Guy with the Oil Fetish
WWE Championship
Miz retains via DQ after A-Rod nails Orton with the Briefcase full of Miz and Cole's Sex Toys
-----------------------
Match 4) King Edge the Awesome (c) vs The Guy with the Most Greasy Hair You'll Probably Ever See on Prime Time Television w/ The Ex
World Heavyweight Championship, If Edge Hits the Spear He Loses The Title
Edge retains via Spear after a referee bump
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Match 5) 2011 40 Man Royal Rumble match
EITHER Triple H, CM Punk, Caesar or John Morrison
Usos defeat Santino Marella and Vladimir Kozlov to win WWE Tag Titles
Natalya defeats Laycool to retain Divas Championship
Randy Orton defeats The Miz w/ Alex Riley by disqualification
Edge defeats Dolph Ziggler w/ Vickie Guerrero to retain World Heavyweight Title
Either Triple H, CM Punk, Wade Barrett or John Morrison will win the 40 Man Royal Rumble
Place Your's Underneath :3