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K, I have known this girl for about over a year now (November 2003), and I sort of ignored her a few months ago. Reason being, she was a real bitch to me, and was really verbally abusive. I also stopped talking to her because she had so much drama in her life: her parents hating her (they werent abusive, they just cared more about making tons of money, then about her, which I can affirm) she was abused by relatives, fell into the wrong crowds, drugs, blah blah blah. And the last thing that really put me off was that she told me she was pro-Hitler, (she moved here from Germany when she was 6, and her family put those beliefs in her head, and also had her in a nazi-type military school when she was 5.

I basically ignored her around December 2005 because we are exact opposites in almost every aspect in life, but there is that connection for some reason. I talked to her last on Sunday because I really do care about her, and I love her, its just our lives are totally different from each other and it sort of freaked me out. We talked and she told me that she had a boyfriend but he was 35 (shes 21) but she really wanted to get back with me. She then e-mailed me the next day telling him that she wanted to be with me and that would make her happy.

I told her that I still wanted to be with her, but only if she stopped being a bitch to me, and making up excuses because of her past and cut out that nazi shit, and she promised me that she would stop doing that and that she would be willing to work on bettering herself, and she felt the reason she was that way was because of the lack of parental involvement in her life, and the sort of friends she had.

So now I'm confused, because I have just graduated from high school and I want to get my own place and have my own life, and she wants to move in with me. And this will eliminate a few problems (hypothetically). I will be out of my parents house doing my own thing :), she will be away from her asshole parents :), I'll be the only person who actually cares about her (cuz her nice friends moved to different places, and one of her previous boyfriends died right in front of her from drug overdose, which is way she went downhill in life).

But I don't know, I mean there are positives, and the negatives are that some people who are troubled won't change, and that she'll pull shit with me and nothing will change. But another part of me can look beyond her past, and maybe help her, I mean she doesnt do drugs anymore and she says she got over her parents nazi beliefs and realize its bullshit (thats one of the other reasons she wants to get out of her parents house). And I'd be willing to help anyone become a better person, but I'm worried that she might not change.

I know its wrong but I am worried because of her past and things like that, and I also feel bad because I don't think its right to judge someone based on "who they were", and I should give her a chance, and I really havent been where she's been (far from it) so I have no right to judge her. But I do care about her and I'd hate to see her get worse, and I really feel like she could change. From my interpretation, it seems like she does get a lot of shit from people, and I feel bad for her, but I know she's also bringing it on herself by letting it keep her down.

So my question is this: should I give her another shot and get an apartment with her? It will eliminate a lot of the problems, and if it turns out she's still a bitch we can go our seperate ways after our 6 month lease is over and she go back to her whole thing. Or should I say **** it and just admit to myself that I'm a complete optimist, and that she's a lot cause and find someone who is better, even though I really love her and care about her, I just want to eliminate the negative aspects and bring out the true girl that I know is inside her.

Sorry for writing so much, and it prolly sounds really confused, I can elaborate more if needed :eek:
 

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#12
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3,113 Posts
Sorry but I got bored after the first paragraph. What's with all the girl advice lately? Call Loveline instead.
 

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DOOMED
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this dudes first post is asking for love advice? what the hell is going on around here maybe we should have a love advice forum or something....

Is she really really hot, if so use her and dump her.

^^^^ that might be totally wrong because I didnt bother reading more than the first two lines, but still.....
 

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Ya, get the appartment and lock her up. Pimp her and have yourself some fun too.
 

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The North Remembers
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To be honest. I only read the 1st paragraph....but that's all I think I need to read.

RUN! VERY FAST! WHY AREN'T YOU RUNNING YET?
 

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Ivan Petrov
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If you "love her and care for her". The answer is simple....give it ago. Maybe it works, maybe it doesn't.

Honestly, the best thing to do in any situation is go with your basic instinct. I'm guessing you want give it ago, because if you didn't you wouldn't be posting this and really wouldn't have given it much thought (again just guessing). But if you want to give it ago.

"Live as if your were to die tomorrow. Learn as if you were to live forever."

-Mahatma Gandhi
 

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Am I the only person who read the whole post?

As for your prob, I can't help you with that. Actually, I could, but I hate giving out love advice lately. It's silly that a thirteen year old can help a 16^ y/o with love advice. It's true.

Meh, since I'm feeling nice today, I'll give it a shot... I feel you should give her another shot, but you shouldn't get another apartment with her. Start going out with her more, and try to get to know her more. If you feel she is just another bitch, leave her alone. And if you feel that she wouldn't be a good girlfriend for you, then be friends with her before you risk anything else. Has she broken up with that 30 something boyfriend she has? That's the first thing you should worry about.

If you're just joining W-E to get some advice from us, then get the **** out of here. There's your advice. :D
 

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First off, it's difficult to change someone. You have to have a degree in psychology to really change someone immediately.

Second, my motto is this: You know you love her when you don't question her.

This motto means that if you have doubts and mixed feelings you don't love her.

I think the reason you want to hook up with her is because you don't have anyone else interesting in your life right now, correct? You have no alternatives so you have to make up excuses to give your only alternative a shot. This is wrong, don't settle for anything but the best. When I mean "best" I mean whatever YOU PERSONALLY FEEL is best. And if you have mixed feelings about this girl, I'm guessing that you're not following my motto and she's not "the best".

BUT!!! I will admit that sometimes things have a way of turning out, so if you have nothing to lose and no one else in your life right now, might as well go for it. Just as long as their are no consequences if it doesn't work out.
 

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lol that or flip a coin
heads being stay w/ her tails being let her go

if heads flip again
heads say moving in with her tails saying dates but not move in just yet

Hey you have a 1/4 chance of moving in with her and a 1/2 chance of staying with her and a
 

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HAIREH BAWWWWLS
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It's impossible for anybody here to give any relevant advice without actually knowing the dyanmics of the relationship. Yuh.

Follow your heart, innit.

Surely Amish must be worried that his wrestling forum's turning in to Dear Deidre?
 

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Kliqster said:
Surely Amish must be worried that his wrestling forum's turning in to Dear Deidre?
Maybe not. This could attract members, no? Afterall, this guy probably just joined to get some love advice. :no:

I
 

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HAIREH BAWWWWLS
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Well, it's a strange environment to flaunt your dirty laundry.

Next time my penis isn't functioning correctly, i'll be sure to pay the W-E Inn a visit.
 

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Move in a Apartment with her but Put the lease under your name. Don't put it under both. This way you can kick her out. If she goes to her old self.

I read the whole thing.

Sounds like alot of problem.

I suggest to move in with her. Give her a chance. But put the lease under ur name not shared.

Wait, Your 16 and she's 21?

5 years differents for her.

Odd but Ok?

Why is a 21 yr old intrested in 16 yr old?

Oh Well, Read whatever I said up there ^
 

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Bro Screw this shit just go and find someone your own age & with better looks and you'll fall in love with her even more than this gal, Besides you said it yourself shes a Bitch so you dont love her!!!! and please next time don't make me read that many letters!!!!!
 
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