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Discussion Starter #1
1. John Cena is the son of Grimace. Sheamus is the evil clone of Ronald McDonald. A Happy Meal in a Playplace match is bound to happen at WrestleMania XXVII. Toys not included.

2. Monday Night Raw isn't John Cena's show. It's CM Punk's show. Just like it used to be Wade Barrett's show. Actually, it's anybody's show except for the actual General Manager.

3. Ted DiBiase....damn (shakes head and walks away)

4. That "Cobra" Santino pulled out when he opened that Christmas present for Tamina? I don't think it was the finisher he was referring to.

5. John Morrison won against Alex Riley, and decided that his title shot againt The Miz would be a falls count anywhere match, and it would happen next week. According to commentary, it works in Morrison's favor. According to reality, Morrison is fucked.

6. Tyson Kidd says he'll be United States Champion in 2011, and that he'd prove it tonight against Mark Henry. Turns out, not did Henry beat Kidd, but made Jackson Andrews his bitch. That's what happens you mess with a ratings draw. They never lose.

7. The Miz vs. Jerry Lawler: Part III has arrived. The match itself? 10 minutes of The Miz beating up Lawler, Lawler managing to throw Miz outside the ropes, and John Morrison costing Miz his match. Morrison seems to be on a roll here, he's embarrassed his old buddy twice now, which means he has a good ch....nah, he's still fucked.

8. Daniel Bryan is still a winner, The Bella Twins are still whores, The Miz is still pissed at Jerry Lawler, and Zack Ryder is still employed.

9. Natalya can't understand why Melina is being such a big meanie. I don't know either. Maybe it has something to with that big pink butterly thingy she has on her shoulder?

10. Gail Kim in the WWE is the female wrestling equivalent to Waluigi from the Mario series. One only shows up when theres more than 2 Divas in the ring, and the other one only shows up when theres more than 2 characters in the game. Ah well, at least she isn't Toadsworth.

11. I don't know why King Sheamus tells the crowd to get on their knees. It dosen't work for Jack Swagger. It dosen't work for The Miz. And if the 40 year old males sitting in the row behind the 10 year old girls try to do it, they'd be labeled pedophiles. What ever happend to the "aaaarrrrahahgghghh"?

12. Randy Orton is back to where he was before winning the WWE Championship a few months back - randomly winning matches but never winning titles. For some reason, I prefer it that way.

13. The only thing I learned from John Cena's promo is that calling CM Punk "CM Sucks" a bazillion times didn't catch on, and flopped on it's ass.

14. John Cena was a fool to turn David Otunga's truce down. Had he just shaken his hand, he would have found out that the A-List, knowing Cena was a chubby chaser, would've not only let him sleep with Jennifer Hudson, but provide him all the green M&Ms he could eat.

15. The Nexus is under new management going into 2011, and it's new leader is none other than CM Punk. You're either Nexus, or you smoke, drink, do drugs, wear purple, and / or spill someone's Diet Pepsi.


Happy New Year everyone!
 

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There is no duty we so much underrate as... being
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18,822 Posts
Best one of these in a while, Amsterdam. Every single one of these are funny and pretty much spot-on.

Is it just me, or do only main-eventers, John Morrison (because they like his entrance), Santino Marella and Mark "Ratings" Henry get full entrances on Raw anymore? I suspect they only gave Tyson Kidd and Jackson Andrews an entrance because they love the shots of them walking together to emphasize Jackson's size. Everybody else seemed shoehorned in around commercial breaks, and in the case of Zack Ryder and Daniel Bryan, they didn't even get one iota of an entrance, but rather were introduced as already-wrestling following a break.

Also, Melina's heel turn is the exact opposite of Tyson Kidd's: anticlimactic because it was too brief, too rushed and too sloppily concluded. And consequently nobody cares.
 

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Zombo
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8,767 Posts
I look forward to this thread each week, and this is some of your best work. I began reading with the intention of giving the "Number 4 is great" or whatever, but they ended up being rock solid top to bottom. Repped as usual.
 

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CM Sucks!
 

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A superhero that saves your GF from your sex game.
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Bro you're a fool, I agree with LadyCroft, this is your best one ever. Every single one of those had me dying laughing.

14. John Cena was a fool to turn David Otunga's truce down. Had he just shaken his hand, he would have found out that the A-List, knowing Cena was a chubby chaser, would've not only let him sleep with Jennifer Hudson, but provide him all the green M&Ms he could eat.
:lmao:lmao:lmao:lmao:lmao
 
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