Thursday Night Nitro
May 3, 2001
Tony Schiavone
Welcome ladies and gentleman to another episode of Mon...
[Schiavone looks at his co-host Mike Tenay.]
Tony Schiavone
...Thursday? Night Nitro?
Mike Tenay
You've got that right Tony! We have all heard the news about the reboot of WCW under the WWE Board of Directors. We are not part of the WWF, we are still here live and well on our own terms.
Tony Schiavone
That's right! We have been off the air for approximately two months. This is our very first show on the USA network...boy what a bargain they got for airing WCW programming!
[Chavo Guerrero Jr's music plays and he comes out to cheers with his WCW Cruiserweight championship around his waist.]
Tony Schiavone
...and it looks like we are starting things out in typical WCW fashion...the real WCW as we once knew it...with a Cruiserweight championship match!
Mike Tenay
Who will challenge for the Cruiserweight title on this inaugural airing of WCW Nitro on the USA network?!?
[Billy Kidman's music plays. He heads to the ring and shakes hands with Chavo as the referee holds the title overhead.]
Tony Schiavone
What a class act these two are Tenay. Shaking each other's hand as the match heads under way.
Chavo Guerrero Jr. © vs. Billy Kidman
WCW Cruiserweight Championship Match
Winner: Chavo Guerrero Jr.
[Kidman and Chavo embrace in the ring and Kidman holds Chavo's hand up as WCW's Cruiserweight champion...unfortunately the moment is cut short when 'I'm Back' plays and out walks...]
Mike Tenay
Tony! That’s Eric Bischoff!
Tony Schiavone
...I am speechless Tenay! We never thought we would ever see him in this promotion again.
[Eric Bischoff enters the ring and grabs a microphone.]
Eric Bischoff
Well...well...well. It looks like WCW is having a little reunion! You didn’t think that you would be having this reunion without ol’ Uncle Eric did ya?
[The audience boo as Kidman and Chavo begin to climb out of the ring.]
Eric Bischoff
Whoa, whoa, whoa. Not so fast there.
Well congratulations...on a well retained championship match. It was earlier this year that I was sent home by WCW management and all I heard all over the internet and the dirt sheets and the radio shows and the television shows...how Uncle Eric never let the Cruiserweights shine.
I shrugged it off...surely, that is not what my own employees had thought of me? When it was *I* that created the Cruiserweight division, brought in the best cruiserweights from across the globe; so that they could have a place to apply their craft from the likes of Brian Pillman, Jushin Liger, Rey Misterio Jr. and even the two of you. So imagine my surprise when I heard nothing but complaints from the cruiserweights...once I was gone from WCW of course.
Whilst I was being paid to sit on my couch; one Monday night I turned on Nitro and there I saw Vince Russo and his pathetic attempt to make the Cruiserweights relevant by having them in the main events. You want to know what I did when I started to see Billy Kidman vs. Hulk Hogan? I did what over 1 million Americans did. I changed the channel to Raw and lo and behold I see former WCW wrestlers...Benoit, Malenko, Saturn and Guerrero prancing about on WWF programming!
They would never have had that opportunity had it not been for the cruiserweight division - *MY* brainchild.
So you know what I am doing, since the WWE Board saw fit to rehire me as the General Manager for WCW? I am officially retiring the Cruiserweight division and the Cruiserweight championship! You Cruiserweights want equality? That’s fine by me, you can go up against the heavyweights from here on out and if you want to call yourself champions then you have to beat the best. No more throwing around a useless Cruiserweight title which clearly you don’t even care about.
Screw the Cruiserweight division.
Screw the Cruiserweight title.
And screw the Cruiserweights!
[Chavo Guerrero and Billy Kidman get out of the ring, shaking their heads, visibly upset. Chavo realizes that his title is now worthless and so he throws the title back in the ring at a smiling Bischoff’s feet and walks to the back with Kidman. Bischoff picks up the belt and slings it over his shoulder.]
Eric Bischoff
This brings me to someone else. One of the most outspoken cruiserweights...Rey Misterio Jr., oh you love him I know. But tonight he will need all the help that he can get because he will be going up against...’The Total Package’ Lex Luger!
But that’s not the only reason I’m out here. When I was gone and I was tuning in and out of Nitro I realized that one of the best color commentators of all time had been missing. Frankly, Schiavone you need all the help you can possibly get and so I have resigned...Bobby ‘The Brain’ Heenan to an iron clad contract!
[Bobby Heenan comes out, shakes Eric’s hands through the ropes, and takes his seat at the announcers table, wiping his eyes.]
Mike Tenay
Oh god...
Tony Schiavone
Well fans, let the torment begin...
[Tony looks at Heenan.]
Tony Schiavone
Are you crying Bobby??
Bobby Heenan
Yes!
What a man Mr. Bischoff is. I salute you sir. His vision for WCW is remarkable.
Tony Schiavone
He just deleted the Cruiserweight division as though it was a typo on my mac!
Mike Tenay
Who knows what Bischoff has in store for WCW this time?
Eric Bischoff
Oh...’Rey-Rey’ your match is next!
{COMMERCIAL}
Rey Misterio Jr. vs. Lex Luger
Winner: Rey Misterio Jr.
Tony Schiavone
Rey-Rey picked up the win! My goodness, a cruiserweight just beat a former WCW Champion!
Bobby Heenan
Luger is going bananas!
Mike Tenay
Misterio has wrestled this entire match with his mask. Bischoff forced him to remove it the last time he was here. Surely, Bischoff cannot be happy about that.
[We cut backstage to Pamela Paulshock and Mike Sanders].
Pamela Paulshock
Please join me at this time, with Mike Sanders.
Mike, this is a new WCW, a new beginning, a new chance for you to do things right. What are your goals for this new restart for WCW, and all of us?
Mike Sanders
Well, for one, I must say that I have been the unlikeliest of heroes that many fans have looked up to in the past and so...
Pamela Paulshock
Now wait just one moment Mike. We all know your checkered past. It’s a bit of a stretch to say that you are a hero to all the great WCW fans.
Mike Sanders
Pam, I’m not the biggest guy and I think that is what the WCW fans love about me. That I do anything to win, and if that means I have to break a rule or two here or there then so be it.
I am officially putting every champion in WCW on notice that I will be champion soon.
Pamela Paulshock
You are putting the current WCW champion Scott Steiner on notice?
Mike Sanders
Well...
[Mike Sanders fidgets nervously.]
Pamela Paulshock
What’s wrong Mike? You look a little nervous.
Mike Sanders
This is WCW Pam! We have traditions and our tradition has always been that the WCW United States champion is the one in line for a title shot. So I am putting, whoever the US champ is, on notice that...
[Current WCW United States champion, the much larger, General Rection walks on by and stares Sanders in the face.]
General Rection
You.
Me.
Title Shot.
Next Week.
[Sanders looks worried as the General walks away, wondering what he just got himself into].
Pamela Paulshock
What a fighting champion! We already have a title match set for next week!
Tony, Tenay, Brain take it away.
[Sirens begin to blare as Scott Steiner walks out with his favorite freak Midajah and the WCW Championship.]
Tony Schiavone
Uh-oh...here comes trouble!
Mike Tenay
Here comes Freakzilla, The Genetic Freak himself Sco...
Bobby Heenan
No, No! Here comes the WCW Champion...*OUR* Champion!
Scott Steiner
Now where was I?
Two months away from WCW, two months away from wrestling, two months away...from my freaks.
So we come back to WCW Nitro and it’s on USA and the first thing that happens is BITCH-off comes back. Well let me tell you something Bitch...don’t get in my way, don’t get in my face. I don’t want to have to break your skinny little neck, rip off that hair-do off your head and send you packing back to your couch in several pieces.
As far as the cruiserweights go...none of you have the talent to step up to the Big Bad Booty Daddy and if any of you want to try me then this title is up for grabs...anytime, anywhere.
Now moving on to the real reason I’m out here. You see the last time around in WCW I was suspended for speaking the truth about a one-hundred and twenty-two year old man. The management in the back weren’t too happy with what I said but I don’t give a shit. Now that we are off TNT with Turner being kicked out of his own company that he built and moving on to a real network...the USA network – I can say what I want, where I want, how I want.
Turner has been thrown out of his own company it’s time to do the same to the so called ‘man’ of WCW. I know you’re back there Flair, I can smell your stinking rotten teeth from here. Why don’t you come out here and call yourself the ‘man’ before the Genetic Freak and you’ll see what goes down.
[Ric Flair makes his way out and stands in the ramp with a smirk on his face.]
Tony Schiavone
I never thought that I would say this but Flair had better stay away from Steiner.
Bobby Heenan
I go a long way back with Flair Tony and I have to agree with you for once. Flair cannot beat Steiner. Steiner scares grizzly bears away.
Mike Tenay
Someone has to stand up to this rampaging maniac Brain. I don’t like Flair’s chances in any fight against the Genetic Freak but someone has to stand up to him.
Ric Flair [calmly]
I once knew a great young talent who was up and coming in WCW. He destroyed everyone and everything in his path and frankly no one could match him.
That man was Scott Steiner.
He was the most talented young man I had ever seen. A heavyweight that could move like a cruiserweight.
I had no ill feelings towards you Steiner but now you keep coming after the Nature Boy. The fact of the matter, Steiner, is that as great as you were in that ring you were always overshadowed by the likes of the new world order. As a consequence it has made you one angry young man but you know something Steiner? You can look in the mirror and know that you screwed yourself out of millions of dollars.
Scott Steiner
Why don’t you get in the ring and stop being the bitch that you are Flair before I come down there, rip that cheap suit off you and kick your ass!
Better yet, I’ll leave the suit on because no one wants to see your flab flapping around on camera. Seeing that will make the fans change the channel.
Ric Flair
Yeah...maybe I should take what you take...
YOU know it, I know it and what’s more all these people know it. That had it not been for your ego, you would have had a great future right here in WCW. Instead we have a raging lunatic with high blood pressure about to blow a vein in his neck.
[Gradually getting angrier as Flair talks, Steiner begins to visibly move around the ring in a violent manner as Midajah tries to calm him down.]
Ric Flair
Fact check Steiner...you are not the man until you beat the man. You wanted me for a long time Steiner. You got me. Put that title on the line and I will show you why I am the man like I showed your little lady last night...WHOOOOOOOOOO!
[Flair walks to the back smirking with Midajah still trying to calm Steiner down.]
Scott Steiner
SHUT UP MIDGE!
Flair...you’re a senile old man and I will put my title on the line tonight! Unless you lost your balls after stepping on them. I will show the world what happens when a senior citizen meets a world class athlete like Freakzilla...holla if ya hear me!!!!
Mike Tenay
Wow...on our very first broadcast on USA we have a main event match scheduled between Ric Flair and...Scott Steiner!
Tony Schiavone
That is going to be a grudge match to see. It’s been in the making for a very long time. I don’t know what The Nature Boy is thinking frankly.
Bobby Heenan
It’s settled. We say goodbye to Ric Flair and Steiner retains the WCW Championship!
{COMMERCIAL}
Disco Inferno vs. Goldberg
Winner: Goldberg.
Bobby Heenan
Da Man! With the greatest streak in professional wrestling history...what was it? A million to one?
Mike Tenay
I think that ship has long sailed Brain. Goldberg’s career seems to have had reached its peak.
Tony Schiavone
I think you may be right Tenay. The greatest star ever produced by WCW has floundered ever since his loss to ‘Big Sexy’ Kevin Nash two years ago.
Speaking of where to go next fans. Up next, a legendary WCW superstar contemplates retirement.
Bobby Heenan
Jim Duggan is still around?
{COMMERCIAL}
[Gene Okerlund walks out to the rampway for a scheduled interview.]
Gene Okerlund
Ladies and Gentleman, please allow me the privilege and honor to welcome WCW’s favorite son...’The Franchise’ Sting!
[Sting comes out in street clothes.]
Gene Okerlund
Sting...[shaking his head] say it isn’t so.
Say the rumors that have been flying around the internet for the past two months are not true.
Sting
Gene I wish I could.
For the past two months I have had plenty of time to reflect on my career. There have been a lot of ups and a lot of downs.
I don’t know if I have anything else left to give. I hear the WCW fans right now as I always have, and they’re begging me for one more match...
Gene Okerlund
If you don’t mind my saying so Stinger, that would be a tremendous idea at the very least.
Sting
I’m sure it would be Gene. For you, for me and for all our fans.
The truth is that I am happy with where I am right now and I don’t know if I want this anymore.
The desire, the passion...the past few years in WCW has exhausted me and I think I may be ready to call time on my professional wrestling career.
If I never wrestled another match again. I would be okay with that.
Gene Okerlund
Sting...we all want to know. What is on your mind? Are you or are you not retiring?
Sting
Gene...right now I don’t know.
I...just don’t know where I stand on this anymore.
Gene Okerlund
Sting...allow me to be the first to shake your hand and thank you for the memories.
Any final words for your fans?
Sting
Yes, I would like to say to anyone that has ever watched WCW...thank you for making a great dream my reality for so long.
Thank you and God bless.
Gene Okerlund
I don’t know what to make of this...Tenay, Schiavone...and Brain...back to you.
Mike Tenay
Tonight is shaping up to be a very memorable night Tony.
Tony Schiavone
I don’t know what to make of this either Gene. Sting, we wish you the best but...what do you think of that announcement Bobby? I’m flabbergasted here.
Bobby Heenan
After hearing that I only have one thing to say.
Does Gene have a problem with me or something? He mentioned me like I was a bad smell or something...whining my name...’braa—in’, ‘braaaaa-in’...its brain you dummy.
[Tony and Tenay look at each other shaking their heads. Norman Smiley comes out and warms up for his match.]
Norman Smiley vs. Jeff Jarrett
Winner: Jeff Jarrett.
Bobby Heenan
After witnessing that I only have one question Tony. Why cry over Sting’s retirement when we have such a bright future?!
Tony Schiavone
I might have to agree with you to a certain degree there Brain. Sting’s retirement is a huge shocker but we have to look forward to the future and Jeff Jarrett may very well be that future.
Mike Tenay
Jeff wins in convincing fashion against a seasoned veteran; Norman Smiley. I find it interesting that he came out without his traditional guitar.
Bobby Heenan
I heard he gave it to a sick fan.
Tony Schiavone
Really?
Bobby Heenan
Yes...the poor kid...he was sick to death of Mean Gene’s announcing.
{COMMERCIAL}
[Mike Sanders walks backstage worried about his title match next week. Muttering wrestling sequences to himself.]
Mike Sanders
Lock up...arm lock...thumb to the eye...no, no...lock up...hammer lock...kick to the bal...
[Mike bumps into Jarrett who is walking backstage after his match and is immediately star struck.]
Jeff Jarrett
Hey...watch where you are going slap nuts.
Mike Sanders
I’m sorry Mr. Double J...J. Congratulations on your win sir.
[Jeff glares at Sanders and Mike begins walking away and stops when an idea clearly comes into his head and goes back to Jeff.]
Mike Sanders
Erm...Mr. Double J...
Jeff Jarrett
The name’s Jeff kid. What do you want?
Mike Sanders
You know...I have this match next week and you’re one of my favorite wrestlers of all time...possibly the greatest!
Jeff Jarrett
What’s your point?
Mike Sanders
My point is sir...I have this match and I would consider it an honor if you helped coach me for it.
[Jeff laughs at him and begins walking away.]
Jeff Jarrett
I don’t have time for that kid. In case you didn’t realize WCW has been off for two months that means no Jeff Jarrett for two months. Everyone in WCW has to prove themselves all over again...this time to the WWE board.
Mike Sanders
[muttering to self]
Well...I guess there goes my chances on being the U.S. champion...lock up...arm-bar...
[Jeff overhears this and quickly turns back to Sanders grabbing his arm.]
Jeff Jarrett
What did you just say kid?
Mike Sanders
What?
Jeff Jarrett
What did you just say?
Mike Sanders
...when?
Jeff Jarrett
Just now...
Mike Sanders
Arm-bar?
Jeff Jarrett
[annoyed]
NO! The U.S. title...you just mentioned the U.S. title.
Mike Sanders
[excitedly]
Oh yeah!
I just challenged General Rection to a title match and I have the match and I’m trying to remember what to do and I don’t know if I’ll win but if I do then I’ll be the United States champion and I’ll challenge Scott Steiner and I’ll hold both belts and...
Jeff Jarrett
OK calm down kid. Relax. You’re talking your tongue into a twist. Don’t hurt your brain.
Let me get this right. YOU have a title match?
Mike Sanders
Yes sir.
Jeff Jarrett
For the WCW United States championship?
Mike Sanders
Yes sir.
Jeff Jarrett
Next week on Nitro?
Mike Sanders
Yes sir.
[Jarrett places his arm over Sanders’ shoulder, and begins walking with him.]
Jeff Jarrett
Well why didn’t you say so? I think I have just the plan.
Mike Tenay
Am I seeing this right? Did I just witness Jeff Jarrett befriend Mike Sanders?
Tony Schiavone
Well...I think we just saw Mike Sanders befriend Jeff Jarrett. There’s a difference.
Bobby Heenan
What a great guy. Always willing to give advice.
O’Haire & Palumbo vs. Mamalukes
Winners: O’Haire & Palumbo.
Bobby Heenan
O’Haire and Palumbo, what a great tag team combination they make.
Tony Schiavone
They certainly do Brain, I hope to see more of this great young tag team.
Mike Tenay
Just another example of what this new WCW will be bringing to the table.
Ric Flair vs. Scott Steiner W/Midajah ©
WCW Championship Match
Bobby Heenan
This match has been all Scott Steiner!
Tony Schiavone
Steiner jumped Flair at the entrance Brain! What do you expect? Steiner has thrown Flair onto the guardrails, into the fans, over our announcer table and into the ring.
Mike Tenay
Flair has mounted absolutely no offence so far. The referee should just stop the damn match!
Bobby Heenan
Oh no...Flair wanted this. He started this with Steiner!
Tony Schiavone
Look at Midajah; constantly taunting Flair. I think I have to agree with you Ten...Steiner and Flair tumble to the outside!
Bobby Heenan
Midajah just handed a metal pole to Steiner!
Mike Tenay
That jezebel!
Tony Schiavone
She has the referee distracted! This cannot be good for Flair. Steiner is about to crack his skull open like an egg!
Mike Tenay
Someone just nailed Steiner with a steel chair from behind! Who is that?
Tony Schiavone
THAT’S BOOKER T!!
Bobby Heenan
What?!
Mike Tenay
Steiner did not go down from the chair to the back Tony!
Bobby Heenan
Run Booker run!
Tony Schiavone
Booker just nailed him with a chair shot to the head and down goes Steiner!
Mike Tenay
Booker is heading to the back! Midajah cannot believe what just happened. The referee is administering the ten count...
Tony Schiavone
The count is at 6 and no one is getting up...no wait! Flair is begging to move...but so is Steiner!
Bobby Heenan
He really is the Genetic Freak!
Tony Schiavone
Steiner lunges at Flair...but Flair moved out of the way and Steiner just went face first into the ring post!
Mike Tenay
And blood is just oozing out of Steiner’s head now! I don’t know if it was from the chair or the post...
Tony Schiavone
Flair has made it to the ring at the count of 9!
Flair has won it! But at what COST?!
Bobby Heenan
If you thought Steiner was mad before...he’ll *really* be mad now!
Tony Schiavone
Booker just helped Flair win, Steiner retains but you have to believe that Booker is now in Steiner’s crosshairs!
Join us next week fans for another episode of *Thursday* Night Nitro!
Winner: Ric Flair via count out.
RATING: 6.42
ATTENDANCE: 7,012
TICKET SALES: $280,480