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Old 10-06-2012, 01:06 PM   #51 (permalink)
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Default Re: How to give RAW the biggest ratings ever (Joke Thread)

Quote:
Originally Posted by A$AP View Post
Mid way through a divas match, Triple H just comes out and starts beating the shit out of like 4 of the Divas with his eyes closed.
Pedigrees for all.
Walks to the back with his eyes closed. Cameras follow him.
Goes into his locker room and back to sleep.
Cops are looking for Triple H in the arena while he's sleeping but Stephanie gets there first.
Wakes him up. He doesnt remember anything.
Every week, he assaults a different woman/group of women in his sleep.
This all leads to Stephanie getting him into a meeting with Dr. Some-generic-name-that-all-the-WWE-doctors-have. This ones a woman.
She consults him and asks him why he's been beating women in his sleep.
After a long pause, he opens his eyes, says that hes been awake all along and hits her with a sledge hammer!.
#SWERVE #RATINGS #TRIPLEHWOMANBEATER
Quote:
Originally Posted by A$AP View Post
The feud basically continues until Wrestlemania until Chyna comes back.
Triple H dominates the match and beats the shit out of her with the ring bell.
Triple H suddenly tears a quad and is struggling to get back up.
Stephanie starts walking down to the ring mid way through the match.
Just when we think she's gunna help Triple H, she pulls out a golden dildo from her undercarriage, hands it to Chyna. #SWERVE
Triple H finally makes it to his feet, Chyna smashes Triple H in the face with the golden dildo.
She mounts him and suffocates him with her implants and he passes out.
Winner by submission, Chyna.
Chyna is interviewed by Josh Mathews about her victory in the parking lot.
Suddenly, an Ice Cream truck comes speeding towards the two.
Mathews pushes Chyna in the way and saves himself, instant kill.
We go to an instant replay.
In the ice cream truck are Vince McMahon, Marty Jannetty, Half of the Spirit Squad and David Arquette.

#Ratings #IceCreamTruckofDeath #GoldenDildoHeelTurn

The story continues.
You're killing me! :busta
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Old 10-06-2012, 01:08 PM   #52 (permalink)
Vince gives me a comedy gimmick
 
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Default Re: How to give RAW the biggest ratings ever (Joke Thread)

Have the divas fuck each other....Yeahhhhh....
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Old 10-06-2012, 01:55 PM   #53 (permalink)
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Default Re: How to give RAW the biggest ratings ever (Joke Thread)

have cena adn cm punk romantically make out
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Old 10-06-2012, 02:09 PM   #54 (permalink)
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Default Re: How to give RAW the biggest ratings ever (Joke Thread)

They need to rehire Russo, no joke. Even though hes terrible, at least he can write an entertaining train wreck of a show.
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Old 10-06-2012, 02:21 PM   #55 (permalink)
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Default Re: How to give RAW the biggest ratings ever (Joke Thread)

Its pretty simple turn Cena heel "shake things up a bit" but Cena will have to be late fourtys before that happens
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Old 10-06-2012, 02:36 PM   #56 (permalink)
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Default Re: How to give RAW the biggest ratings ever (Joke Thread)

A$AP is GOAT lol
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Old 10-06-2012, 02:46 PM   #57 (permalink)
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Default Re: How to give RAW the biggest ratings ever (Joke Thread)

We see Clay and his Girls dancin' with Santino and a few kids in the ring, joking around with the Cobra and laughing with the little boys and girls.

Suddenly, a fist crashes through the ring, grabs Santinos leg and breaks it. The camera shows his face full of pain and tears.
The kids are screaming, Clay don't know what's going on, The women jump out of the ring, falling down, crying.
The Arm comes from under the ring to the two women and breaks their legs, too. No butt-to-butt move anymore.
Clay's jumping like crazy to the arm, grabs it and drags the person out.
It's Brock Lesnar.
Brodus tries to smash Lesnars face but Lesnar dodges it and breaks Clays arm in the same move.
The camera now is on Lesnar, looking around to the broken bodies, satisfied. He smiles.

The crowd is shocked.
You hear some people boo, some people scream, and a few hardcorefans cheering. Sick.

Then, Hornswoggle comes out and points at Lesnar. He smiles and is laughing. Then he stops and looks angry. Slobber is coming out of his mouth. He starts to scream and runs Lesnar right in the arms. Lesnar manages to throw Hornswoggle against the steel stairs.

General Manager Aj comes out in that moment, laughing, proudly looking through the arena. She whispers "Great..." through the microphon. She then announces, that Hornswoggle will face Lesnar in Hell in a Cell.
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Old 10-06-2012, 03:02 PM   #58 (permalink)
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Default Re: How to give RAW the biggest ratings ever (Joke Thread)

Easy- live all lesbian sex orgy with the Divas then Mark Henry comes out to cut a heel promo, picks up a vibrator, holds it up to a terrified Eve and says "WHAT DOES THIS DO???!!! HUH?! WHAT DOES THIS DO???!!! *breaks it in half* "NOW IT DON'T DO NOTHIN'!!!"
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Old 10-06-2012, 03:57 PM   #59 (permalink)
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Talking Re: How to give RAW the biggest ratings ever (Joke Thread)

anything involving "accidental" diva nudity would do the trick
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Old 10-06-2012, 04:00 PM   #60 (permalink)
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Default Re: How to give RAW the biggest ratings ever (Joke Thread)

Oh, fuck it! You know Mark Henry = Ratings! So, just have Henry win the wwe championship, and he and Mae Young have a live sex celebration in the ring. We know Mae can take a bump. All the while their son gives out free handjobs to everybody.
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