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Do you really want honest feedback? If so, remember that I'm saying this to help you - ask whoever taught you promo structure for their money back.

The character itself could be weirdly engaging - it's Bray Wyatt-esque. But in a promo, you should always be looking to do three things, and this order of importance:

* Put your opponent over
* Sell the match (why should people care about this match/feud?)
* Get youself over

A good promo should be a 50/40/10% split of the above.

What you did was this: You told us that Punk had attacked you because he's a scared little bitch that you can kill one-on-one. Great. So why do I pay to see that? Why am I tuning in? On the off-chance you'll run in on his matches? Punk's the babyface hero - the fans need to believe that he can beat you, and that you know that even if you won't outright admit it. You have to sell his abilities.
 

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Banned
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8,267 Posts
You have dark features (Hair) but you need to work on the voice. Don't know how old you are but a darker character should have a deep voice and be imposing and intimidating. Your facial features should show more than your words do.

I play a lot of dark characters in film (I have dark facial features, dark hair, etc) and honestly my best advice to you would be speak in a very soft but intimidating tone (Think Jake The Snake, Raven etc) and let your look do the rest. If you're actually in the business and performing consider black hair dye and let your eyes and face do the talking. If you can project that you're a villain with your face and your eyes it doesn't even matter what you say really except for key parts which in wrestling would be time, place etc

When you started shouting I (And others probably) could tell it's clearly put on and quite frankly it was a bad acting job. You came across as you were acting not legitimately pissed and that's the worst kind of performing. When people know you're acting they're not going to become invested in what you're doing or saying.

Shark gave some good advice also. You have a look that could be used to portray a dark character but you didn't put anyone over (You buried Punk), The match wasn't sold and we know nothing about why Darren Dangerous is a force to be reckoned with so why am I going to pay to see him? I'm not.

A good heel will always put over a baby face. Lines such as "Punk you're good, But I'm better" go a long long way with an audience. If you're legitimately looking at a wrestling career maybe acting lessons would be good for you. I was listening to a Matt Striker shoot just yesterday and he says "There's always room for people that can talk in WWE"
 
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