When I play this game, I regularly find myself saying these words and phrases ''Cunt. Prick. Fuck sake. Oh fuck off. What a load of shit. Load of bollocks. Piss off. Bullshit.'' This game brings out the worst in me!
I'm going to play Bioshock for a few days, that game won't have me filling swear jars.
Bioshock is fucking class and every phrase you listed is exactly what i use.
Someone take FIFA away from rush before he kills someone.
im not sure whether i can put myself through another session of this.
just pass after pass. the guy i want to pass it to is there. point stick in direction. nope. either it will miraculously go to one of your players in a worse position OR straight to an opponent.
want to do a lofted through ball. unfortunately, there is someone directly alongside you. but there's someone free on the wing! nope, a 1 meter lofted through ball right next to you.
opponent gets ball near the box. you stop moving. nope. player keeps moving, allowing opposition to turn and have a free shot, which will 9/10 times hit the back of the net.
try to play around an opponent. nope. they can defend perfectly, and no matter what happens, will take the ball off your toes and launch an unstoppable counter attack because it takes an age for you players to turn around.
try to go one on with with anyone named felipe santana/david luiz/dede. nope. no matter how fast your striker is, these three will ALWAYS catch up. every single time. reus with full stamina is running ahead of david luiz? no matter. luiz WILL catch up and he WILL muscle you off the ball and you WILL look like a nonce.
dont run near another player. not even close. they will find a way to stick a boot out and either trip you, kick the ball away or trip over the ball, thus tripping you up. this is vital.
there will be times that, no matter how many times you press the pass button, you will not pass. you will keep running or just stand there, looking like a mong. a favourite if you've just kicked off with the game tied at 3-3 in the 90th minute.
jumping to clear a corner. don't bother. it won't happen.
looking at a player who doesn't have the ball while in the penalty area. penalty to the opposition. a random favourite from time to time. could be running next to a player and then BAM penalty.
flicking the ball past the keeper and getting brought down. you won't get a penalty. it just won't happen. unless you hold the ball and turn so they can collect the ball while taking the back of your legs out. this is always a penalty. every single time. even if the only contact is them reaching around the leg and picking up the ball. too bad. the opponent turned. that's game over.
there's probably others but that's all i can think of now.
Honestly this post just needs to be reposted as much as possible.