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I just wrote my father a letter and i thought i'd post it on here to get your input
I was a recluse because i've always felt my mind never worked the right way and that there was something wrong with me.I was angry because i felt no one under stood me because i didn't understand myself. I never let anyone inside my soul because i wasn't inside it myself.As a child i felt my life was one big movie and i was the star and anyone else i came in contact with was nothing more then extras who were put there to make every thing work and that was there sole purpose.I would never think twice about thoses people having there own feelings let alone life outside mine as far as i was concered they didn't.We never talked much about our feelings but thats because i belive our "chi" or whatever it may be is on the same level and that we could say more words then possiable with out moving our lips. I didn't leave the house much because i felt most normal and safe and unjudge by the people at home.
I never got it that the only reason you were gone so much of my life was because you were out working as hard as you could so you could have the best possiable life for your sons.I don't think i'd pick any other way to have it because you could have never said i love you and we would know it just by your work ethics alone.I feel you let us live an open and free life with the same amount of shelter that we could stare evil in the eyes and feel safe at the same time.I think i could say sorry for the rest of my life and it still wouldn't be enough to make up for the ways i treated you.I feel as though i am sitting in a house alone watching everything around me die and i just wait alone to die. But to know that there is someoen so unselfish and such a big heart and that this person has always been with me makes everything ok .
- love aaron
I was a recluse because i've always felt my mind never worked the right way and that there was something wrong with me.I was angry because i felt no one under stood me because i didn't understand myself. I never let anyone inside my soul because i wasn't inside it myself.As a child i felt my life was one big movie and i was the star and anyone else i came in contact with was nothing more then extras who were put there to make every thing work and that was there sole purpose.I would never think twice about thoses people having there own feelings let alone life outside mine as far as i was concered they didn't.We never talked much about our feelings but thats because i belive our "chi" or whatever it may be is on the same level and that we could say more words then possiable with out moving our lips. I didn't leave the house much because i felt most normal and safe and unjudge by the people at home.
I never got it that the only reason you were gone so much of my life was because you were out working as hard as you could so you could have the best possiable life for your sons.I don't think i'd pick any other way to have it because you could have never said i love you and we would know it just by your work ethics alone.I feel you let us live an open and free life with the same amount of shelter that we could stare evil in the eyes and feel safe at the same time.I think i could say sorry for the rest of my life and it still wouldn't be enough to make up for the ways i treated you.I feel as though i am sitting in a house alone watching everything around me die and i just wait alone to die. But to know that there is someoen so unselfish and such a big heart and that this person has always been with me makes everything ok .
- love aaron