GCW. THEY SAID IT COULDN'T BE DONE
Yes, I'm reviewing shows from February. SHUT UP
KTB vs Spyder Nate Webb ***1/2
This rocks. KTB is a big ugly hoss who moves really well, and kicks the shit out of Webb. Nate is as always an awesome face. He's great at fighting from underneath because he's such a lovable scumbag. They bring out the door, which is my new favourite GCW tool. One has "FUCK DJ" Written on it
KTB goes through that one, and then later on he puts Nate on his shoulder as he carries him along the second rope, and hits a HUGE DVD through another one. GODDAMN. He hits a Flatliner to win.
Tony Deppen vs Chris Dickinson ***1/2
Awesome match with a unique twist. Deppen is a shithead heel who the crowd wants to die, but Dickinson is a meathead who can come across as a mean dickhead. So the more he abuses Deppen, the more the crowd sides with Tony. Tony hits a WILD tope into the crowd and nails a fan in the head for an awesome visual. He continues to fight from underneath, and does a really good job of it. Chris eventually overwhelms him to win.
Jimmy Lloyd vs Eric Ryan vs Markus Crane ***3/4 (DEATHMATCH)
I ADORE GCW, but I really wish they would start giving their deathmatches unique names like IWA and CZW do. This is wonderfully violent. Crane and Jimmy are amazing as always, but Ryan is the one that really stands out here as the guy who brings more madness than the others. He uses forks to rip the other ones apart, and takes more and more insane risks. They use sheets of Glass to further kill each other, and Ryan's increasing risk taking comes back to bite him as Jimmy assault drives Crane through the glass that is sitting on top of Eric, AND HIS ARM GETS RIPPED WIDE OPEN SABU STYLE, AND HE HAS TO RUN TO THE BACK. FUCKING HELL. Crane is dead, and Jimmy gets the win.
Post match, Jimmy challenges Takeda to a deathmatch at Springbreak. And as we now know it'll be a fucking classic.
G-Raver vs Matt Tremont ***1/2
I really liked this, but it way too long at nearly 20 minutes. We get a lot of walking and brawling, and sadly none of it is very interesting. Still, there's lots of gross moments, and Raver looking like the best Deathmatch dude in the world. He gets the win with a lighttube double knee.
Nick FUCKING Gage vs SHLAK ***3/4 (PRISON RULES)
GAGE STARTS OFF BY SHANKING SHLAK, BUT SHALK LIVES BECAUSE HE HAS PHONE BOOKS TAPPED TO HIS BODY. Holy Shit, what an opening. It then turns into exactly what you expect and want as they attempt kill each other in the most deranged ways possible. Glass, lighttubes, chairshots to the head, lots of gross bumps, and tons and tons of ungodly punches. It escalates really, really well because Nick is the king, and SHLAK was born to do this. SHLAK gets revenge for the shank by breaking out the plastic bag that he presumably got from his father Necro, and he strangles Gage with it. Nick lives, and gets his revenge by hitting a DISGUSTING butterfly suplex through glass and chairs on the outside that bends SHLAK's neck in half
SHALK LIVES BECAUSE THERE IS NO GOD, AND THIS MOTHERFUCKER MIGHT BE A DEMIGOD. They keep fighting, and it looks like SHLAK might do it, so Dewy trips him, and Gage breaks out the shank to stab SHLAK. He hits a couple of piledrivers onto the tubes to win.
Jun Kasai vs Alex Colon (DEATHMATCH) ****1/2
Jun is the Deathmatch God. He's a lunatic with missing teeth and scars all over his body, and he has the most disturbing eyes of any wrestler. HE IS THE CRAZY MONKEY.
Alex is the man who retired Danny Havoc, and has made a name for himself as one of the most underrated deathmatch guys. Just a guy who gives it everything he has every single match. He does this here because if he doesn't, Jun might kill him. The story in the match is that Jun doesn't really take Alex seriously, and that PISSES Colon off to the point that he pushes Jun further than anyone thought he might. Gusset plates, skewers, glass, and the RAZOR board all get used. Both men are bloody as hell, and it reaches that point where it's hard to watch. Jun no sells a splash through the glass, and flips Alex off, SO ALEX NO SELLS THE LEG DROP THROUGH THE GLASS AND FLIPS HIM BACK. FUCK YEAH. They go ballistic with lighttube shots, and Jun has just a little more in the tank to overwhelm Colon. He smashes the back of his head through a bundle of tubes to win.
Post match, ALL the deathmatch guys come out to check on Alex, and to stare down Jun. The crowd wants Gage, AND HE COMES OUT AND GOES NOSE TO NOSE WITH JUN.
Kasai backs off and asks them if they want to come to Japan, but before they can say yes he flips them off and leaves.
God, I LOVE GCW.