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K, I have known this girl for about over a year now (November 2003), and I sort of ignored her a few months ago. Reason being, she was a real bitch to me, and was really verbally abusive. I also stopped talking to her because she had so much drama in her life: her parents hating her (they werent abusive, they just cared more about making tons of money, then about her, which I can affirm) she was abused by relatives, fell into the wrong crowds, drugs, blah blah blah. And the last thing that really put me off was that she told me she was pro-Hitler, (she moved here from Germany when she was 6, and her family put those beliefs in her head, and also had her in a nazi-type military school when she was 5.
I basically ignored her around December 2005 because we are exact opposites in almost every aspect in life, but there is that connection for some reason. I talked to her last on Sunday because I really do care about her, and I love her, its just our lives are totally different from each other and it sort of freaked me out. We talked and she told me that she had a boyfriend but he was 35 (shes 21) but she really wanted to get back with me. She then e-mailed me the next day telling him that she wanted to be with me and that would make her happy.
I told her that I still wanted to be with her, but only if she stopped being a bitch to me, and making up excuses because of her past and cut out that nazi shit, and she promised me that she would stop doing that and that she would be willing to work on bettering herself, and she felt the reason she was that way was because of the lack of parental involvement in her life, and the sort of friends she had.
So now I'm confused, because I have just graduated from high school and I want to get my own place and have my own life, and she wants to move in with me. And this will eliminate a few problems (hypothetically). I will be out of my parents house doing my own thing
, she will be away from her asshole parents
, I'll be the only person who actually cares about her (cuz her nice friends moved to different places, and one of her previous boyfriends died right in front of her from drug overdose, which is way she went downhill in life).
But I don't know, I mean there are positives, and the negatives are that some people who are troubled won't change, and that she'll pull shit with me and nothing will change. But another part of me can look beyond her past, and maybe help her, I mean she doesnt do drugs anymore and she says she got over her parents nazi beliefs and realize its bullshit (thats one of the other reasons she wants to get out of her parents house). And I'd be willing to help anyone become a better person, but I'm worried that she might not change.
I know its wrong but I am worried because of her past and things like that, and I also feel bad because I don't think its right to judge someone based on "who they were", and I should give her a chance, and I really havent been where she's been (far from it) so I have no right to judge her. But I do care about her and I'd hate to see her get worse, and I really feel like she could change. From my interpretation, it seems like she does get a lot of shit from people, and I feel bad for her, but I know she's also bringing it on herself by letting it keep her down.
So my question is this: should I give her another shot and get an apartment with her? It will eliminate a lot of the problems, and if it turns out she's still a bitch we can go our seperate ways after our 6 month lease is over and she go back to her whole thing. Or should I say **** it and just admit to myself that I'm a complete optimist, and that she's a lot cause and find someone who is better, even though I really love her and care about her, I just want to eliminate the negative aspects and bring out the true girl that I know is inside her.
Sorry for writing so much, and it prolly sounds really confused, I can elaborate more if needed
I basically ignored her around December 2005 because we are exact opposites in almost every aspect in life, but there is that connection for some reason. I talked to her last on Sunday because I really do care about her, and I love her, its just our lives are totally different from each other and it sort of freaked me out. We talked and she told me that she had a boyfriend but he was 35 (shes 21) but she really wanted to get back with me. She then e-mailed me the next day telling him that she wanted to be with me and that would make her happy.
I told her that I still wanted to be with her, but only if she stopped being a bitch to me, and making up excuses because of her past and cut out that nazi shit, and she promised me that she would stop doing that and that she would be willing to work on bettering herself, and she felt the reason she was that way was because of the lack of parental involvement in her life, and the sort of friends she had.
So now I'm confused, because I have just graduated from high school and I want to get my own place and have my own life, and she wants to move in with me. And this will eliminate a few problems (hypothetically). I will be out of my parents house doing my own thing
But I don't know, I mean there are positives, and the negatives are that some people who are troubled won't change, and that she'll pull shit with me and nothing will change. But another part of me can look beyond her past, and maybe help her, I mean she doesnt do drugs anymore and she says she got over her parents nazi beliefs and realize its bullshit (thats one of the other reasons she wants to get out of her parents house). And I'd be willing to help anyone become a better person, but I'm worried that she might not change.
I know its wrong but I am worried because of her past and things like that, and I also feel bad because I don't think its right to judge someone based on "who they were", and I should give her a chance, and I really havent been where she's been (far from it) so I have no right to judge her. But I do care about her and I'd hate to see her get worse, and I really feel like she could change. From my interpretation, it seems like she does get a lot of shit from people, and I feel bad for her, but I know she's also bringing it on herself by letting it keep her down.
So my question is this: should I give her another shot and get an apartment with her? It will eliminate a lot of the problems, and if it turns out she's still a bitch we can go our seperate ways after our 6 month lease is over and she go back to her whole thing. Or should I say **** it and just admit to myself that I'm a complete optimist, and that she's a lot cause and find someone who is better, even though I really love her and care about her, I just want to eliminate the negative aspects and bring out the true girl that I know is inside her.
Sorry for writing so much, and it prolly sounds really confused, I can elaborate more if needed