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Well since I'm bored, I'm going to see if I can do better then the crap I've been watching lately.


Raw starts of whith Erics grinning face.

High lights of Vinces ultimatum and Biscoff's Austin hunt last week.

The Raw opening

J.R. welcomes us to Raw from (insert city here)
Lawler tells us he can't wait to find out our G.M.'s fate here tonight.
J.R. tells us the main event for the evening will be Scott Steiner vs. Batista.

D-lo Browns music hits, Brown and his manager Theodore Long make their way to ring side.
Long demands the mic,
"My name is Theodore Long and standing beside me is a man who has been descriminated against because of the colour of his skin, Oh sure Jim Ross will tell you that's untrue well let me ask you this, how many black men have been world champion. Hey, Mr. Ross will tell you that men like D-LO Brown have had just as many oppertunities as the next guy, Well the fact of the matter is the only oppertunities Jim Ross has ever given a black man was to cut his grass"

Ross-"This is absurd."

Long-"Well tonight, we force things to change around here. Then everyone from Jim Ross to Spike Dudly will be forced to be Down with the Brown"

Spike Dudly's music hits

Spike makes his way to the ring and is attacked by D-Lo.D=Lo continues an attack of stiff forarms and kicks.D-lo goes for a quick sky high but some how Spike reverses, Spike whith headbutts to the abdomin, then goes for a dropkick but Brown brushs it away. D-lo hits a suplex, then hits the low down, 1-2-3.

Long raises D-lo's hand in victory.

Camera's take us to Eric's ofice were the G.M. and Morely discuss tonight

Morely-"What are we going to do, what am I going to do. You know if you hadn't screwed your chances with Austin last week"
Eric-"I don't want to hear it, we still have time, I just have to think"

Just then Jericho walks in the door

Y2J-"Eric, am I glad to see you. Listen what happened last week with Steiner that was a mistake, Iwas totally distracted. I mean come on, there's no way Steiner would beat me THE King of the World, if the match had of been fair, you have to set this right"

Eric- "look I'm a little busy here, We'll talk about this later"

Y2J- "Well no offence but, lets face facts Eric, your not going to be around later if you don't do something big. And Eric, just think of the ratingspolooza that would storm in if you gave me a chance to get my number one contendership back. Hell it would save your job.

Eric- "Fine tonight it will be Steiner vs. Batista vs. You vs. Test in an elimination match for the title shot at No Way Out

Y2J- " wow wow wow back the reality truck back, Test. Test can't be in this match"

Eric- "Listen untill the end of this show I'm still the boss and what I say goes no get out"

Commercials

Carrot top tells us to dial down the center in like 5 different commercials.

We come back with the slam of the week but really who the fuck cares that the four hhhorsemen attacked dreamer last week.

Tommy Dreamer heads to the ring, singapore cane and all.
Jeff Hardys music hits and for some reason 10 year old girls everywhere cheer.
Jeff comes out with the usual cum on his face and makes his way to the ring.
The bell rings and the two lock up, Hardy with an arm bar, then leg sweeps Dreamer, into a headlock. Dreamer counters, irish whips Hardy to the ropes, then into an abdominal stretch. Hardy reverses it into a abdominal stretch of his own. Dreamer counters with a hip toss, clothesline, then Dreamer backbody drops Hardy
over the ropes, Jeff looks apperantly distraught over his inability to get the upperhand. He then grabs a chair and enters the ring, he goes to swing at Dreamer but the ref grabs the chair alowing Dreamer to get the DDT and the victory. After the match Hardy shoves Dreamer which causes Tommy to take Jeff's head of with the cane(because Jeff Hardy being hit with stuff will equal ratings)

We the go to the parking lot the Coach is waiting for the arival of Mr. McMahon. He tells us Vince hasn't arived yet but he'll keep us posted

We see a Sean O'Haire Promo

"It's nice isn't it, Well go on take it, You know you want it, What are the chances of being caught, Thats right ZERO, I mean people take things from you all the time you don't hear you complaining,
You have others thing you need to spend your money on, Just take it, They raise the price on those things so much that if one goes missing it's no skin off their back, That's right they don't care, And if they do care, Screw them.
Hey, I'm not telling you anything you don't allready know."

More Commercials, apparently using Mary Jane increases my chances of getting laid, alright chalk one up for the good guys

We come back and were in Gravity's, um I HHH's locker room

HHH- do you realize, uh, what you can do, uh, tonight, uh, Batista, you can elimate, uh, Scott Steiner, uh

Flair- "That's right, tonight big man you got a chance to prove that your the future, the next step in evolution, baby. Do you understand how big tonight is, and after you take out the competition, we're going to hit the road and party.

HHH- "tonight's, uh, your big night, uh, lets show Steiner, uh, that he's not in our, uh, league"

We go to ringside were Maven is waiting in the ring,
Chris Nowinski's music plays as he makes way to the ring
(I don't feel like going this move fore move anymore, so)
Maven picks up the victory and as he's leaving Nowinsky Challenges him to a match at No Way Out were the loser has to give up their WWE contract and leave.

Commercials, In the mid 90's tobbacco companies targeted gays and homeless people, so this means Jeff Hardy is a smoker.

We come back with Terri interveiwing Booker T

He tells us Goldust is in intensive care and that he blames himself for what happened last week (He should blame Earl Hebner who told Book Goldie was at his hotel, I never new Goldust was Canadian, because he was shure screwed when Booker left)
He tells us he will get revenge on Batista and Ornton, and that Batista should watch his back in the main event.

We go to the locker room were Kane and RVD are talking about last week

RVD- "Look no hard feeling on last weeks match"
Kane- "We had to face eachother, don't worry about it"
RVD- "Well I mean I did make you think I was injured
Kane- " It's fine"
RVD- "And then I even kicked you in the face when you were obviously concerned about your's truly."
Kane- "That's in the past, but tonight we have a shot at Reagel and Storm for the Tag Team Titles. We have to concentrate on whats at hand."
RVD- "Dude, mellow out. It's no big deal, hey whataya say after we win the belts we go out on the town."
Kane- "No
RVD- "Why not, are you trying to tell me your not a wild man, look at you I bet the ladies flock to you when they see you."
Kane- "I would much rather hurt people then party with them."

Kane walks away

RVD- " Hey thats cool, but then again everythings cool when your R,V,D."

Commercials, Subway bought Jared a house and tommorow he's going to paint it.

We come back to ring side.

Kane and RVD's music play they come out.
Storm and Reagel come out and they get it on
Kane domminates for untill 3 minuite warning and their gay stylelist comes out and get the champs D.Qed, the Dudleys come down and all hell brakes loose. Finally Eric comes out and says that at the ppv it'll be a fatal 4-way for the straps

commercail, I guess a dollar is worth alot if you dial 10-10-220 cause Alf said so

The main event Test comes out, then Steiner, then Batista, then Y2J,
match goes on for a while and Booker comes out and attacks Batista causing Test to pin him, Book and Batista battle up the ramp and backstage, later Test hits Jericho with the Big Boot but Christian runs down and hits him with a chair, Jericho pins Test.

We cut to commercail during the match, Stacker 2 is now being sold buy the mafia and apparently Trish Status is the mob boss's ho

We come back and they show us what happened durring the break the continues on for a while untill HBK comes down, he attempts to Super Kick Jericho but he ducks and Shawn hits Steiner, Shawn can't beleive it as he walks back up the ramp holding his head realizing he just scewed up as Y2J gets the win

We go to the parking lot were Vince finally shows up, Coach asks him about the 30 days, and Vince tells hims he will announce Eric's in the ring

Commercails, More Carrot Top asking his date to pay cause he forgot his wallet, hey I'm starting to like this guy

We come back and No Chance plays
Vince makes his way to the ring

Vince- "I know you all want to know Eric Bischoff's future, so Eric get your ass down here."

Eric comes down to the ring with out entrence music

Vince- "30 days ago Eric I told you that you needed to shake Raw's foundations, and since that time the most you've done is break a beermug over some redneck in a Texas bar, I what I will never understand is your ground breaking news was inviting Austin to a ppv that is after your 30 days. Now Eric that doesn't excactly tell me that you have done anything has it. But I'm a fair man so I'll give you one more chance to impress me."

Eric- "Fine, you want to be impressed, I'll impress you. At Noway out it'll be Booker T vs Batista, Test vs. Christian, and HBK vs. Scott Steiner."

Vince- "Is that supposed to impres me Eric, I mean any moron could come up with those matchs, even a fat drunk Canadian on a wrestling forum, could come up with that."

Eric- "Well just give me another week to reddeam myself, please I beg you"

Vince- "Tell you what Eric I'm not going to tell you your fired tonight."

Eric- "Thankyou, Thankyou, you won't regret this."

Vince- " No I wont say "Your Fired" instead I'll tell you that, Eric your services are no longer required."

Eric- "No, No, you can't do this to me you'll regret this"

Sucurity takes Eric away

Vince- "Oh, by the way. I hear Turner's thinking about starting another promotion maybe you can get a job with him.


Raw ends


Well there ya go, tell me what ya think

And if you got a problem with the spelling mistakes go suck on a lemon
 

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Pretty cool, I think the WWE should take some lessons form the people on these forums.
 
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