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Discussion Starter #1 (Edited)
Since I figured the rant section needs a bit of me to spice things up

I've decided to do a rant on something I hate. And that is :
terrible lyrics.

Note, there will be no rant, just terrible lyrics with comments.

Originals 5/9/12

Des'ree - "Life" said:
I don't want to see a ghost
It's the sight that I fear most
I'd rather have a piece of toast
And watch the evening news
There are many things I'd rather have a piece of toast than do. I love toast...

Oasis - "Champagne Supernova" said:
Slowly walking down the hall
Faster than a cannonball
Where were you when we were getting high?
I don't know, depends on when you wrote the song.

U2 - "Elevation" said:
I've got no self control
Been living like a mole now
Going down, excavation
High and high in the sky
You make me feel like I can fly
So high
Elevation
Wait, you're low, and high at the same time? Have you and Oasis been seeing each other?

Snap - "Rhythm Is A Dancer" said:
I'm as serious as cancer
When I say rhythm is a dancer
And I'm serious as cancer when I say that made no sense.

Led Zeppelin - "The Lemon Song" said:
Squeeze my lemon till the juice runs down my leg
This just in: Robert Plant is masochist.

Razorlight - "Somewhere Else" said:
And I met a girl
She asked me my name
I told her what it was


Johnny Bristol - "Love Me For A Reason" said:
My initial reaction is honey give me love
Not a facsimile of
And the award for worst rhyme in history goes to...

ABC - "That Was Then But This Is Now" said:
Can’t complain, mustn’t grumble
Help yourself to another piece of apple crumble
Wait a moment, the judging panel have changed their mind.

Shakira - "Whenever said:
Lucky that my breasts
Are small and humble
So you don't confuse
Them with mountains
...Why did you just say that?

Elton John - "Your Song" said:
If I was a sculptor
But then again, no
Make up your mind.

Rick Springfield - "Jessie's Girl" said:
You know I feel so dirty when they start talking cute
I wanna tell her that I love her but the point is probably moot
All right, fuck this, there won't be any worst rhyme award if it keeps changing like this.

Update 5/10/12

The Fall - "Dktr Faustus" said:
Doctor Faustus
Horseshoes splacking
Swallows hay cart, cart horse
Of the peasants blocking his path
I immediately looked up "splacking" and came up with the definition that it means finger fucking. Don't try to make sense of the rest, it'll sound like a weird porno.

AC/DC - "Let Me Put My Love Into You" said:
Let me put my love into you, babe
Let me cut your cake with my knife
That is a disturbing metaphor. I assume after he has sex the girl's pussy is mutilated and being eaten by 12 different people.

Kiss - "Love Gun" said:
I'll be a gambler, baby
Lay down the bet
We get together, mama
You'll sweat

No place for hidin' baby
No place to run
You pull the trigger of my
Love gun, (love gun), love gun
Damn, what is it that everything is a synonym for penis? Lemons, knives, now guns. Just hope that Paul doesn't cum on her tits or she'd die.

America - "A Horse With No Name" said:
There were plants and birds and rocks and things
There was sand and hills and rings
The first thing I met was a fly with a buzz
And the sky with no clouds
The heat was hot and the ground was dry
But the air was full of sound
Could you please enlighten me as to what these "things" are? Also, if the air is full of sounds, it would sound better than this song.

Nicki Minaj - "Stupid Hoe" said:
You a stupid hoe, you a, you a stupid hoe
You a stupid hoe, you a, you a stupid hoe
You a stupid hoe, you a, you a stupid hoe
You a stupid hoe, (yeah) you a, you a stupid hoe
You a stupid hoe, you a, you a stupid hoe (stupid, stupid)
You a stupid hoe, you a, you a stupid hoe (you stupid, stupid)
You a stupid hoe, you a, you a stupid hoe (you stupid, stupid)
You a stupid hoe, (yeah) you a, you a stupid hoe (you stupid, stupid)
Speak for yourself.

Update 5/25/12

Manic Street Preachers - "Yes" said:
In these plagued streets of pity you can buy anything
For $200 anyone can conceive a god on video
He's a boy, you want a girl, so tear off his cock
Tie his hair in bunches, fuck him, call him Rita if you want
That is just... simply abominable. Not the fact that you have participated in genital mutilation, child rape and cult activity, but that you called your new... creature... Rita. How disgusting.

The Human League - "Blind Youth" said:
Dehumanisation
Is such a big word
It's been around since
Richard The Third
Peh, I can out-long that. Read this shit. Also, I doubt it's been around since before the 19th century, let alone since Richard III's time.

Billy Bragg - "Sexuality" said:
Sexuality
Strong and warm and wild and free
Sexuality
Your laws do not apply to me
A nuclear submarine sinks off the coast of Sweden...
I was kind of with you... until the submarine part. It's like watching a porn TV show then changing over to Fox News mid-fap. And you JUST. DON'T. DO. THAT.

Kaiser Chiefs - "Saturday Night" said:
Pneumothorax is a word that is long
They're just trying to put some punk back into punctured lung
Why the FUCK did you feel the need to use that word? It's not even as long as "dehumanisation"! And instead of trying to take the lyrics back to a semi-decent level instead of a pile of shit, you give a MOTHERFUCKING DEFINITION! I've seen some shitty lyrics before, but this takes the fucking cake! In fact, this is so bad I'm giving up lyrics right now! FUCK THIS SHIT!!

...I need to go and lie down.

Feel free to post your own shit lyrics for me to rage at.
 

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Congratulations, you played yourself
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9,528 Posts
Not as bad as Rihanna's lyrics.

"WHIP MY HAIR BOY!" x550 hurp durp
 

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Congratulations, you played yourself
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9,528 Posts
Get on the floor, put your hands up! DJ TURN MY MUSIC UP.

*generic*
 

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Old School
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4,783 Posts
Hey, I just met you,
and this is crazy,
but here's my number,
so call me, maybe?
Out of all the lyrics posted, this one irks me the most because it's the one song I hear more than any other.

Am I calling you or not? Make up your fucking mind.
 

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From Craig Davids seven days here is the chorus:

I met this girl on Monday
took her for a drink on Tuesday
we were making love by Wednesday
and on Thursday & Friday & Saturday we chilled on Sunday
 

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Fire, walk with me
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8,000 Posts
From Craig Davids seven days here is the chorus:

I met this girl on Monday
took her for a drink on Tuesday
we were making love by Wednesday
and on Thursday & Friday & Saturday we chilled on Sunday
Insulting Craig David? Blasphemy.
 

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Sleeps nude in an oxygen tent.
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4,744 Posts
Fuck you man Your Song is like the most romantic song ever written
 

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Registered
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22,868 Posts
Might as well as put 95% of modern pop song lyrics on here
 

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1,249 Posts
I'm at a payphone trying to call home
All of my change I spent on you
Where have the times gone
Baby it's all wrong, where are the plans we made for two?
 

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There are players and then there are pieces
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5,052 Posts
All the single Ladies
All the single Ladies
All the single Ladies
All the single Ladies
All the single Ladies
All the single Ladies
All the single Ladies
All the single Ladies
All the single Ladies
Now Put your hands up!
 
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