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Discussion Starter #1 (Edited)
This is quite long, so I didn't bother reading again to check for grammar (heck, it's just a forum) .. but it's something I really wanted to talk about.

I'm not sure if you guys consider this "young." I guess I'll see in the responses.

I'm a Sophomore in college, age 19. All of the girls I will be talking about are age 19/20. I'll be telling their stories and how I know each one. Then I'll get to my point/question.

Girl 1: One of my good friends got her first boyfriend in September of 2009 in her freshman year in college. They broke up a couple days, but another guy liked her and they've been dating since then. He's been away for most of the time they've been dating because he's wanting to be in the Air Force. This past summer, (not even one year of dating,) he proposed to her and she said yes. They were only together a couple months under a year before it happened. The wedding is this weekend and she invited our family and we'll be attending. She's REALLY excited. Every single Facebook status she has, she talks about her fiance and refers to him as her "airman" and she talks about his parents/family and refers to them as "soon to be mother/father/sister in-law" anytime she mentions them. She'll move in with her boyfriend, who currently lives north of Vegas for Air Force training.

Girl 2: This girl was very close friends with the first girl, until high school graduation. This girl goes to school four hours, so their friendship hasn't been the same, but they still talk on Facebook. (I imagine she'll be at the wedding .. not 100% sure.) I'm also on the same boat with the first girl. I was friends with this girl, but only have seen her once and that was during last year when she came home for winter break. Anyway, around spring 2010, she found a guy she really liked and they are currently together. This part is just my assumption, but because her best friend from high school got engaged, she was happy, but at the same time, jealous. I'm also guessing she told her boyfriend how much she wished she was engaged, just like her friend. With that said, a couple of days ago, she wrote on her Facebook that she got engaged, even though she hasn't been with this guy for a year. Not quite sure when they'll be getting married, considering they got engaged this week.

Girl 3: Someone who I became good friends with during my freshman year in college. We went out on one date, but as I got to know her, I had no interest to be in a relationship with her (you'll see why.) Before we went out on a date, I later learned she was engaged twice (she was 19 before our first date.) She immediately finds another guy after a breakup. (After she broke up with her second ex-fiance, she wanted to go out with me.) Oddly, I never got the impression that she was the type of girl who dates a guy she sees. When I knew about her commitment to school and her family, I was thrown off to learn she was in several relationships. We were not Facebook friends until after the first date, so didn't know much. One night, I checked her Facebook and past photos and learned all of this. She eventually admitted some of this to me. She has been engaged twice after our one-time date, making it a total of four engagements. She is currently on her fourth engagement. She told me she met this guy online and it all happened in two weeks. It was her first time finding someone online. She and I still talk, but I haven't seen her personally in a long time. Her wedding will be in the summer (one can wonder if the wedding will happen..)

Girl 4: This girl is best friends with girl 3. Girl 3 introduced me to her. I actually have respect for this girl. She's been with her boyfriend for over a year (almost two) and they got engaged this summer before being together for two years. I think she is currently 20 or 21. Maybe young to some people, but at least she's been with the guy and knows him and his family well.

Before I move on, I want to make it clear that I'm not jealous. I'm happy for the first three girls (as well as the fourth.) However, and I hate to feel this way because I'm usually positive, but I'm worried about the first three. I think it's obvious why there are concerns for girl 3. But the first 2, they got engaged less than a year.

I've been in a couple relationships throughout high school and college. While being with a couple of girls and seeing how these girls are doing, I thought to myself that I could NEVER propose to a girl if we haven't been together for a year. Although I'll say this, if I do have interest in a girl and if we are in a relationship, I think about what it would be like if we got married one day. But that is it .. I don't give it a deep thought unless we've been together and have had a lot more highs than lows. There is a lot I want to go through with a girl before taking things to the highest level in a relationship such as going on a few dates, being together for at least a year, maybe two, try living together for a bit and see how we go from there.

I don't feel the need to be involved in a fast-paced relationship, let alone the fact that I'm not in a hurry to be married at this age. I want to finish college and have a (real) job.

Once again, I'm happy for all of them and will pray for them. All of them are thrilled and excited, as they should! At the same time, I am a bit worried.

What do you guys make of all this? Is this your style? Or are you the type of person that takes things slow? I'm sure everyone wants this, but other than a death of a loved one and losing my job, the other thing I don't want in my long-term goals in life is to get a divorce. Especially with kids, for obvious reasons. I feel being involved in a nice, smooth, healthy and slow paced relationship will help prevent that.

Like I said about girl 2, sometimes a friend will see another friend doing something and they feel the need to do it. A good example would be drinking in high school. One friend does it, another does it, then all of a sudden, the individual feels they MUST follow the crowd. Maybe I'm wrong, but I have a feeling that when her friend got engaged, she wanted the same thing.

Curious to know your thoughts.
 

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Marriage isn't defined by age, nor time spent together. If it feels right, and they love each other, what's stopping them getting married?
 

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^ That logic is all well and good, but I think a major thing to consider is that when you're 19, you don't really know who you are yet. I'm 23, and I'm different from the person I was at 21, and way different from who I was at 19. In just four years I've changed a lot, and I think that applies in one way or another to most people. You don't want to marry at 19 and be living essentially with a totally different person four years later, especially if that person has changed in a way that makes them incompatible with you.

You have to be happy with the person you are before you can be happy with another person, in my view.

Food for thought.
 

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Right now I'm 19, and this may be because my parents were never married, but I just don't see any reason to be married. I mean, I enjoy my personal space, and while I do love my girlfriend, I don't believe I could get married...not to anyone. It's just something I don't desire and seems like more hassle than it's worth

Will edit once properly read btw

I know it's their choice, but personally I say that's WAY too fast to be proposing. Maybe it's just the way I think, but I believe the desire of getting married is more of a female thing than a male thing. That's not to say that males can't have the desire of the whole marriage dream or wanting to be married, but it just feels like alot of the time people will do it to make the other person happy more than it being because person A wants to do it.

I mean the first year or so will probably be where everything goes "smoothly". To get married within the first year is kinda...well moving too fast imo.
 

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I think 19 is pretty you to be getting married. I know a couple that go married right out of high school, and 3 months later, she was pregnant. Just had the kid not too long ago, and while I'm happy for them, part of my mind is thinking that they got started way too early.
 

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I don't believe in marriage so I think marrying at any age could be seen as stupid and a mistake.

That said, I know I will get married someday because I'll meet the right girl and it'll be what she wants and I'm a selfless kinda guy that way.

Plus, in the later years of life - not being married can become a real pain in the arse if tragedy strikes. Like if your whole life is interwined and you live like a married couple (house together and all that shit) - but aren't married and one of you dies, it can leave the other person with a lot of shit red tape to deal with in getting anything they are entitled to and stuff like that.

It happened to my cousin, she had to provide all kinds of stuff to try and prove they were a long term couple (even though they had two teenage children together) to get stuff she was entitled to and all this nonsense.
 

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Discussion Starter #7
I agree with the everyone except for Stone.

But no, I'm not saying there should be an age limit to this, but it would feel more mature and better, etc. Not to mention you will have a career/job, hopefully after getting a degree. I'm not saying that you can't fall deeply in love. What I'm saying, when it comes to other things in life, such as money, how stable can you be at a young age? I don't know if the first girl get some benefits being with the guy because he's in the Air Force. I imagine so. But not everyone is getting married to someone who is in the army, navy, etc.

Anyway, it was hard for me to describe my feelings on the thing, but the three posters above me said it better than I could.
 

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It's weird to see all my old high school friends getting engaged/married recently. Some of them even have kids too, and a lot of them aren't even 20. Too young IMO.
 

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It's weird to see all my old high school friends getting engaged/married recently. Some of them even have kids too, and a lot of them aren't even 20. Too young IMO.
:agreed: But if they are happy with that then I dont see anything wrong but for me I wouldn't consider marriage after I'm 28 but anything vsn happen
 

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Marriage isn't defined by age, nor time spent together. If it feels right, and they love each other, what's stopping them getting married?
This. People need to stay out of other people's business.

Note: tl;dr, just replying to this post in a general early marriage gist way.
 

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This. People need to stay out of other people's business.

Note: tl;dr, just replying to this post in a general early marriage gist way.
IT's not so much being in other peoples business, as just voicing an opinion. I've seen couple get married at 18 (older brothers friends) and they are still going strong. But I've seen the opposite happen too. It really just depends on the people getting married. But I still think 18-22 is a bit too young to get married. It is for me anyways.
 
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