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post #1 of 26 (permalink) Old 09-12-2013, 09:02 PM Thread Starter
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Want to become a smarky football/soccer fan

to all you uk people out there. We know it's the most popular sports in the world but I need to know where to start and get ahead. Hardly know anything of it. Been to 2 football events with my father when I was a kid but wasn't really getting into it but know as a grow man I've gotten more open minded. Soo any suggestions

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post #2 of 26 (permalink) Old 09-12-2013, 09:12 PM
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Re: Want to become a smarky football/soccer fan

Choose a team to support and then look down on their rival teams, also act as if you know better than other supporters.

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post #3 of 26 (permalink) Old 09-12-2013, 09:24 PM
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Re: Want to become a smarky football/soccer fan

- Pick a team to follow then make sure you boo every little decision the referee makes against you. Even if it's the right decision. Call him a wanker and chant 'you don't know what you're doing'.

- When space opens up for one of your players, scream 'HIT IT!' and when it hits row Z of the stand, throw your hands up and shout 'what the fuck you shooting from there for???'

- When an opposition player stays down after a challenge chant 'dig a hole'. Then when it looks serious, make sure to applaud him getting stretchered off.

- Follow your team through thick and thin, and when an insanely rich Saudi Prince buys out another club with promises of international star signings, claim you supported them all along.

Voila, you're now a fully-trained modern football fan.

Last edited by Palahniuk; 09-12-2013 at 09:27 PM.
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post #4 of 26 (permalink) Old 09-12-2013, 09:34 PM
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Re: Want to become a smarky football/soccer fan

On a serious note, any time I speak to Americans who don't really like football I ask them what they've seen of it and all they seem to be aware of is international football and the World Cup. In fairness, if that's all I knew of football I'd probably get bored of it too. International football is shite at times.

Have a look into the English Premier League and watch any big live Champions League games you can.
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post #5 of 26 (permalink) Old 09-12-2013, 09:43 PM
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Re: Want to become a smarky football/soccer fan

Quote:
Originally Posted by Palahniuk View Post
- Pick a team to follow then make sure you boo every little decision the referee makes against you. Even if it's the right decision. Call him a wanker and chant 'you don't know what you're doing'.

- When space opens up for one of your players, scream 'HIT IT!' and when it hits row Z of the stand, throw your hands up and shout 'what the fuck you shooting from there for???'

- When an opposition player stays down after a challenge chant 'dig a hole'. Then when it looks serious, make sure to applaud him getting stretchered off.

- Follow your team through thick and thin, and when an insanely rich Saudi Prince buys out another club with promises of international star signings, claim you supported them all along.

Voila, you're now a fully-trained modern football fan.
It's sad how true this is about some fans.



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post #6 of 26 (permalink) Old 09-12-2013, 09:48 PM
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Re: Want to become a smarky football/soccer fan

Simple steps.

-Play FIFA and Football Manager.
-Watch Bundesliga and Serie A on BT Sport.

Now you can claim to be a football genius and talk about how insert 'fancy sounding obscure foreign player' is the future.


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post #7 of 26 (permalink) Old 09-12-2013, 10:05 PM
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Re: Want to become a smarky football/soccer fan

Depends on what level of smark you wanna be. The easiest way forward is to hit up Barca or Madrid. But with everyone jumping on the German bandwagon your best best to support either Dortmund or Munich and pretend like you've followed the league for years

Oh yeah and while doing so look down on the premier league



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post #8 of 26 (permalink) Old 09-12-2013, 10:16 PM
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Re: Want to become a smarky football/soccer fan

All you need to know is:

It's Liverpool's year. Every year.
Everton = Cunts.
Referees = Bigger Cunts.
GOAT.
WOAT.
Arsene Wenger = French Wagg.

Learn all of this and you're well on your way to become a 'smarky' football fan.


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post #9 of 26 (permalink) Old 09-12-2013, 10:41 PM
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Re: Want to become a smarky football/soccer fan

Cheer for vanilla midgets with "good work rate."

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post #10 of 26 (permalink) Old 09-13-2013, 11:36 AM
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Re: Want to become a smarky football/soccer fan

If your are looking for a team that will disappoint you every week then support Hibernian. My Team

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hibernian_F.C.
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