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Is Steamed Hams Klebold?


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BLACK MARKET SMILIES
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5,431 Posts
Discussion Starter #1
Exploited for our entertainment, goals and footballing financial gain, strikers endure terrible cruelty, abuse and neglect at the hands of their owners all around the world. Michael Owens brutally and needlessly retired in the name of hamstring injuries. Andy Carrolls cruelly farmed out to clubs way above their station for a ridiculous profit. Strikers caged and abused as tourist attractions like Ronaldo during his tenure as a slave at Manchester United. Wild Carlton Coles illegally and inhumanely released into captivity before being recaptured and kept in worse conditions.

Strikers are the victims. There owners are the problem. It is only people – people like you – that can provide the solution.

:heskeymania

This wild Emile Heskey is hungry and homeless, without an owner to feed him chances, without an owner to give him a home. This abused Heskey's former owner neglected him while watching hours and hours of Simpsons' reruns back to back, making terrible smileys of Stephen Ireland and neg repping online wrestling forum users who thought that Aston Villa and England were boring. Heskey's former owner was more interested in stocking up on luxury items such as 8PM pyjamas and hot water bottles, instead of feeding Heskey chances and keeping his home safe and secure. All that Heskey wants is an owner who loves him. You could be that person...

FOR JUST $4.75 A MONTH YOU COULD KEEP EMILE HAPPY, FULL OF CHANCES AND SAFE FROM THE DANGERS OF THE STRIKER SCRAP HEAP.

Please set up a monthly direct debit gift to simple machines and become a striker Protector. With your gift, you will help protect strikers, such as Emile, around the world from cruelty and suffering. You could stop abuse, neglect, horrific cruelty and slaughter. You could save Emile's life.

Save a Heskey this Christmas. Feed the Heskey, let him know it's Christmas time...

 

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The Sundance Kid
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18,454 Posts
if you need money for heskeyforum just set up a paypal or something I'm sure people wouldnt mind kicking a few cents your way every month
 

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BLACK MARKET SMILIES
Joined
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5,431 Posts
Discussion Starter #11
Yep. Gotta say that your smiley making skills have improved since then though :gabby

Looks like the CGS virus is affecting video makers too now :hayden3
 

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BLACK MARKET SMILIES
Joined
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5,431 Posts
Discussion Starter #13
Yep, although I've got to say you're getting better :gabby

The CGS virus seems to be affecting video makers too now :hayden3
 

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Suzuki-gun
Joined
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10,402 Posts
Yep, although I've got to say you're getting better :gabby

The CGS virus seems to be affecting video makers too now :hayden3
 

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BLACK MARKET SMILIES
Joined
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5,431 Posts
Discussion Starter #15
Fuckern servers, wouldn't get this problem over at Heskey Forum :brodgers

Oh wait...
 

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Ben Wyatt's Low Cal Calzone Zone
Joined
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5,893 Posts
Yep, although I've got to say you're getting better :gabby

The CGS virus seems to be affecting video makers too now :hayden3
Yep, although I've got to say you're getting better :gabby

The CGS virus seems to be affecting video makers too now :hayden3
Looks more like a Cookie Monster virus imo :hayden3
 

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BLACK MARKET SMILIES
Joined
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5,431 Posts
Discussion Starter #20
CGS, are you insinuating that every person who funds this wonderful cause will get to have a go on Mozza's ma? $2 into her pocket while your knob slides into her other pocket :brodgers
 
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