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post #1 of 113 (permalink) Old 10-05-2012, 10:51 PM Thread Starter
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How to give RAW the biggest ratings ever (Joke Thread)

Basically, create an episode of RAW where ratings are sure to skyrocket to like a 10.0.

The Rock returns and faces Punk for the title. Then, he wins the title and breaks CM Punks arm.
Then he straight up takes MITB from Ziggler like a boss and cashes it in on Sheamus and beats him in 17 seconds.
Then Austin comes back and finds Punk in the back and Stunners him 5 times.
Undertaker comes out and then says "I NEED A WRESTLEMANIA OPPONENT BUT I DONT KNOW WHO BECAUSE YOU'RE ALL BITCHES LOLOLOL"
then HHH music hits, but he doesn't come out.
Cena's music hits, he doesn't come out though.
Rock's music hits, doesn't come out.
Lesnar comes out!!!....but then he stops at the top of the ramp, smiles, and points to the ramp and then...GOLDBERGS MUSIC HITS.

Goldberg comes out, but he comes behind the ring instead of through the entrance and then spears Undertaker.
Then he picks up the mic and says "UNDERTAKER, YOU'RE NEXT!!!"...but not for me though.
Then he points to the ceiling and STINGS MUSIC HITS....and he beats up both Goldberg and Undertaker.
Then a 50 superstar battle royal happens to determine the RAW GM and mark henry returns and wins the entire thing.
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post #2 of 113 (permalink) Old 10-05-2012, 10:59 PM
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Re: How to give RAW the biggest ratings ever (Joke Thread)

Put Mark Henry in every segment. EVERY SEGMENT!
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post #3 of 113 (permalink) Old 10-05-2012, 11:02 PM
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Re: How to give RAW the biggest ratings ever (Joke Thread)

Kelly Kelly live sex celebration with the entire roster (on screen this time of course). I guess WWE lost their chance at a 10.0 rating when they fired her.

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post #4 of 113 (permalink) Old 10-05-2012, 11:03 PM Thread Starter
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Re: How to give RAW the biggest ratings ever (Joke Thread)

Quote:
Originally Posted by Aid180 View Post
Kelly Kelly live sex celebration with the entire roster (on screen this time of course). I guess WWE lost their chance at a 10.0 rating when they fired her.
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post #5 of 113 (permalink) Old 10-05-2012, 11:03 PM
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Re: How to give RAW the biggest ratings ever (Joke Thread)

Quote:
Originally Posted by SummerLove View Post
Undertaker comes out and then says "I NEED A WRESTLEMANIA OPPONENT BUT I DONT KNOW WHO BECAUSE YOU'RE ALL BITCHES LOLOLOL"


I know this is a joke thread but...you had me at LOLOLOL.

Edit: The rest was an interesting read, though.


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Last edited by Calahart; 10-05-2012 at 11:07 PM.
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post #6 of 113 (permalink) Old 10-05-2012, 11:11 PM
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Re: How to give RAW the biggest ratings ever (Joke Thread)

Just strip AJ naked in the ring, and watch the rating boom.

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post #7 of 113 (permalink) Old 10-05-2012, 11:13 PM Thread Starter
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Re: How to give RAW the biggest ratings ever (Joke Thread)

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Originally Posted by mr cricket View Post
Just strip AJ naked in the ring, and watch the rating boom.
A lot more would "boom" than just the ratings...
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post #8 of 113 (permalink) Old 10-05-2012, 11:42 PM
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Re: How to give RAW the biggest ratings ever (Joke Thread)

Joking aside, if WWE wants to get ratings all they have to do is something controversial. America has a weird obsession with wrestling and wrestlers. Think about what happened after Punk did his shoot promo. It was controversial, and you had people on TV shows and radio that never talk about wrestling wondering if it was real. Think about Vince and the exploding limo, that shit went viral quick. Right now they're so fixated on not disqualifying Linda in her senate run that they won't try anything that would get people outside of everyday fans talking.


...And Bryan said, "Let there be YES!: and there was YES!"
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post #9 of 113 (permalink) Old 10-05-2012, 11:44 PM
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Re: How to give RAW the biggest ratings ever (Joke Thread)

3 Hour Triple H Promo
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post #10 of 113 (permalink) Old 10-06-2012, 12:03 AM
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Re: How to give RAW the biggest ratings ever (Joke Thread)

just let Sheamus do stand-up comedy for 3 hours straight.


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