WWE “Extreme Rules”
April 25th, 2010
From the First Mariner Arena in Baltimore, Maryland
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry “the King” Lawler, Matt Stryker
Theme Song: Time To Shine by Saliva
Triple H’s music hits...but he never comes out for his scheduled Street Fight against Sheamus. The camera cuts to backstage where Sheamus is beating him up with a steel pipe.
The Unified Tag Team Champions (the Big Show and the Miz) come out and demand that Bret Hart come out on Raw the following night to admit they are the greatest Tag team of all time. They demand competition and Teddy Long comes out and makes...A TAG TEAM GAUNTLET MATCH, PLAYA! with the winners getting a shot at their titles tomorrow.
Gauntlet Match for a shot at the WWE Unified Tag Team Championships
ShowMiz vs. R-Truth & John Morrison
This was fine.
ShowMiz vs. MVP & Mark Henry
This isn’t even worth mentioning.
ShowMiz vs. the Hart Dynasty w/Natalya and Bret Hart
This lasted all of one move.
Winners: the Hart Dynasty
Sheamus says if Triple H is too much a coward to face him he should come to the ring and admit.
If CM Punk Loses his head will be shaved
CM Punk w/the Straight Edge Society vs. Rey Mysterio
The stipulation for this match should have been if CM Punk loses he has to shave his chest. It was fucking disgusting. It was a decent match.
Winner: CM Punk
Shad Gaspard vs. JTG
This was garbage. I’m not a fan of Strap Matches as it is but why would you put such a meaningless feud in one?
Todd Grisham is still outside Triple H’s lockeroom and he has been told Triple H will likely not compete tonight.
Extreme Rules Match for the World Heavyweight Championship
Jack Swagger (champion) vs. Randy Orton
This didn’t hold my attention at all.
Winner: Jack Swagger
Sheamus comes out to the ring to hear Triple H admit to being a coward. He demands the referee raise his hand and declare him the winner of their match. Backstage a groggy Triple H leaves the lockeroom and heads for the ring.
Sheamus vs. Triple H
I have zero sympathy for "face" Triple H so I enjoyed watching Sheamus beat on him. It was a decent Street Fight.
Josh Mathews asks Edge his thoughts on his upcoming Cage Match. Edge says he’s not even going to try escape; he just wants Chris Jericho in the cage.
Extreme Makeover Match for the WWE Womens Championship
Michelle McCool (champion) w/Layla and Vickie Guerrero vs. Beth Phoenix
While this was no Bra & Panties or Evening Gown Match it still managed to be a fucking abomination. What really killed it was Vickie and Layla’s actions outside the ring. They were terrible. The commentators called Michelle McCool “the greatest diva of all-time”. I guess that’s true since they only used that term for a short while. But nowadays that seems more like an insult than a compliment.
Winner: Beth Phoenix (new WWE Womens Champion)
“Please do not try this at home” ad.
Josh Mathews is with Chris Jericho, who says one loss earlier on in the week to an NXT rookie named “Heath Slater” will not affect him at all. One thing for sure, one win against Chris Jericho didn’t affect Heath Slater that much.
Steel Cage Match
Edge vs. Chris Jericho
You know what? I was never the hugest Edge fan but seeing him come out here made me really miss him. They told a good story of two people with vehement hatred for one another, with both having many opportunities to exit the cage but deciding to go back in and beat the other more.
Last Man Standing Match for the WWE Championship
Batista vs. John Cena (champion)
This was a really good match but it had that fucking duct tape around the ankles finish. I mean yeah, Batista couldn’t stand up to answer the ten count. But he was flailing around trying to stand up, clearly not incapacitated. You could even hear the collective groan from the live crowd.
Winner: John Cena
This was not a very good show at all. Firstly was the lack of anything really extreme in any of the matches. I've learned though that the name "Extreme Rules" is just a name the WWE still uses because they're in autopilot for most of the spring and probably haven't even noticed it the last decade. But moreso the fact that some of the matches were downright bad. The Gauntlet Match lasted barely five minutes total. The Strap Match didn’t even break five minutes (and was between Shad Gaspard and JTG) and the Extreme Makeover Match was a match where a table full of makeup was at ringside. You would have thought that plus Vickie Guererro would’ve meant total humiliation. But no. And then there’s the fucking stupid ending to the main event.
The beginning with Sheamus attacking Triple H before the match even started was an interesting and different way to start to a show. But like I said, I can’t stand Triple H (especially “face” Triple H) so I was actually happy at the prospect of not having to watch him wrestle. And it was something that would happen on Raw, which is how a lot of this show felt: like an episode of Raw but with more important matches. In some cases. The Tag Team Gauntlet Match and the Strap Match belonged on Raw, except without the Strap Match stipulation for that match.
The last two matches were at least good. The Last Man Standing Match was really good but just had such a dumb ending. And it exemplified the “Super Cena”/#cenawinslol era. Pure stupidity.
Neon Green Shirt guy was in the front row, but he was wearing a purple shirt.