Re: 1/28 Raw Discussion: Fallout from the Rumble
SPOILER ALERT (How do I use spoiler tags?):
The show opens up with fireworks and pyro. Cena's music hits. Crowd boos.
Cena talks to the camera man. "How you doin' man!? This is sure an excited crowd!" The camera man resists the urge to punch Cena. Cena runs to the ring. He points at a "RYBACK N CENA ROCK" sign, and nods. "Certainly no shortage of excitement from the WWE Universe tonight!" The crowd's boos increase in volume. "As some of you may have seen, the beast, Ryback and I, wrestled it out at the Royal Rumble, but I got the best of him." Booing continues. "Now, CM Punk, the poopy head was defeated by The Rock last night. That is great news for the WWE Universe, because, let's face it *camera zooms in close to Cena* that poopy head just was not drawing well enough!" Cena laughs with his standard, golden boy, good looking cheesy smile, while the crowd is silent. Dolph Ziggler's music hits, and a massive pop is shown. Vince, sitting backstage, regrets not taping the show so that the video team could edit it out. "Listen up John"-
"No, you listen up to me, you poopy head! Dolph, you and your girlfriend AJ are both disgusting to the WWE Universe, and we are sick of you!" The crowd boos Cena. "John, you might have won the Royal Rumble, but I have Money In The Bank, and I'm gonna be a much better world champion than you have ever dreamed to be!" AJ Lee grabs the mic. "John, you sick, crazy man. You hurt me in a way that we've yet to explain, so tonight, Big E Langston is going to take you on!" The crowd cheers. "Bring it on, poopheads! BECAUSE THE MAIN EVENT TONIGHT, ON MONDAY NIGHT RAW, WILL BE, CENA VS LANGSTON, ON MONDAY NIGHT RAWWWWWWWWW!!!!!!!!!!!" Cena exclaims, while Big E looks on with a straight face, and Ziggler shows some sort of affection toward AJ. Cut to commercial break.
Return from break. Did You Know? WWE's Royal Rumble recorded more buys than "Stacy's Night Of Fun", "Stacy's Night Of Fun II", Stacy's Night Of Fun III", and Stacy's Night Of Fun IIII"...COMBINED!!!! Cut to backstage, where Vince McMahon is walking with a stupid smirk on his face. Crowd pops. He runs into...WHO DO YOU KNOW, PAUL HEYMAN AND CM PUNK! "Punk, look. I don't know what shenaOxiOxiOxiOxins you were trying to pull with the lights going off, but they obviously didn't work. So, I'm gonna have to"- "Listen to me, alright you old, pathetic, pile of trash" Punk interrupts. "I'm the best in the world. I didn't have anything to do with those lights last night, but I know they cost me the match, and I'm mad." "CM Punk is the best in the world. He didn't deserve such"- Heyman says, but is interrupted by Vince. "Listen up to me, alright blubber belly. You can say that you're the best in the world, but the fact is that The Rock beat you. Now, since you had such a strong reign as champion, normally I'd give you a title rematch clause. However, since you have been such a terrible person to the WWE Universe" Vince pauses for a pop from the crowd, but even they've grown bored of this one. "I'm not giving you one!" Vince laughs, smirks with evil intent, and then struts away as Punk looks on in anger. Michael Cole is laughing, clearly forced and not organically, and then says we're cutting to commercial break.
Layla El is in the ring. Kaitlyn's music hits and the crowd goes mild. She high fives a few fans and points to the crowd. The bell rings, and Layla quickly attacks her. Jerry Lawler makes a sexual reference. Kaitlyn begins laughing in the middle of her match while in a rest hold. Kaitlyn counters and hits her. Jerry Lawler makes a sexual reference. Kaitlyn botches a move, and throws Layla into the turnbuckle, and powerslams her. Jerry Lawler makes a sexual reference. Kaitlyn sets up; Spear! She pins Layla, and celebrates. Jerry Lawler makes a sexual reference. Cut to backstage; Josh Matthews interviews Sheamus. "Sheamus, how are you feeling, after you came so close to winning the Rumble, but came up short?" Sheamus laughs, and looks at Josh, emanating Cena's attempts to be serious during his promos. "Listen up fella. I know I didn't get what I wanted at the Royal Rumble, but I still got to kick some arse. I'll get my title shot soon enough, one way or another." Cut to commercial break.
Rhodes are in the ring. Team Hell no come out to a huge pop for Bryan specifically. A match is starting, but a non-title one. The match goes back and forth, with Rhodes Scholars dominating, until Hell No makes a comeback. Bryan locks in his finishing move and gets in a lot of offense, but all of it is no sold. Suddenly, out of nowhere, Rhodes Scholars get on the offensive, and Sandow pins Daniel Bryan. They celebrate while Bryan and Kane stand outside of the ring. Cut to backstage. "I know the Royal Rumble didn't go too well for the Funkasaurus, and all of his loyal fans out there, but that don't mean the Funkasaurus isn't gonna win tonight." Says Brodus Clay. "I'm gonna destroy my opponent tonight, my promise, and make all of my fans happy, because the fans who dance to the funk, and all of the WWE Universe deserve it!"
Back on TV, Epico is in the ring. Brodus Clay has a 2 minute entrance. He walks into the ring and squashes Epico. Primo comes out and they 2-on-1 him, but he squashes them both. Then he celebrates. A "coming up next" clip is shown, involving Antonio Cesaro and Ryback. Cut to commercial break.
Ryback comes out to a pop. Cesaro comes out to silence. The two wrestle for 2 minutes or so with Cesaro being very impressive, before the lights go out. It's The Shield! No way! They attack Ryback, and he single-handedly beats the 3 of them up, but they come back. Michael Cole mentions the numbers game. Vintage Michael Cole. Orton's music hits! Here comes the viper! 3-on-2 though, The Shield are dominating, and wait a minute; it's Sheamus! Sheamus saves them, and they take out The Shield. Ryback chants feed me more, while Sheamus and Orton look at each other with tension in the eyes. Cut to commercial break.
The Rock's music hits! He comes out! Speakers are on each side of the turnbuckles. "Finally, The Rock has come back, to Las Vegas!" He says. Crowd goes wild because he is The Rock. "See, as WWE Champion, The Rock can say this; The Rock is the great one. The Rock is the People's Champion. And the people are happy to see the People's Champion, The Rock, back for one night only, in Las Vegas. The Rock has electrified the people." Punk's music hits. "Rock, you may have defeated me due to your shenaOxiOxiOxiOxins with the lights, but I'm the better man. I'm the best in the world. I'm the better champion. I would beat you any day. I'm the best in the world." Punk hands the mic over to Heyman. "Rock, despite your shenaOxiOxiOxiOxins, and the hatred of these fans to hurt my dear friend CM Punk, you all are ineffective. And if The Rock were more of a man"- The Rock interrupts. "Alright, listen to me, you pony-tailed, fat flabby fish looking pile of monkey crap, you need to shut the hell up and know your role, jabroni, because the people's champ is talking!" The crowd pops. "The Rock is not afraid of your boyfriend." The Rock expects a pop because he called them gay, but the crowd is silent. "In fact, The rock is willing to face you at any place, at any time, in a rematch for this title!" The Rock's music hits. The Up Next: Cena Vs. Big E Langston graphic is shown.
Ziggler's music hits as Big E walks out, along with Ziggler and AJ. Big E is confused what to do, as nobody told him what to do, so Ziggler shakes his ass and they walk out to the ring. Cena wrestles Big E. Lawler mentions that Cena has no chance against a giant with the power of Big E. Big E hits a finisher. Cena kicks out. Big E hits his finisher again. Cena kicks out. Big E clotheslines the ref by accident. Ziggler hits Cena with a chair, then does his finisher on a chair. Big E does his finisher. AJ steps on him. The ref is revived by Big E, who goes for the pin, but Cena kicks out! Big E goes for his finisher again, but Cena counters it with an Attitude Adjustment! Cena goes for the pin, but Ziggler distracts the referee. Cena hits him with a shoulder block, then AJ Lee gets up. Cena does the "You can't see me!" taunt, and and calls her a poophead, to which she does an Oscar quality angry look, and pretends to be unhappy. She steps down, and Big E hits his finisher on Cena as Cena turns around. Big E goes for the pin, but Cena kicks out. Big E lifts him back up, but Cena locks in the STF! Big E taps out! John Cena wins, and his music hits, and the crowd boos as he throws up the Cs! The show is over.
th sad truith that al of u cant ceem to grrasp is dat wrestlig is getig les poplar each day and no bodde caires abot it
vinse is senile at this poiint and th growth of tna has pleateuaed nd roh has nevr bin mor than his a crapy cult