So, thought I'd take one of N-Zone's ideas and let random.org decide a PPV and see what comes out. What you get is:
DR CUBE'S RANDOMHOUSE CHALLENGE
All match types/stipulations and competitors are randomly assigned. It was a pretty disappointing PPV, but not car crash terrible. I actually made record PPV revenue and I think the buy-rate was very high.
- It opened with a 5 v 5 Surivor match. Team Williams (Petey Williams, Mike Knox, Seth Rollins, The Nazi Destructor, and Beef Wellington) going over Team Flair (David Flair, The Amazing Darkstone, Dick Justice, Big E Langston, and Kenny Dykstra) to the tune of 2 stars (which is fucking
generous as there is some atrocious talent in there). Big E Langston making his debut after months of waiting in the sidelines probably did not contribute to this rating. Mike Knox with the final pin of course.
- Then a standard 4 way match with Mahal obviously going over. 1.5 stars for that one. I blame Scotty 2 Hotty as his morale is awful.
- Then another 4 way match which was somehow better than the previous one. I don't know how. It had fucking Stacy Keibler in it and Shaggy 2 Dope from Insane Clown Posse in it
. Both of them can't wrestle. Shaggy 2 Dope can a bit, but Keibler has no stats. Rollins really carried this match, and Scotty 2 Hotty should be ashamed of himself.
- Then another
4 way match - Robby Starr getting his second match of the night even though he's an unknown tag team jobber. 2 stars though, fair play to them all. Was tempted to have Dick Justice go over for the shock win, but Ambrose would have cried so I thought better of it. Morale in CZW is already poor and people leave almost daily, so let's not stir the pot.
- 3 way tag match. 2nd best match of the night, great team of Kash/Mysterio getting the W. Thought this could have been a better match but I only blame Kenny Dykstra. He's also a sad panda backstage and is probably on his way out. He was a pet project that failed spectacularly. I can't believe I thought to even put him in a feud with Mike Knox.
- Hold on a minute Mysterio, stay in the ring, you got another match to win! Match of the night and unbelievably Stacy Keibler's second match of the night. She was really contributing to the workrate. Should have made her eat the pin in hindsight but whatever.
- The only singles match of the night. Big E Langston vs Seth Rollins IRON MAN MATCH RULES. Fucking awful match, don't know how it didn't get a dud. If the game was more realistic people would probably be leaving by now - Big E Langston is terrible and this was Rollins' 4th match of the night.
- BIG TAG MAIN EVENT. Knox and Mahal putting their differences aside to fight the threat of Tommaso Ciampa (an opener) and number 1 gay heel Richie Steamboat. Knox gets the pin and the crowd go home confused but probably happy.