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Old 10-06-2012, 11:42 PM   #71 (permalink)
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Default Re: How to give RAW the biggest ratings ever (Joke Thread)

10 Man Elimination Tag Team match.
The Rock, The Undertaker, John Cena, Randy Orton & Stone Cold Steve Austin
vs
CM Punk, Brock Lesnar, Goldberg, Batista & Triple H

Have this go one for like an hour or something, advertise it a week in advance, give Batista & Goldberg 1 night contracts and pay them however much they want to come back for this, with this match the ratings will go through the roof! The things is though I'm half serious. I know its highly unlikely but if this match ever main evented RAW I assure you EVERYBODY would tune in if they knew about it.
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Old 10-07-2012, 12:06 AM   #72 (permalink)
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Default Re: How to give RAW the biggest ratings ever (Joke Thread)

Must get Vince Russo...the way Vince Russo book is magic could save WWE from this awful booking
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Old 10-07-2012, 05:01 AM   #73 (permalink)
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Default Re: How to give RAW the biggest ratings ever (Joke Thread)

Rock vs Brock on live tv could draw big.
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Old 10-07-2012, 09:29 AM   #74 (permalink)
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Default Re: How to give RAW the biggest ratings ever (Joke Thread)

Teddy Long: You want ratings Vince? oh you got it! Tonight we gonna have ourselves a...

Vince: What?

Teddy: A tag-team match!

Vince: Anything else?

Teddy: ...A Tornado tag-team match!

Vince: Any other ideas?

Teddy: ...An Elimination Tag-team match!

Vince: You got more?

Teddy: ...A Steel Cage Tag-team match!

Vince: Any other original ideas?

Teddy: ...A Falls Count Anywhere TAG TEAM MATCH!

Vince: Ok, well which one do you think we should have on Raw?

Teddy: (seems disappointed) I meant that we should have all of those on Raw...

Vince: I ain't got the roster for that many tag matches Teddy....

Teddy: Oh i forgot. I got one more idea...

Vince: What is it?

Teddy: A tag-team Iron man match! Each fall will include one of those tag-team stipulations

Vince: well...that....uhh...seems like a plan.
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Old 10-07-2012, 11:09 AM   #75 (permalink)
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Default Re: How to give RAW the biggest ratings ever (Joke Thread)

Have John Cena stare at the camera during a promo and use the word 'Fuck'.
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Old 10-07-2012, 11:29 AM   #76 (permalink)
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Default Re: How to give RAW the biggest ratings ever (Joke Thread)

Edge and Lita have another live sex celebration on Raw but think about it Lita is now dating CM Punk and Edge is dating Beth who is CM Punk's ex gf my god that would be awkward

Another idea have Vince Russo be revealed as the new Raw GM my god can you imagine the chaos
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Old 10-07-2012, 11:31 AM   #77 (permalink)
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Default Re: How to give RAW the biggest ratings ever (Joke Thread)

Edge and Lita actually have sex this time. K2 fan stole my idea dammit!
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Old 10-07-2012, 12:10 PM   #78 (permalink)
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Default Re: How to give RAW the biggest ratings ever (Joke Thread)

Brodus Clay be danin' in dat ring with them kids, and BOOOM! He suddenly kicks the little cunts in the head! HE BEATS THE SHIT OUT OF CAMERON AND DAT OTHER BITCH! VINCE COMES OUT!! RETURN TO TV-14 APTITUDE ERA! WWE GALAXY BE SHITTIN' THERE PANTS!

#InstantRatingsBoost

#AptitudeEra
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Old 10-07-2012, 01:35 PM   #79 (permalink)
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Default Re: How to give RAW the biggest ratings ever (Joke Thread)

Quote:
Originally Posted by greendayedgehead View Post
Edge and Lita actually have sex this time. K2 fan stole my idea dammit!
Sorry

And yeah they should actually have sex this time and not just fool around under the sheets pretending to do stuff

Quote:
Originally Posted by Xiphias View Post
Have John Cena stare at the camera during a promo and use the word 'Fuck'.
I would mark the fuck out if that happened
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Old 10-07-2012, 01:42 PM   #80 (permalink)
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Default Re: How to give RAW the biggest ratings ever (Joke Thread)

People are right. We need Russo back

Vince McMahon opens the show.
"Time to shake things up dammit!
Brand Extension is no more so we don't need 2 General Managers. We need one comissioner here and that is none other than Vince Russo! Vinnie Ru come on down!"

Vince Russo shakes the hand of McMahon and cuts a promo
"People ask me why I came back. You know what, I don't need this shit! I have 2 kids at home but I came back for the Drew Macs, JTGs and Bertis in this business! Vince McMahon trusts me just like he trusted me in the nineties and I have now full control of this show. As far the former GMs are concerned. Booker I made you a main eventer and that means I can break you so step back and AJ should go back to her Hello Kitty Treasure Island nuthouse. I give you three guys I have chosen to take WWE to a whole new level. Ryback, Mason Ryan and Darren Young"
Shane McMahon appears and says Russo is the evil and he hired 3 evil twins to destroy the business, therefore he gives the fans the "good" counterparts, Goldberg, Batista and John Cena. Goldberg, Batista and Cena start to fight with their evil twins, Ryback, Mason and Young but they are interrupted by the Teddy Long theme
"Hold on Playas! If we gonna do it we gonna do it right with a six man tag team match" Russo says that he calls the shots here and Teddy says that this is his last call before he leaves
"One more thing Vinnie Ru playa! You will also go one on one with Da Undertaka"
Lights go out and The Undertaker comes to the ring. Russo tries to leave but Kane appears and drags him back in the ring. The Brothers of Destruction grab Russo by the throat while Teddy Long dances but they let Russo go and they reveal themselves as Brian Lee and Luke Gallows, the fake Undertaker and Kane when all of sudden Diesel appears but he reveals himself as fake Diesel aka the real Kane and chokeslams Russo.

Time for the main event
Goldberg, Batista and John Cena vs. evil twins Ryback, Mason Ryan and Darren Young. There is a key on the pole for the door of hell where the evil twins came from.
Cena grabs the key and opens the door to hell. He shows the AA on Darren Young and throws him through the door, Batista does the same with Mason. Ryback realizes it's 3 on 1 so he tries to convince Cena and Batista that he is Goldberg and that Goldberg is Ryback.
Tensai appears and says in japanese there is only one way to find out who is the real Goldberg, both should try to suplex him. Goldberg does it without problems but Ryback fucks it up twice. The whole roster laughs at Ryback for being a Goldberg rip-off and they all throw Ryback through the door of hell.
The whole roster starts to celebrate in the ring. Scott Hall appears in the crowd " Hey Yo! You people know who I am, but you don't know why I'm here. I'm here for the beer" The APA theme starts and Faarooq and Bradshaw bring some beer with them, Sandman appears also with some beer. Stone Cold appears with the beer truck and all the superstars celebrate in the ring. Kelly Kelly is in the ring and a big gangbang starts. Sin Cara also wants some fun but he botches and ejaculates too early.
Melina comes to the ring and the gangbang continues while John Morrison watches from the ringside.
Linda McMahon appears crying "Think of the senate elections Vince!"
Vince responds "Screw the elections! We got bitches in the ring
Time to celebrate"
Kevin Nash grabs the mic "Hey Linda look at the adjective, celebrate"

The show ends with Chris Warren performing the DX theme with all members and the Ravishing Rick Rude hologram dancing except of Chyna who just watched the performance in a wheelchair after her recent gangbang.

End of the show
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