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Official "Ryback's Weekly Jobber" Review Thread

18K views 88 replies 68 participants last post by  Kotre 
#1 · (Edited)
After watching Smackdown this week I realized that these segments are almost always my favourite part of the show. I know some of you don't really like or understand the logic (if there's even one) behind these weekly squash matches but personally I love them.

Seeing as I have nothing better to do with my time I've decided to rate each jobber's appearance and then rank them by overall performance. Hopefully more people become involved in the construction of this ranking. So let's begin:

Week 1:

Name: Barry Stevens
From: Queens, NY
Weight: 160 lbs
Trivia: Trained at Booker T's wrestling school
Review: The man who started it all. Supported by extreme self-confidence and outstanding oratory skills, Barry Stevens took the WWE Universe by storm with a now legendary introductory promo. Ryback managed to emerge victorious but it was Stevens who stole the show.
Promo: :steiner2 :steiner2 :steiner2 :steiner2 :steiner2
Match: :steiner2 :steiner2 :steiner2
Overall: :steiner2 :steiner2 :steiner2 :steiner2 1/2​

Great start. With his amazing performance earning an overall score of four and a half STEINERS, Barry Stevens seems to be on his way to a lengthy run as the Number 1 jobber in the WWE. Who will be strong enough to dethrone him from his rightful spot? Keep checking this thread for updates and find out!
 
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#2 ·
THis latest jobber put the rest to shame. On the mic, that bounce off. Gold.
 
#5 ·
Haven't cared about any of them except Barry Stevens.

Not to mention, it's old. We get it, he can beat no names. You know, Tensai moved on after the second jobber he beat, and they were actually WWE jobbers, not just no name jobbers off the street. If they want us to care about this guy, they need to start letting him beat people of some standing, even moderate standing. It's amazing to be able to say that he's been on WWE tv for 4 weeks, he's won 4 matches, and he hasn't beaten a single WWE performer yet.
 
#6 ·
I thought the latest jobber, Jacob Kaye, was really good on the mic, better even than Benny Camer. He even had a better look. Yeah I said it!

These Ryback sqaushes are still awesome I gotta say, they're actually a highlight of Smackdown. I think that says less of Smackdown than it says more of Ryback, but whatever...
 
#10 ·
Week 2:

Name: Benny Camer
From: Chicago, Illinois
Weight: 185 lbs
Trivia: Dolph Ziggler's long-lost younger brother
Review: Short but sweet. Benny Camer showed a lot of promise early on with the way he carried himself while being introduced but the length and forgettable content of his promo end up hurting his overall score. The outcome of the match could have easily been in Camer's favor but once again Ryback prevailed, due in large part to a devastating clothesline delivered on his unsuspecting opponent.
Promo: :steiner2 :steiner2
Match: :steiner2 :steiner2 :steiner2 :steiner2
Overall: :steiner2 :steiner2 :steiner2 3/4​

Even with some harsh competition Barry Stevens continues to lead our ranking. How many challengers can our champion withstand?

Current Ranking:
1st place- Barry Stevens: 4 1/2 STEINERS
2nd place- Benny Camer: 3 3/4 STEINERS
 
#14 ·
It's official. Jacob Kaye is the best Ryback jobber, Barry Stevens is a complete afterthought.

Seriously though, this guy was pretty good on the mic for a jobber. He didn't come across as nervous at all.

This was also the best Ryback match so far in my opinion. That big boot, clothesline and military press slam were epic.

 
#20 ·
Jacob Kaye was actually pretty damn good. Of course, the only way we can truly understand his potential is to place him one on one with the greatest jobber on Erf, Barry Stevens.

Another note, Ryback's lariat is god-damn-brutal.



It's been all jobbers in the back every match, aside from the Legends show. I could see alot of those guys ending up in this very thread once they wean Ryback off the local guys.
 
#27 ·
Week 3:

Name: Danny Lerman
From: Leicester, England
Weight: 175 lbs
Trivia: Got his nickname Danny "Vermin" Lerman while serving in the Army; loves mommy's home-baked chocolate chip cookies
Review: Hometown hero Danny "Vermin" Lerman seemed to be on his way to a dominating victory as he managed to be the first man to successfully strike the super-intense Ryback, landing a strong kick to his opponent's left thigh. However, the powerful strike didn't seem to phase Ryback, who made quick work of Lerman under the watchful eye of the brit's loving mother. Lerman's efforts didn't match up to the rabid support of the partial hometown crowd, who expected much more from one of their own. The entire nation wept in disappointment as they witnessed the embarassing loss of the Leicester "wunderkind".
Promo: :steiner2 :steiner2
Match: :steiner2 :steiner2 :steiner2
Overall: :steiner2 :steiner2 :steiner2​

A disappointing effort from Danny Lerman earns him the lowest mark of all the challengers. The support of the crowd pushes his grade to 3 STEINERS, which leaves him in third and last place in the ranking. Barry Stevens continues to lead comfortably. Hopefully Ryback's next opponent puts on a much more impressive showing.

Current Ranking:
1st place- Barry Stevens: 4 1/2 STEINERS
2nd place- Benny Camer: 3 3/4 STEINERS
3rd place- Danny Lerman: 3 STEINERS
 
#28 ·
where do they get these guys from? they all look so skinny and pale next to ryback

can;t wait for the next review on the latest jobber, that guy actually had decent mic skills for a jobber.
 
#31 ·
Yeah, wtf was with this guys mic skills, they're FAR better than what you'd expect from a probably 20 year old jobber. I wouldn't be surprised if he ended up in FCW somewhere down the line in a few years, and on the main roster if he bulked up 25 lbs. The other guys were having a hard time even stringing a sentence together, this guy talked as if he is used to cutting promos in front of thousands. A prime example of raw talent.
 
#32 ·
Jacob Kaye to be considered for the cruiserweight show on the network.

Guys got some damn good mic skills.
 
#34 · (Edited)
Week 4:

Name: Jacob Kaye
From: Grand Rapids, Michigan
Weight: 190 lbs
Trivia: Danny Kaye's nephew; got his famous bruise on his right arm while playing with defective fireworks at age 6; army knife enthusiast
Review: It rapidly became clear that Jacob Kaye belongs to a completely different breed of jobber. Learning and studying the mistakes made by Ryback's opponents in the previous weeks, the Grand Rapids native quickly antagonized the whole audience, condemning his hometown fellows for their inherent mediocrity with an absolutely majestic promo. Kaye believes himself to be destined for greatness and judging by the amazing poise shown in the delivery of his victory promise,
no mentally sane individual would question the brightness of his wrestling future. Feeding off the crowd's intense hate, Jacob Kaye tried to catch his adversary off-guard by quickly initiating his assault on Ryback, demonstrating once again his superior intelectual and tactical skills. The attack, however, proved unsuccessful, as Ryback's physical power yet again overmatched his opponents'. Despite the surprising loss, Jacob Kaye left with his head held high: clocking in at one minute and seven seconds, Kaye established a new record for endurance, a mark that will probably last for years to come. By the end of the match, the frustration was clear on Ryback's face and as he angrily walked to the back, Jacob Kaye laid on the ring smiling, knowing this won't be the last time the WWE Universe will hear from him.
Promo: :steiner2 :steiner2 :steiner2 :steiner2 :steiner2
Match: :steiner2 :steiner2 :steiner2 :steiner2
Overall: :steiner2 :steiner2 :steiner2 :steiner2 1/2​

With Barry Stevens and Jacob Kaye both earning a score of four and a half STEINERS, this epic confrontation for the number 1 spot in the jobber ranking will have to be decided in over-time.
The outcome of this duel will be decided by head-to-head competition in five categories. The first jobber to win three of the categories will win their rightful spot as the prestigious NUMBER 1 JOBBER IN THE WORLD.

1. Interest among the WWE roster.
Barry Stevens: Most of the roster from NXT, including Kaitlyn showing off her magnificently toned thighs in denim shorts.
Jacob Kaye: Jimmy and Jey Uso's awkward excitement.
ADVANTAGE: Stevens 1-0

2. Most impressive ring gear.
Barry Stevens: Black and white shorts/ wrestling boots with black and white kick pads
Jacob Kaye: Traditional jobber black spandex pants/ black wrestling boots
ADVANTAGE: Kaye 1-1

3. Place on the card.
Barry Stevens: Middle of the show, after a handicap match featuring David Otunga, Mark Henry and R-Truth.
Jacob Kaye: Between Khali squashing Cody Rhodes and an AJ/ Kaitlyn backstage segment. Second to last match on the card.
ADVANTAGE: Kaye 2-1

Does Stevens have what it takes to make a comeback? Can Kaye maintain his lead with only two points left? Continue reading for the very exciting conclusion!

4. Most impressive accomplishment.
Barry Stevens: Quickest heel turn in WWE history.
Jacob Kaye: Longest match in Ryback's career.
ADVANTAGE: Stevens 2-2

Here we are. With the score tied at 2 points each, Barry Stevens manages to keep himself alive via history making heel turn. Within a single minute of WWE television exposure, Barry felt disrespected by the audience and decided to voice his displeasure. Who knew this regrettable display of contempt for the crowd's emotions would allow him to keep his place as the premium jobber in the WWE?
This already legendary battle is about to have its much awaited finish. Who will prevail?

The last category is...

5. Most impressive physique.
Barry Stevens: Slightly prominent stomach. No muscular definition. "Exotic" tattoos.
Jacob Kaye: Pale skin. Athletic, lean physique.
ADVANTAGE: Kaye 3-2

Questionable criteria gives a split-decision victory to Jacob Kaye. Like many talented performers before him, Barry Stevens loses his spot due to WWE's infatuation with prototypical muscular physiques. It was a memorable reign but it has come to an unexpected end. Who will be the next in line? Another unknown having the opportunity of a lifetime? Heath Slater? JTG? One thing is certain, whoever it is, he will have a very difficult task in his hands as our brand new ranking leader Jacob Kaye looks to surpass Barry Stevens' 4 week title reign.

Current Ranking:
1st place- Jacob Kaye: 4 1/2 STEINERS
2nd place- Barry Stevens: 4 1/2 STEINERS
3rd place- Benny Camer: 3 3/4 STEINERS
4th place- Danny Lerman: 3 STEINERS
 
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