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STILL learning kayfabe
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413 Posts
Here is my review

LESNAR! (Think about why I put that)

Going into the intro, you say "Now I must warn fans this show aint no PG show like Vince puts on, There will be Blood lots of violence, swearing, weapons and PAIN! Every match there's no disqualifications, you can pin anywhere or make them submit or just knock somebody the fuck out!" Now, you say this isn't a PG show, you didn't say what show it is because if you were looking for a TV-14 show, you can't say "fuck" rather bleep that out. If you were looking for a TV-Mature show, it wouldn't be on TNT. Just to let you know, not even on TNA do they say "fuck", only hell, damn, bitch and ass. Although if the show is at 12 or 1am, then I think you can swear as much as you like. That is something to think about.

"I can't wait to see the reaction of Vince and Dixi-" Dixi? Dixie.

Nice intro. It was solid, brief but to the point. A main event, underground, for the attitude era fans show that the whole family can love or change the channel to.

I don't mind the whole **[insert action here]**. It's not bad. But it's not the best.

"Raven picks Helms up and throws him to the ropes, as Helms comes back he dodges a closeline-" Clothesline?

"-and pile drives him thru-" Through.

You mispell alot. Lesnar and not Lesner. Extreme and not Extream. Etc.

Trying to ignore the spelling, "** Camras show Paul Heyman on the phone in the back **

Heyman: So you want in on the EWF? Ok you have a try out match next week you win we will talk on contract.....Ok see you next week


** Back in the ring..."

Other than the ** you missed, you really made that extremely brief, for example you could have described the setting a bit, gave more of a dialogue, etc.

I see you are putting on the first match in EWF history as a starting up feud?

Your last match was solid. Brock LESNAR is the new champion. Keep that feud going. It is your best feud right now, if it is a feud to say.

To be honest, it was not bad at all. It was a bit above average. It could have been a lot worse. But you must improve your spelling and get the terms right. Maybe add more in terms of segments. You don't have to. It was a solid show but are you making a show of straight crowd-requested wrestling matches...like a dream show or are you making a show with feuds, storylines and a reason for the crowd to tune in tomorrow, attend the shows and be in the next pay-per-view. Solid show but definitely, room for improvement.

EWF Overall Score: 65/100
 
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