WWF World Heavyweight Champion: Shawn Michaels
WWF Intercontinental Champion: The Rock
WWF Tag Team Champions: The New Age Outlaws
WWF European Champion: HHH
WWF Light Heavyweight Champion: TAKA Michinoku
WWF Royal Rumble
January 18th, 1998
San Jose, California
Commentary: Jerry "THE KING" Lawler & Jim Ross
Mike Tyson is in a Skybox
The Artist Formerly Known as Goldust (w/Luna) vs. VADER
This isn't bad, but not as amazing as it should have been. Maybe if this was 1996 then maybe it would rule, but now Vader is past his prime and his strikes don't make me cringe anymore, but god bless him, he's trying, as for Goldust he's all the way fucked up. For the most part, it's mostly punches and strikes. Goldust doesn't really try to lift Vader maybe once or twice but it always backfires which allows Vader to recover and do some things. Hilarious spot, with Vader going for the Vader bomb but gets caught waiting to he hells at Goldust to get up, so he yells at Luna to distract the ref. Anyway, he low blows Vader for two. Vader comes back and sits on Goldust's chest before hitting the Vader bomb with Luna on his back for the win. **1/2
In the parking lot, Austin arrives as Cole tries to interview him but Austin blows him off and tells him to park his truck. The Godwins come over looking for Austin.
Sunny comes out to be the referee for the next match.
Battalion, Tarantula, and El Torito vs. Nova, Mosaic, and Max Mini [Special Referee: Sunny]
This goes around 7 minutes or so, It is what it is, cool choreographed spots, with some comedy, everything is smooth for the most part. Max Mini pins El Torito with a Crucifix Pin.
Backstage: The Nation of Domination minus the Rock are looking for Austin, Faarooq says he didn't put Henry in this group, to begin with, so he wants him to prove himself by laying out Stone Cold. They all barge in, but nobody is there and there's just a foam AUSTIN 3:16 middle finger on a chair in front of the door.
Vince McMahon & Shane McMahon, has now joined Tyson in the skybox.
Backstage: Michael Cole interviews The Rock, Cole asks about dissension in the ranks. Rock says he's a complete idiot, but he knows all The Rock's fans want to know how The Rock feels about President Clinton and Paula Jones, and says to take it from The Rock. When you lay down with a dog, you're gonna wake up with fleas. Don't be silly, cover it, Willy. The fact of the matter is that Shamrock wanted it one on one, I like it one on one. But don't worry Someone WILL be standing by to carry his sorry ass out of the building.
WWF Intercontinental Championship: The Rock vs. Ken Shamrock
They have a slow feeling out process to start where it clearly looks like both men are stalling. Rock's bumping is super fun here, he gains the advantage when he hangs Shamrock on the top rope as he goes for his 'rana. Rocky doesn't really do much lots of punches, kicks, and chokes. Shamrock doesn't sell like at all but in his defense, Rock's heat period is really basic. Shamrock does have these mini-great comebacks with punches to the mid-section, but Rock would counter with a huge move e.g. around the world/float over DDT. After a headlock segment, Shamrock has a dope comeback before Kama and D'Lo run down for the distraction, that allows Rock to pull out the brass knuckles. He punches Shamrock with them, he places the knuckles in Ken's pants tho. Rocky then covers but he kicks out. Shamrock immediately hits the Belly-2-Belly and covers for the win. **1/4
After the match; The Rock recovers and tells the ref he got hit with the knucks, so the ref checks Shamrock and finds the knucks so he reverses the decision. FUCKERY~! Ken snaps so he hits the ref with the belly-2-belly and applies the Ankle Lock to him.
Backstage: Los Boricuas think they found Austin, but it's just one of the DOA members. They start beating the shit out of him, which leads to fraction brawls. FUCK YEAH! All white bald men look the same from behind.
The New Age Outlaws come down to the ring wearing Brett Favre Packers jerseys, Road Dogg says unless you live under a rock or in California, you know he's the Road Dogg and this is B-A-D A-Double crooked letter. Just like their precious 49ers, their precious LOD is about to become a part of history as well. Steve Young will play a major role in the Super Bowl this year. He'll be the one telling his fat wife to fetch another brewski.
Backstage: Michael Cole interviews LOD. Animal yells that he was never going to miss this match tonight and it's not a matter of being hurt because doctors don't know what they're talking about and it's a matter of having a heart and being a WWF Superstar. TELL EM HAWK! WELL. He says these guys think they're as cool as the other side of the pillow. They'll be even cooler tonight after they put them on ice. What a rush.
WWF Tag Team Championships: The New Age Outlaws vs. The Legion of Doom
Outlaws dumping is great, they pretty much get their ass kicked for 5 straight minutes until Dogg trips Animal up from the floor then sends him into the steel steps. FUCK YEAH! The Outlaws sucker Hawk in so they can attack him, they then distract the ref so Dogg handcuffs Hawk to the ringpost leaving the injured Animal to go solo. But it's the outlaws so they don't do shitall with the man advantage and continue to get their asses kicked. Animal counters a crossbody off the top rope into a powerslam but Dogg nails him in the back for the DQ. **1/4
After the match; The Outlaws beat on Animal with a chair, until HAWK SNAPS AND BREAKS THE CUFFS MAKING THE SAVE!
Stone Cold Steve Austin's road to the Rumble video package, boy I wonder who's gonna win the Rumble 8D
#30 Man Royal Rumble Match
#1 Cactus Jack, #2 Chainsaw Charlie. Cactus bails away from the chainsaw and throws chairs at Funk in the ring, AND FUNK SWINGS THE SAW AT THE CHAIRS TO BLOCK IT. They then go right into nailing one another in the head with chairs. Funk then lifts the panties off his head so Cactus can look into his eyes as he hits him. He dares Cactus to do it again, but Cactus hands him the chair instead and Funk begins wofferling him with chair shots to the head. #3 is Tom Brandi, Cactus and Charlie stop fighting to beat up Brandi for being awful, and they toss him out before going back to punching one another in the face. Cactus suplex's Charlie on two chairs that are in the sitting position. #4 is The Rock. Who beating on both men with some WOAT punches and kicks, so Jack and Charlie team up and begin beating him up with weapons. They place a trashcan on Rocks head and Jack nails it with a chair sending Rocky through the middle ropes. #5 is Mosh who goes at Funk, as Rock is back in fighting with Cactus. #6 is Phinneus Godwinn, #7 is 8-Ball. Funk dodges a Cactus Clothesline, and Cactus is eliminated. #8 is Bradshaw, #9 is Owen Hart, but Jarrett and Cornette attack him on the way down. I guess Owen is out UGH! #10 is Steve Blackman, #11 is D'Lo Brown, and for some reason, Rock and D'lo begin fighting WHAT THE FUCK?!?!? #12 is Kurrgan. HOLY SHIT! THE NAMES IN THIS RUMBLE ARE ASS! Kurrgan throws Mosh out and begins fighting Blackman as they both are wearing black pants. #13 is Marc Mero as Kurrgan throws Blackman out. Rock and D'lo keep fighting cause looool. #14 is Ken Shamrock who single-handedly beats up Kurrgan
everyone then helps and tosses him out. THANK GOD! 15 is Thrasher. FUCK!
#16 is Mankind, who goes right after Funk and eliminates him. #17 is TAFKA Goldust, Rock and Shamrock finally get into to it and it's the only highlight since Jack/Charlie to start. Mero goes his best awful boxing stuff clearly trying to work himself into a program with Tyson, but looooooooooooooolMero. Goldust eliminates Mankind. #18 is Jarrett, but Owen runs back down and attacks Jeff in the ring. He beats the shit out of him before throwing him out. FUCK YEAH OWEN! #19 is the Honky Tonk Man. Triple H and Chyna walk down and Hunter is still on crutches, as the Rock throws Shamrock out. DAMMIT! Hunter and Chyna distract Owen, Owen grabs one of Hunter's crutches that Chyna is holding so Hunter nails him in the back with the other, and Chyna pulls him to the floor. #20 is Ahmed Johnson
oh I've missed him, he's wearing three knee pads on each leg like they are tights. #21 is Mark Henry, the horn for #22 hits but no one comes out, Lawler claims that was Austin's number but someone finally got him in the back. Ahmed is eliminated by the Nation, so is Phinneus. #23 is Kama Mustafa. #24 is STONE COLD STEVE AUSTIN~! EVERYONE IN THE RING STOPS FIGHTING AND WAITS FOR AUSTIN...............BUT HE COMES THROUGH THE CROWD He punches Mero out, everyone tries to fight Austin be he escapes and throws 8ball out. Everyone then goes back to brawling one another and leaves Austin alone
D'low/Austin is fun. #25 is Henry Godwinn, #26 is Savio Vega who comes out with the rest of Los Boricuas. They all charge at Austin but he fights them off and clears the ring of them leaving Savio alone who avoids the Stunner. Austin almost takes Goldust's head off with a sick clothesline. #27 is Faarooq who goes right to kicking The Rock's ass and the rest of the Nation's
FUCK YEAH! Rocky/Austin brawl on the floor. #28 is Dude Love. 3 FACES OF FOLEY~! The Dude eliminates Bradshaw. As Austin continues to beat the shit out of both Rock and Goldust. #29 is Chainz UGH! VADER IS #30.
Vader eliminates Honky Tonk Man, Austin tosses Thrasher, Kama, and then Savio. Goldust gets some brief revenge clothesline Vader our. Dude ducks a Henry Godwinn clothesline and low bridges him over the top. Chainz tosses Goldust out, Austin tosses Chainz out at the same time Faarooq then eliminates both D'lo and Mark. DA FUCKS?!?!!
Final Four, Rocky, Austin, Faarooq and Dude. Faarooq quickly throws Dude out
Rocky then allows Faarooq to fight Austin in the corner, before sneaking up and dumping him over the top. LEAVING ROCK VS. AUSTIN~! God damn their chemistry is already so good together. Austin peppers him with punches and throws him out, but Rock lands on the apron. He sneaks back in but walks into a Stunner and finally, Austin throws him to the floor. Thus ending the most predictable Rumble of all time.
Michael Cole is with a very HYPE! Mike Tyson in the skybox. Tyson says "COLD STONE" is my man, i'm happy he won and no one believed he would win
I'm gonna celebrate for him. Cole asks him about the WWF title match, Tyson says he can't predict the winner he's just looking forward to the match.
Shawn/Taker video package.
Casket Match for the WWF World Heavyweight Championship: Shawn Michaels (w/D-Generation X) vs. The Undertaker
The match starts off like always with Shawn trying to avoid the Undertaker as much as possible but also adding quick punches to keep pissing him off. He keeps charging in the corner and getting tossed off. Shawn springboards out of the corner but gets caught in a double choke lift, he press slam Shawn into the casket but he counters. Undertaker backdrops HBK over the casket but he catches his lower back on the edge. OH SHIT! His career just ended 3 minutes into the match. Thankfully, it doesn't affect him here, adrenaline is a hell of a thing. Taker goes on the offensive slamming Shawn around who bumps like a madman, god damn why did epic 1997/1998 bumping Shawn only last 7 months tops
They do a spot where Taker gets all of Shawn in the casket, but Shawn pops out of the casket with power in Taker's eyes and that allows Shawn to finally take over and string some moves together. Which included a moonsault press, clotheslines him to the floor, skins-the-cat back in but Taker drags him out anyway. Taker dominates out there until Shawn sends his knees through the steel steps. He then picks the steps up and smashes it on Takers back, a few times then he PILEDRIVES Undertaker onto the steps. We get a couple of casket tease spots, my favorite being Shawn rolling Taker into the casket and gloats with the crotch chop so Taker grabs him with the testicular claw and escapes. Big boot but Shawn avoids the 360 clothesline and Undertaker winds up in the casket. Shawn follows him in via a top rope elbow drop INTO the casket. For some reason, the referee closes the lid with BOTH of them inside. HBK tries to escape but then gets dragged back into the casket by the Undertaker. Both escape and Undertaker Tombstones him off the apron into the casket OH SHIT! Suddenly, The New Age Outlaws and Los Boricuas run down and start beating up Taker..............THE LIGHTS GO OUT! Kane comes down and clears the ring but TURNS ON THE UNDERTAKER! He chokeslams Undertaker into the casket and DX closes the lid to give Shawn Michaels the win. ***1/4
After the match; Paul Bearer comes down with helping Kane padlocking the casket. They wheel the casket up the ramp, where Kane whacks it a few times with an ax before pouring lighter gasoline and all over the casket before setting it on fire to end the show.