I'm wondering what heart-breaking way we'll go out this time. I can pretty much remember:
96 - Out on penalties to ze Germans, though I can barely remember this tournament, apart from Southgate's penalty miss and Shearer battering Holland.
98 - Out on penalties to Argentina after being the better side, and even looking possible winners with 10 men. Campbell's disallowed goal. Owen's wonder goal. Beckham's red card. That game had everything.
00 - I'll never, ever forget that horror image of Phil Neville sliding pointlessly into Moldovan in the 90th minute for a penalty that knocked us out. Romania fucked us over for the second consecutive tournament with a last minute goal.
02 - That Ronaldinho goal. Shame we met Brazil so early on. Wouldn't have had to if we could've beaten fucking Nigeria.
04 - Rooney injured after being superb all tournament. Rui Costa's wonder goal. Campbell's 119th minute disallowed goal. Out on penalties to Portugal.
06 - Rooney's red card. Ronaldo's wink. Everyone playing shit all tournament apart from Beckham and Hargreaves. Out on penalties AGAIN to Portugal.
08 - WOLLY IN THE BROLLY
10 - Lampard's disallowed goal. Being absolutely destroyed by a brilliant German performance. Horror defending and 90 minutes of Barry being Ozil's bitch.
12 - Probably penalties again in the first knockout stage. I'm guessing to someone like France. I'd be surprised if we made it any further. Life is never dull as an England fan, even under Capello. Romania aren't there to beat us in the group stage, so avoid Portugal in the knock out rounds, and we'll be fine