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Discussion Starter #1 (Edited)
*edit can i get a mod to put this in rants. I didn't notice this was the anything board*

1 30 in the morning. I have to be up at 7

Fuck
I layed in bed for an hour. Just laying there thinking. Thoughts flashing though my head. Then I had to pee. I have to pee every 30 mins it seems. I think my body is dying on me. My veins are all gross and I have bumps and I get head aches all the time. I can’t sleep.. I think next step is for my penis to fall off.
I think I’m dying/I hope I’m dying. I mean then at lest people won’t be like oh he killed himself what a loser. They will be like oh he was so young why he had to go. Why is god so cruel. Why god are you so cruel.. Well first.. There is no god.. So that only leaves us with one person to point the finger at. Ourselves. So instead of fixing our problems and relishing we have no one to blame but our self’s we make up this fake person to throw all our problems on. A plague got to be gods fault. My dog got ran over got to be god doing” And even then just to comfort ourselves we say god had he’s reasons for doing so. But it truth “fido” Is rotting away and the worms are having a feast on he’s body” or the war in Iran is over god. I didn’t know oil was god?. And the plagues were just freaks of nature.. If they happen. And your dog. Well some drunk most likely ran him over. I mean when the fuck are people going to grow up and relies there is no god and that the only way we are going to fix our crumbling society. Is to look outside and relies that your daughter is a 13 old slut that is out having sex because well there’s nothing else to do. Do that your 16 year old son spends so much time in the basement because he’s got a grow opt down there. Or his looking for way to make pipe bombs on the net so we can go to school and blow the place up. Because frankly the kids were assholes to him for the simplest reasons such as he’s cloths just arnt cool anymore.. He’s hair is funny looking” Yes I resilse I am now going in to my past but it’s my journal and I can do that”

My friends all ways complain that they have to write up 500 word essays and they only have 2 days left. Well up this word 436 words and this isn’t even for school and when I ask lets say “Billy” how much time he has had to do it he said two weeks.. I mean that blows me away the kid could have just written 50 words a day and been done days ahead. But like the whole world has come to know and adjust to he’s become that lazy” Yes I relies when it comes to school work I am insanely lazy but I don’t complain about it”

I have been getting more and more of my friends pissed at me and mad. I think this is sub conistaly because I’m for one sick of most of there pure shit. But I think more and more about blowening my brains out all over the back of this black leather chair. Which I have no use for anyways but decided I needed it only for it to break a few days later. And now its garbage but it’s those things that you think of for some reason when you are thinking about shooting yourself and dying. Or will this so called lord that we have grown to love and trust be there with open arms. Or well it just end and nothing. Forever dark.. Pitch black. Where is your god now? It’s only then you relies the fault hope you have lead your life with. But it’s useless since your dead and you have been shut down. Pulled out of the game.
But yes my friends are not really supportive..Exp

???-Why are you depressed?
Me- I want to die
????-Oh ya cool… want to go see a movie?
Me- I guess
????-you’re paying

What are friends for? Or my msn name
“I hate myself and want to die”
You think that would be such a good sign. And what do I get. Ya I hate you too. Or I’ll get the gun. Or yes you should die.

Thanks you guys the people I am supposed to turn to when times are down. Are supporting and pushing for me to do it. So if you are one of the people that said that to me when I had my name that and you read this.. Read this very well. FUCK YOU PRICKS.

Why do we support the local jocks of a high school football team when they are the meanest and cruelest assholes in the school. They completely think they run the school and they are just pricks to any one not in the in crowd. And what is done about this. Nothing a blind eye is turned to it. They are cheered on by the town. When these kids they pick on day in and day out are at home thinking about killing themselves because they have no other way to go about it. And yet only after someone dies is something done and people relies holy fuck there are some big problems here. I have yet to see a suicide as of the result of bullying at my school. But I don’t know how some kids are still holding on. It’s only a better of time

My mom told me about a job opening . And I looked in to it and I couldn’t work there cause I used to go to a different school with a kid that works there and this was three years ago. And he used to tell people he had a list. And one day he came to school with a trench coat on and he came up behind me” I used to be a leader in that school a kid looked up to” and made he’s fingers in to a gun and jammed them in my back and whispered I was the first to go. So I spun around and took a swing but I was little off and missed him. So I sat back down a girl came up to me and tell the office what happen because frankly she was worried for her own safely so we got up and walked to the office told them what happen . And what we got was an “ Oh I’m sure we was only kidding and that if anything progress from it we will act on it” So here I am thinking. What is the next step.. A bullet in my head? So I go back to class and he is doing it to another kid now so I turn and walk back to the office tell them they need to take action now or I will be calling the cops . So I walk back and the kid is called down” he books out of the class room to he’s locker and starts taking/ putting stuff in it not sure which” And I run back down to the office tell them this and they do nothing about it cause legally they can do. So I’m thinking this is so fucked up. So he get she slap on the wrist please don’t do this bla bla. So on the bus ride home. Every one knew about it and they sensed this as easy pray and poured pudding all over he’s head and he just sat there.. With it dripping all over he’s head. Till he’s stop and he stands up and every one stares at him waiting for him to make he’s move and he does. He points at random people and starts acting like he’s shooting them . Then he runs off the bus screaming we are all going to die. So the bus driver radios in what has happen and he’s kicked out for 3 days. And it was only months later that we are told he had guns in he’s house. And something could have happen and the school had just blown it all off.

Well its 2 30 and I’m getting a little tired. So

Peace love and all that other bullshit


http://www.livejournal.com/users/aaroneffect/
 

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not trying to be funny but...
visit a psychiatrist (sp?)



and what that your school did or actually didn't do is stupid
 

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Ivan Petrov
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Calum said in post #5 :
I'll just put this simply your either an attention seeking loser or just a TWAT i'd go with TWAT
You shouldn't judge a book by it's cover, Calum. Aaron is a nice guy, he's going through some tough times. I know from talking to the guy. However you do not know WR from Adam(and by that I mean the biblical figure not the Mod).
 

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Discussion Starter #7
Calum said in post #5 :
I'll just put this simply your either an attention seeking loser or just a TWAT i'd go with TWAT
Now can you please tell me how one actually becomes a “Twat” I mean I do believe it’s not even a word. After looking it up I found this

NOUN: 1. Vulgar Slang The vulva. 2. Offensive & Vulgar Slang A woman or girl.

Now first off I am not a girl or women. So that completely throws that insult out the window. And I’m pretty sure I’m not planning on becoming one any time soon so I’m sorry but I am not a twat.

Next an “attention seeking loser”
Yes sure why not I’m an attention seeker. But who isn’t? I mean isn’t that why we come on the net? To seek attention. Or I guess look at gay porno like you my friend” See sounds pretty dumb when someone says something they don’t know for sure now doesn’t it” And yes I am a loser. But what can you do about it?
 

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If your sad or depressed at anytime listen to some music i suggest Korn because the lead singer has had issues like you man. I was in grade 8 when all this stuff hit me and shit and i hated myself but yeah my friend played some korn and let me borrow it for some reason i played it like 3 times and yeah i understood that other people have issues and shit..Sorry this is HARD to explain but try borrowing Korns First album or somthing if u ever wanna try that way..
 

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Discussion Starter #11
Goatnce said in post #8 :
If your sad or depressed at anytime listen to some music i suggest Korn because the lead singer has had issues like you man. I was in grade 8 when all this stuff hit me and shit and i hated myself but yeah my friend played some korn and let me borrow it for some reason i played it like 3 times and yeah i understood that other people have issues and shit..Sorry this is HARD to explain but try borrowing Korns First album or somthing if u ever wanna try that way..
I have every korn cd there is, And i have suffered from depression for over 9 years now. Trust me i know how it works. and it just kind of comes and goes and yes your right about korn. I am all so one for staind and sound garden.. but yes thank you
GP it's aaron :p
And lee i find most of anything you have to say boring and repetive as well. But hey i don't complain. As you are not as well. Just i keep my mouth shut cause well whats the point?Ya
 

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......right.....

Happy Birthday. <3


Dude, I think your friends have the same reaction to a persons suicidal depression moods that I and others I know have....it's confusion and anger as we try to figure out why anyone would want to take their own lives or die at such a young age, at all. Suicide is fucking pointless. Your parents gave you life, now do something with it instead of being depressed and talking about how you want to die. A friend can only hear the "I want to die" crap so many times before they get sick of it. I'm not trying to be an asshole...just telling it like it is IMO. I'm a manic depressant, which means I'm depressed most of the time. But not once have I thought "I want to die" or "suicide seems tempting". Why? Because that's not fair to my family and friends. Simple as that. Go to your doctor, get some anti-depressants, and for God's sake cheer up. People can be such downers.
 
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People who want to kill themselves don't want to live...so WHY would they want to cheer up?
 

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Blood for the Blood God! Skulls for the Skull Thro
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Because once they cheer up then they won't want to die anymore, duh.

Aaron, just chill man, everyone has problems - thats just life. Sure you may not have the easiest or best life but you should do something positive about it, not thinking about suicide.
 
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That's not necessarily true. Some people hate life because they have to live and work and shit.

I say fuck them, right?
 

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Well In my opinion suicide is a bit pointless really I mean life maybe tough and stuff and you may be going through a hard time but it will get better eventually.

And don't listen to Korn they're shit. ;)
 

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woo i had somthing smart to say. and yeah korn helps issues like that so much.
 

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Originally posted by Goatnce
If your sad or depressed at anytime listen to some music i suggest Korn because the lead singer has had issues like you man. I was in grade 8 when all this stuff hit me and shit and i hated myself but yeah my friend played some korn and let me borrow it for some reason i played it like 3 times and yeah i understood that other people have issues and shit..Sorry this is HARD to explain but try borrowing Korns First album or somthing if u ever wanna try that way..
Why listen to music that would only keep you in a down and negative mood?Wouldn't that worsen the problem? I suggest writing in a journal about everything you want changed in the world and about the daily stuff that you are going through. Try to stay positive man or you might end up turning into another Eric or Dylan.
 
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