Learning to break kayfabe
Join Date: Jan 2011
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Re: Official TNA DVD Help/Discussion/Review Thread
For whatever reason, I decided to pick a random episode of Impact from ages ago and give it a twirl to see how it holds up nowadays. So, I pick a random disc and hope for the best. What do I get? The 2008 Turkey Bowl. Yeah...
So the show starts with a promo, how unusual. And what's accomplished? Very little. It's essentially Rhino telling us that the group in the ring is now called the Frontline, that everybody in the group apart from AJ and Joe sucks and that they need new members. Cue the MEM, who do a whole lot of nothing other than make jokes about the Frontline liking anal sex. Terrible way to start the show, the only redeeming factor was how pimpin' Steiner looked. After this, there's an interview with Angle (God knows how he got backstage so quick) where we find out Mick Foley is the enforcer in Kurt's match at Final Resolution, to which Kurt responds by knocking a picture off the wall in RAGE MODE.
We get a pretty average series of 3-Way matches throughout the night between Rhino/Hernandez/Dutt, Cute Kip/Shelley/Creed and Bashir/Morgan/Rave. Sounds painfully average doesn't it? Between the 3 of them there's about 10 minutes of actual wrestling. Actually, the second 3-way wasn't that bad, it was just too short to care about. Shelley was getting over nicely around this time. The other two are a whole bunch of nothing, Hernandez and Morgan look like dopes in their matches doing all the work and getting nothing for it. It's sad to see Jimmy Rave in this position, he's doesn't even come across like enhancement talent, more like a piece of meat.
There's a whole host of backstage promos between those 3 matches and before the Turkey Bowl final. We get Angle promising Jarrett that he's bringing backup to FR (which turned out to be Al Snow), Rhino begging 3D to join Frontline whilst AJ and Joe bitch and moan, The Beautiful People get a letter from Sarah Palin saying she's coming to "Impass", A Rough-Cut on LAX who say they're Ying and Yang, Traci and her sweaty boobs grants Christy Hemme a KO title match if she can beat Saeed (which she does in a terrible match where we find out Hemme has a move called the Flying Firecrotch Guillotine Legdrop), Booker T offering his locker room to TBP is they protect Sharmell, MEM charming 3D with suits, Tenay interviews AJ who has a sob story about an alcoholic father to which Nash says he's full of shit. JESUS CHRIST.
The only decent backstage skit of the night was a 30 second interview with Shelley who says the 25K from the Turkey Bowl could buy AJ a personality, Joe a singlet and Foley a wardrobe. But even from this, it's plainly obvious who's ending up in the Turkey Suit. There's that much backstage stuff, I'd say that the fans in the audience only got about 40 minutes at best of actual stuff in the arena.
The actual Turkey Bowl final match between Bashir/Rhino/Shelley isn't the worst. It gets a little bit of time and is actually pretty fun. Of course, Rhino wins the 25K and Shelley ends up in the Turkey suit. But not without protest. Foley (donning a leather vest/leopard shit combo) makes him choose between the suit and the job and ends up planting Shelley with a DDT. Shelley's sell was hilarious, has to be seen. I swear to God, Shelley is the only decent thing about this show.
So after all THAT, how can the show end? Why, only with another promo! Basically, 3D kiss the MEM's asses and then turn on them. Best part of the whole promo was Ray flashing a slapjack in his jacket to AJ. We go off the air with Sting saving Angle from going through a table. FUCK ME.
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