Re: The current WWE roster - describe their characters (if possible)
Let's see how much I can remember.
Roman Reigns - Cancer survivor, a large sized dog, and hates Vince and Shane at the moment.
Seth Rollins - Defeated the big boy running around, the current champion of RAW, and is gonna burn it down. Whatever that means.
Kofi Kingston (+ Big E and Xavier) - Current WWE Champion, veteran, is sexually suggestive along with his stable, hates the environment.
Becky Lynch - Has two belts, anti-hero, takes what she wants now, hates blondies.
Finn Balor - Is apparently IC Champ, sometimes likes to play dress up, smiles way too much.
Samoa Joe - The only Samoan not related to The Rock, US Champ, orgasms when he chokes people, is the father of AJ's kid according to Joe.
Tony Nese - Idk. Cruiserweight Champ.
Zack Ryder + Curt Hawkins - Raw Tag Champs, losers, rejects, finally getting wins.
Daniel Bryan and Eric Rowan - Smackdown Tag Champs, love the environment.
The IIconics - Women's Tag Champs. Annoying.
AJ Styles - Southern boy with phenomenal forearms.
Alexa Bliss - Bossy bitchy that manipulates Nicky Cross I guess?
Andrade 'Cien' Almas - Mexican. I honestly don't know what his character is in WWE. He's damn good, though.
Apollo Crews - Smiling black man. Happy to be there.
Baron Corbin - That Ex you broke up with but still wears your clothes.
Asuka + Kairi Sane - Two Japanese ladies that Vince names after men.
Bayley - Hugs people.
Sasha Banks - Bitches at home.
Bo Dallas and Curtis Axel - The B stands for Best.
Bobby Lashley - He tough boy.
Braun Strowman - Gets attacked by the same 3 people for the last two years.
Bray Wyatt - Split personality, wears a clown sort of thing mask, likes kids.
Brock Lesnar - Suplexes people.
Buddy Murphy - Former Cruiserweight Champ, doesn't appear on TV.
Carmella - Floss dances. That's all you need to know.
Cesaro - Swiss super wrestler.
Chad Gable - Not so glorious now.
Charlotte - Gets boob jobs in return for title shots. Hates the Irish.
Dana Brooke - She just wants her opportunity. Looks like a different person.
The Revival - They get pranked and humiliated.
Drew McIntyre - Scottish, apparently a psychopath, makes the boys in the back step up their game.
EC3 - Obsessed with his image, doesn't appear on TV.
Elias - Sings badly, plays guitar badly, gets interrupted, loses to Roman Reigns at MITB.
Ember Moon - Furry.
Eric Young - I don't know anymore.
The Viking Experience - Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha.
Luke Harper - Wants to wrestle elsewhere, Vince hates him cause he can't do a southern accent.
Heath Slater - Has kids.
Jeff Hardy - Wears paint, does stunts.
Matt Hardy - Tries to fight Lars Sullivan.
Lars Sullivan - Big boy that made racist comments 12 years ago.
Usos - They think they're black.
Jinder Mahal - Indian.
Lucha House Party - Babyfaces that cheat.
The Good Brothers - Trying to relive their BC days.
Kevin Owens - Trying to provide for his family.
The Ascension - I don't know anymore.
Lacy Evans - Wants to be in the kitchen washing dishes for her man, but doesn't cause logic.
Lana - Complains.
Liv Morgan + Sarah Logan + Ruby Riott - Gone.
Mandy Rose - Tries to be sexually suggestive and slutty but fails due to being painfully average looking.
Mojo Rawley - Hates mirrors.
Naomi - Glows in the dark.
Natalya - Thinks she's Bret.
Nia Jax - Weighs 300 ounces, not like most girls, cries if you mention her weight like most girls.
Nikki Cross - Insane but not insane.
R Truth - Dances, raps, etc.
Randy Orton - A Viper.
Rey Mysterio - Masked Luchador, loves his son.
Ricochet - Flippy flippy.
Robert Roode - Rick Rude rip off or something.
Rusev - Bulgarian.
Sami Zayn - Hates fans.
Sheamus - Irish.
Nakamura - Japanese.
Sonya Deville - MMA Lesbian.
The Miz - Hates Shane.
I can't remember any more.