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929 Posts
Discussion Starter #1
This was just a dream.

Another wonderful fantasy where my greatest wishes were perceived as a faux reality. The waves and the dolphins sung to me with an orchestrated harmony and awkwardly I danced through the living forest of kelp. I laughed, maybe even wholeheartedly and within my laughter gave birth to delicate bubbles that ascended like a herd of newborn seahorses. In unison, they pranced out of my mouth to forage on the sweet remnants of reality. They say that dreams are only real as long as they last. Couldn't you say the same thing about life?

Right now – is the only instant.

Right now- is eternity.

Right now- it’s time for you to wake up.

“The trick is to combine your waking rational abilities with the infinite possibilities of your dreams. Because, if you can do that, you can do anything,” Naomi said staring at me in a seated position on the subway train. “Something you’re really good at.”

“I’m still dreaming. You’re not here.”

“Well you’re right about one thing. Allow me to meet you half way,” she whispered as she suddenly appeared two seats down from me.

“Still a dream, just like I thoug-“

“No, it’s not like you thought, but in a sense it’s exactly as you thought.”

“You aren’t making any sense.”

She suddenly appeared on the other side of me. “YOU aren’t making any sense.”

“You’re crazy you know that?”

“You’re crazy do YOU know that?”

Just when I thought I couldn’t hate her anymore she invades my dreams and makes a mockery of my subconscious.

“Don’t copy me!”

I scolded while trying to make the meanest looking face that I could possibly muster up. Even I knew my meanest impression wouldn’t scare a little kid in the dead of the night.

She went silent as she once again appeared across from me with her legs folded and arms crossed. Her eyes locked onto mine with the precision of a tomahawk missile. Those eyes – like a pair of illuminati symbols delved deep into the moral fabric of my soul and saw every little intricate detail.

“You made me.”

The lights on the train flickered as Naomi vanished in the split second that the transport went dark.

It was now that I realized that the select few on the train were staring at me with questioning looks gracing their face. A glance towards an elderly woman and her sibling prompted her to grasp on to her child tighter as she wrapped her arms around her head, holding what I presumed to be her daughter closer to her chest.

A homeless person leaned closer into his seat and nodded in my direction with a shit eating grin smothered across his face. His tainted yellow clothing could have doubled as swiss cheese with the amount of holes it sheltered. He chuckled and before long his chuckling evolved into full fledged laughter baring his rotted mandible and fangs. Slowly his laugh subsided and died down into a whimpering cough as he slumped back into his seat, picking at tiny morsels of crumbs stuck in his stripped cotton gloves.

“They think you’re absolutely wacko you know,” Naomi appeared to the right hand side of me and placed her head on my shoulder.

“I’m not crazy.”

“Realizing you have a problem is the first step to recover.”

“I told you, I’m not c-”

“Crazy? I beg to differ. You’re looney, off your rocker, few screws short of a full toolbox, a –“

“Stop it! I didn’t read your letter and I don’t want to see you again! Not now, not ever!”

“How curious, you see me every day when you look in the mirror.”
I went to yell at her but she was no longer there.

The moment the next stop came I quickly departed. The stares of the fellow passengers were starting to worry me and for whatever bizarre reason I couldn’t get a grasp of what was a dream and what was reality.

I’ve never had this problem before have I?

Doors of the subway train behind me closed as the lights continued to flicker with an intermitted rhythm.

The train propelled down the subway tunnel but it wasn’t the train that was moving. The subway platform itself moved along a horizontal track as the train stood still.

“I guess this is how a crazy person must feel. To remain in a state of constant departure while always arriving.” Naomi said as she stood by my side not nearly as surprised as I was. “But I know… I know.. your not crazy. Tell that to the guys that you found in your apartment.”

As she walked away I turned to confront her only to find myself back at my apartment front door. Naomi opened the door with a mocking surprised look on her face. “Oh! I didn’t see you there, aren’t you going to come in?”

“How did we get here?”

“I dunno – this is your BBQ I’m just enjoying the sweet and tangy psychosis” she grinned and opened the door wider. The once butterflies in my stomach began to march in formation again. Their reinforcements had came.

My apartment was still a mess and the bodies once more laid in their infinite stillness.

The one in the closet…

The one in the bathroom…

If only the feeling of nostalgia died with them.

Naomi showed up behind me with a cup of hot cocoa. “I think this should help.”

“Why did you kill them?” I asked her bluntly.

“Who Them? You think I killed them. Nonononono. You got this all wrong baby. I wasn’t the one that killed them. You did.”

“You’re lying.”

“Would I lie to you?”


“No hun. I wouldn’t - if anything I’m the one person that you can trust. Like I said before. I’m you. I’m the part of you that doesn’t get walked over for being so nice. I’m the part of you that isn’t held down by moral constraints of what’s right and what’s wrong. I’m the part of your conscious that you’ve suppressed for your entire life for…what exactly? I don’t know. But what I do know is that I’ve been so suppressed I’ve taken on an identity of my own.

Do you like it? She’s pretty cute huh?

Wait! Don’t answer that. Because I already know what you’re going to say believe it or not.

Speechless? I’m sorry for having you go through the whole damsel in distress thing. I knew you couldn’t help but attempt to save someone in need of help. Even if that person was you. You should have seen the look on your face!”

Naomi slapped her knee and bent over as she grasped her stomach due to her obnoxious laughter.

“Oh God! HAHAHA! Everyone in that station was staring at you like some kind of freak and the entire time you thought they were looking at me.

Come on…

Come on...

Laugh with me. Surely you can find the comedy in it all can’t you?”

“I don’t believe you! What about the newspaper? What about the guys in the apartment?! Huh?! We went and had coffee! I left you here!”

“You sat at that coffee table talking to yourself. To be honest with you Dren, I’ve never left your side. That whole newspaper article was just a fabric of your own wild imagination. Even now I can imagine that you are having a difficult time trying to tell what’s real and what’s not.”

I grasped the wall slowly and lowered myself into a sitting position the floor to keep everything from spinning.

“Just stop… stop talking.”

“Oh and these three dead guys in your apartment. Now that’s an interesting story…”

“I said stop!”

Clasping my hands against my ears I attempted to shut her out but to no avail. Naomi’s memories became my memories as everything she did was what I was doing. She wasn’t the one standing over me and making a comedic special of my life. It was me.

“It’s always been you.”

I saw the 0’s and 1’s. The language of Naomi’s insanity was all fabricated by my subconscious. The three guys that had come to the apartment were police officers who believed that I was crazy due to a phoned in tip from the land lord. I answered the door but it was Naomi who opened it.

“I couldn’t be more different than you even if I wanted to, but I don’t hate you just to let you know. I hate the fact that I’m stuck within you. Someone so self righteous and pure who refuses to do wrong by anyone. It makes me want to throw-“

She vanished.

There was a knock on the door.

I stopped and stared.

Knock Knock Knock. The knocks echoed through the cramped apartment building like bass drums thumped before a war. My heart beat thumped in unison with the knocks and eventually I couldn’t tell which was which.

Do I answer? I don’t want to risk anymore lives-

Wood splinters propelled through the hall as the door was kicked off his hinges.


I took off as the cop reached behind and drew his 9MM pointed in my general direction.

“DAMNIT!” I heard him cry out as I jumped through the open window onto the fire escape.

“Why are you always running away from your problems? Always coming and never going” I heard Naomi’s voice in my head as she sighed.
I stopped running. The cop – the same cop that was just chasing me a moment ago laid dead in front of me with his face smashed to oblivion. Shards of teeth penetrated through his skin and came out of his nose and his jaw was definitely where his upper lip should have been.

“He was…

I was…

I..he… just”

Naomi’s head peered up from the fire escape ladder.

“Ever hear of the Columbian necktie? I like to call this particular masterpiece the Naomian necktie! I particularly like the part where I shatter his lower jaw and sent my palm from his mouth to the nasal cavity in his nose. Quick and painless. I’m sure you would have wanted it that way no?

“No. He can’t be..”

“Dead? As a doorknob. Lets make that Dren 4 – Vancouver Police Department Nil”

“This isn’t a game Naomi. You killed him!”

Correction: You killed them and this is a game!”

“Human lives aren’t a game!”

Correction again: This is all a big game. We’re just hacking it. More fun that way you know? Consider it the contra code. “
She swayed with movement in her words.

“Up Up – Down Down – Left – Right – Left – Right”
Naomi continued to narrate her speech by swinging side by side.

“B – A – select – start”

She appeared behind me once more.

“and then BOOM! 30 lives right there. Only we don’t get those lives. We take them. 30 lives… If there is only four police officers here, I wonder who else you’ve killed. Surely there has to be 26 other people out there. “

Maybe it was rage, maybe it was frustration or perhaps a little of both. Whatever it was it propelled me to tackle her over the fire escape ledge sending us hurtling towards the asphalt grave below. Within the height of our plunge she smiled. No terror in eyes, no fear – just a smile.

Gasping for air I awoke in my bed, drenched in a cold sweat that soaked my clothing and leeched it’s way into the sheets. Panting profusely, my lungs screamed for oxygen.

“Just a dream, it was just a dream. Phew.” I took a deep breath followed by another.

Knock Knock

The door slowly opened as Naomi peered her head around the wooden frame with a worried look on her face.

Premium Member
1,681 Posts
Couldn't stop reading from start to finish.

I loved it.

Can't wait to read the next one.

1,505 Posts
You know I always love what you throw out Dren, and this one was surely no exception. You and Izumi is starting to get personal, what is it, the 3rd time you go against each other (not necessarily one on one)?

Overall, I really liked this one, loved the "monologue" near the end. The RPs I love the most are normally those where the character just rambles away, and even though it wasn't exacly that (which in this case is not a bad thing at all) it still gave a good insight.

EPW Owner
4,267 Posts
You have been on a great run recently and this was no exception, the slow burn into Naomi Rose becoming a split personality was something I never would have expected and you have done it well and found a way to include the Contra Code!.

276 Posts
Wow. I remember when you first started off you were really rough around the edges. But now you're dropping shit like this? Very impressive.

306 Posts
I step away from EPW for a few months and come back and see this! Back in the day (and even recently) people talked about "rules", promo lengths, the way to set out your RP, and so on, but this just blew them all away. I don't know what happened before in your story, but that didn't matter whatsoever; the whole thing was self contained and like The Chris Fix above, it kept me hooked. I don't even need to talk in stilted terms like "dialogue" or "description": this told a vivid, believable and most importantly, interesting story. Top stuff.

929 Posts
Discussion Starter #7
Thank you everyone!

To say I'm thrilled that you guys liked the RP would be a great understatement. Win or lose, I'll always look towards these comments so that I can continue to progress.

Lost Soul might not remember this but he said,

Good stuff. Nice cliff hanger. You certainly have a grasp as to the style of your writing and I can get with it. You have a lot of potential and are showing the ability to maybe move in the ranks faster than a lot of newer people have been able to do in the past. I just have one suggestion that might make it easier on the reader and might make your stuff a bit smoother.

Spacing. You write in paragraphs. That's fine. But even in proper writing, conversations are not clustered into one paragraph.
Ever since then I've always been conscious of it when it came to writing conversations and worked to improve!

276 Posts
Thank you everyone!

To say I'm thrilled that you guys liked the RP would be a great understatement. Win or lose, I'll always look towards these comments so that I can continue to progress.

Lost Soul might not remember this but he said,

Ever since then I've always been conscious of it when it came to writing conversations and worked to improve!
So this is my doing? Dope.
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