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English Premier League 2016/2017 Season

122K views 3K replies 132 participants last post by  Jaxx 
#1 ·
HYPE

The fixtures came out today:

http://www.bbc.com/sport/football/premier-league/fixtures

Premier League champions Leicester City will begin their title defence at promoted Hull City on 13 August.

The big game of the opening weekend sees Arsenal host Liverpool. :klopp

Jose Mourinho and Pep Guardiola will not have long to wait to meet, with their new clubs, Manchester United and Manchester City respectively, due to clash at Old Trafford on 10 September.

And West Ham's first league match at their new Olympic Stadium home will be against Bournemouth on 20 August.
 
#18 · (Edited)

Credit: Steamed Hams™


As head of the SMILEY POLICE and due to work being quiet atm, the following has been made as a guide for everyone. The code for each smiley is included:


Recently Added Smileys:

:evra evra :pogba2 pogba2 :messi2 messi2

:phelan phelan :mowen mowen

:joel2 joel2 :msn msn


Match Smileys:


:goool goool :goool2 goool2 :save save

:howler howler :miss miss :dive dive

:yellowcard yellowcard :redcard redcard


CORE Smileys:


:brodgers brodgers :pogba pogba :villa villa

:benched benched :loveit loveit :bigron bigron

:penaldo2 penaldo2 :walphtf walphtf



Text Head Smileys:

:ibra ibra :higuain higuain :disdrogba disdrogba

:keys keys :hkane hkane :muller muller



The JET SCALE Smileys:


:jetgood jetgood :jetbad jetbad


Laughing Smileys:


:bosque bosque :terry terry :blinker blinker :pique2 pique2

:avb3 avb3 :fergie fergie :costa costa

:carra carra :ken ken :torres torres :robben2 robben2



Sad Smileys:


:mj2 mj2 :mjeng mjeng :mjchelsea mjchelsea :penaldo penaldo

:jose jose :sadbecks sadbecks :claude claude

:sadpanda sadpanda :downing downing :terry1 terry1


Gifs:


:banderas banderas :pards Pards :ibra2 ibra2


Hogan Smileys:


:hogansun hogansun :hogannew hogannew :hoganinbred hoganinbred

:hoganutd hoganutd :hoganliv hoganliv :hoganbarca hoganbarca

:hogancity hogancity :hoganbayern hoganbayern :hoganars hoganars



Jet Smileys:


:jet jet :jet2 jet2 :jet3 jet3 :jet4 jet4

:jet5 jet5 :jet6 jet6 :jet7 jet7 :jet8 jet8


Poster Smileys:


:berlino berlino :silverc silverc

:cockhead1 cockhead1 :cockhead2 cockhead2 :cockhead3 cockhead3

:cockhead4 cockhead4


ROBOT FELLAINI Smileys:

:fellabot fellabot :fellabot2 fellabot2


England Smileys:

:whiteknight whiteknight :moore moore

:banderas2 banderas2 :lolengland lolengland


FAKE IRELAND Smileys:


:fightmem8 fightmem8


Footballer Smileys:


:sparker sparker:jones jones

:griez griez :willian willian :hazard hazard :welbeck welbeck

:eek:zil ozil :hartdog hartdog :balecock balecock


Manager Smileys:


:wilkins wilkins :pep pep :kean kean

:pards pards :emporer emporer


MSN Smileys:


:messi messi :suarez1 suarez1 :suarez2 suarez2 :neymar neymar



'Clean' Bayern Smileys:



:coman coman :carlo carlo :lewa lewa

:xabi2 xabi2


Wheeler Dealer Smileys:


:arry arry :redknapp redknapp


THE ROOB Smileys:


:theroon theroon :lotsoroon lotsoroon


Liverpewl +Jurgen FLOPP Smileys:


:hendo hendo :firmino firmino :sturridge sturridge :stevie stevie

:mario mario :KLOPP KLOPP :klopp2 klopp2 :kenny kenny

:klopp6 klopp6 :coutinho coutinho


Towns(end) Smileys:


:towns towns - The others were PURGED :no:


FRAUD MANAGER Smileys:


:woy woy :woytf woytf :woywoah woywoah

:martinez martinez :gnev gnev



Moyes Smileys:



:moyes4 moyes4 :moyes7 moyes7 :moyes6 moyes6

:moyes1 moyes1 :moyes5 moyes5 :moyes8 moyes8



Beautiful Skin Smileys:



:xabi3 xabi3 (RIP Adam Lallana)



Stern Looking Managers Holding Guns Smileys:



:simeone simeone :conte conte



Titus Bramble + Other (Less Important) Sunderland Smileys:



:bramble bramble :cattermole cattermole :dozy dozy


Steamed Hams / Aston Villa Smileys:


:heskeymania heskeymania :hesk2 hesk2 :barry barry

:darkbarry darkbarry :darkheskey darkheskey :bozza bozza


CORRUPT FIFA + Des Lynam Smileys:


:blatter blatter :des des


Other Acceptable Non-Fitba Smileys:


Note: All Gifs are fine accept that shitty Henry Hill one.

:troll troll :lenny lenny :snrub snrub :penguin penguin :quite quite :yas yas

:mcbain mcbain :homer4 homer4 :Hutz Hutz :datass datass :mark: mark:

:trips5 trips5 :hogan hogan :bateman bateman :bird bird :cudi cudi

:CENA CENA :hmm: hmm: :done done :sodone sodone

Will update this when new (relevant) smileys are added :penguin
 
#2,195 ·
Deffo calling bullshit on the Alright Mate guy. I'm a Wigan fan and before our FA Cup final I got countless people saying to me "would you take an FA Cup win if it meant you'd go down?" and the answer was yes, every time. Winning a trophy is what football is about. Who gives a fuck if you're in the prem or the champ or whatever? You'll likely never get the chance to experience winning that comp again in your lifetime and that day at Wembley will be remembered by me forever, staying up at Stoke on the last day of the season was barely remembered the next season when we were right back to fighting relegation again :lol

And that's just the FA Cup. For a club like Leicester being offered a PL title win and then relegation the next year, and they say no? Piss off. Last year really has gotten to them. Deluded.
 
#3 · (Edited)
We've been discussing the worst transfers made by teams in Prem history, in the chatbox, so I'll try and make note of the utter dross made by the top teams. Obviously some gems have been discovered but there's no fun in that.

Money spent compared to the performance given is the main criteria. But just generally being fucking shit is another.

Arsenal
Francis Jeffers - 8 million
Pascal Cygan - 2 million
Phillipe Senderson - 2.5 million
Mikael Silvestre - fuck all
Seb Squillaci - 4 million
Gervinho - 10.5 million
Andre Santos - 7 million
Callum Chambers - 16 million (harsh this one as he could end up alright)
Gabriel Paulista - 13.5 million

Chelsea
Chris Sutton - 10 million
Winstone Bogarde - wage thief
Juan Veron - 15 million
Mateja Kezman - 5 million
Asier Del Horno - 8 million
Shaun Wright-Phillips - 21 million
Andrei Shevchenko - 30 million
Khalid Boulahrouz - 7 million
Yuri Zhirkov - 18 million
Fernando Torres - 50 million
Marco van Ginkel - 8 million
Mohamed Salah - 11 million
Juan Cuadrado - 26 million
Baba Rahman - 21 million (might come good)
Falcao - 8 billion in wages

Everton
Alex Nyarko - 4.5 million
Andy van der Meyde - 2 million
Per Kroldrup - 5 million
Diniyar Bilyaletdinov - 9 million
Oumar Niasse - 13.5 million

Liverpool
Titi Camara - 2.5 million
Bernard Diomede - 3 million
Chris Kirkland - 6 million
El Hadji Diouf - 10 million
Nick Barmby - 6 million
Bruno Cheyrou - 3.5 million
Salif Diao - 5 million
Fernando Morientes - 6 million
Ryan Babel - 11.5 million
Diego Cavalieri - 3.5 million
Albert Riera - 8 million
Alberto Aquilani - 20 million
Andy Carroll - 35 million
Christian Poulson - 4.5 million
Stewart Downing - 20 million
Luis Alberto - 7 million
Iago Aspas - 7 million
Simon Mignolet - 9 million (he's fucking shit)
Lazar Markovic - 20 million
Dejan Lovren - 20 million (might end up alright under Klopp)
Mario Balotelli - 16 million
Christian Benteke - 32.5 million

Man City
Alf-Inge Haaland - 2.5 million (bitch)
Jon Macken - 5 million
Matias Vuoso - 3.5 million
David Sommeil - 3.5 million
Georgios Samaras - 6 million
Rolando Bianchi - 9 million
Felipe Caicedo - 5 million
Jo - 18 million
Robinho - 32.5 million
Roque Santa Cruz - 17.5 million
Jack Rodwell - 12 million
Scott Sinclair - 6 million
Eliaquim Mangala - 32 million
Wilfried Bony - 28 million

Man Utd
Massimo Taibi - 4.5 million
Juan Veron - 28 million
David Bellion - 2 million
Eric Djemba-Djemba - 3.5 million
Kleberson - 6 million
Anderson - 20 million
Nani - 20 million (can't find accurate amounts for these two)
Gabriel Obertan - 3 million
Bebe - 7 million
Wilfried Zaha - 15 million
Marouane Fellaini - 27 million
Angel di Maria - 60 million
Memphis Depay - 25 million
Falcao - 8 billion in wages

Tottenham
Sergei Rebrov - 11 million
Ben Thatcher - 5 million
Helder Postiga - 6 million
Mido - 4.5 million
Darren Bent - 16.5 million
Ricardo Rocha - 3.5 million
Roman Pavlyuchenko - 14 million
Paulinho - 17 million
Roberto Soldado - 26 million
Vlad Chichires - 8 million
Erik Lamela - 26 million (not worth that yet)​

Who're we having then?
 
#874 · (Edited)
Smalling with partial to massive culpability in all 4 goals :bosque :banderas

100 Million man anonymous in attack and garbage in defense :pogba2 :banderas

Ibra going missing in a big game :ibra :banderas

Mourinho getting humiliated by a team he turned to shit last year :jose :banderas

United SEVENTH in the table :silverc :banderas

No ROON on the pitch for the fans to blame :lotsoroon :banderas
 
#2,158 · (Edited)
You were absolute shite to watch last season, you've just not been able to defend this season.

Ranieri has to take some of the blame as he was the manager but the main culprits in this were the players, they've massively let him down. No doubt they've gotten inflated egos and expect red carpets wherever they go. Apparently they were key in him getting the sack too. Total mongs.

You aren't even nailed on to be relegated, there's some fucking shit in this league who you'd probably finish above at the end if just a few players bothered turning up. The decent thing to do is take that risk on the guy that won you the league, who was responsible for the highlight of your clubs history. But no, we MIGHT go down. You might end up with Nigel Pearson back and he's a fucking idiot.

I'd rarely advocate booing but I'd be all over those players the next fixture. I said it in a prior post, I hope Leicester go down and I hope no-one signs the average shit you've got now. That specifically includes Vardy and Mahrez.
 
#2,161 ·
Were we though? We counter attacked the hell out of teams, playing good quick football. The team showed heart, fight & passion and that's why so many fell in love with what we were doing. This season the football we've played has been dreadful, aimless hoof balls, can't string five passes together, completely the opposite of what we saw last season.

Believe me if you could sack players, I'd have Drinkwater, Mahrez & Vardy out of the door right now. Ranieri has made some terrible mistakes though, his team selections have been ludicrous, being too loyal to some players has had a massive effect. We played Everton in the FA Cup playing 4-3-3 and we picked up our first away win of the season, yet next game against Chelsea he tries to match them up playing three at the back and we got destroyed, changed it again against Southampton and we got destroyed.

As I said we've lost to all the teams down the bottom apart from Palace but we are yet to go to Selhurst Park. If we got relegated under Ranieri then what? Keep him just because he won us the Premier League? Then what if he doesn't get us promoted? Still keep him because he won us the Premier League? It's a results business and our results throughout the season but especially since the start of 2017 have been dreadful, if it was any other team the manager would of been sacked weeks ago, we've only acted now because we see no way forward.

What we need is a motivator, Ranieri was not that motivator.

This side on paper should be top 10, our squad should be competing with the likes of West Brom etc... Who are currently 8th. We have an average and ageing defence I'll admit that, we should of signed a first choice centre back in January, but from midfield to attack we have some very good players, some very young talented players like Ndidi, Kapustka & Gray.

Some players have underperformed, but if we can find the right guy who can motivate them and we end up staying in the League then that's good enough for me.
 
#2,807 ·
"Jose is the best manager I have played for" - C. Ronaldo

"Jose is like a father to me" - Frank Lampard

"Mourinho made me into the man I am today" - Didier Drogba

"Mourinho is much better than Pep, even I must admit" - Xavi

"I am glad he is my papa" - Jose Mourinho Jr

"Sometimes a draw is much better than a win, especially against your rivals" - Pep Guardiola

"Jose Mourinho is the saviour of football" - Johan Cruyff

"Some say Paul Scholes is the best striker of the ball we've had here but Mourinho can hit a tree from 60 yards away" - Bobby Charlton

"I am the Special One" - Jose Mourinho
 
#3,165 · (Edited)
Seb your prediction was a ferocious form of super AIDS - everything was COMPLETELY WRONG, get over it. And it's made even worse (if that's possible) after the way you browbeat Renegade for having the different AND CORRECT opinion that Leicester would struggle. Mikal doesn't need to defend himself any more from the interrogation.

Also Vader, you're from the arse end of Manchester, I don't think that puts you in any position to criticise another place.
 
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