How to give RAW the biggest ratings ever (Joke Thread) - Page 3 - Wrestling Forum : WWE, TNA, Indy Wrestling, Lucha Underground, Women of Wrestling Forums

LinkBack Thread Tools Search this Thread
post #21 of 113 (permalink) Old 10-06-2012, 01:39 AM
Wheelman for James Ellsworth
CMojicaAce's Avatar
Join Date: Jun 2011
Posts: 653
Points: 0
Re: How to give RAW the biggest ratings ever (Joke Thread)

Main Event: John Cena on commentary as he announces a huge main event. Out comes none other than PRESIDENT OBAMA! He talks about how he is tired of that jackass Mitt Romney talking nonsense about him. He calls Mitt out. They cut a promo for the ages until, George W Bush comes out! He talks about how Obama stole his spotlight and how he banged Obama's wife. Obama slaps Bush. Out comes Vince Mcmahon. He tells how he will run for president in 2016. They all laugh. He declares that they have a No Holds Barred Match right then and there. They all agree. As the match is about to start, Vince announces the special guest referee: Big Dick Johnson. The match begins. Eventually, everyone is bleeding heavily, and Obama nails the Canadian Destroyer on Mitt and pins him. Obama celebrates as he points up to an American flag. Confetti falls down as Guile's theme song plays. Then, out of nowhere, Mario Balotelli comes out and hits the Rough Ryder on him. He celebrates like how he did against Germany as the camera focuses on him. Raw goes off the air.

CMojicaAce is offline  
Sponsored Links
post #22 of 113 (permalink) Old 10-06-2012, 01:48 AM
Asking JAMES ELLSWORTH for Wrestling Advice
BrokenWater's Avatar
Join Date: Sep 2011
Posts: 411
Points: 3
Re: How to give RAW the biggest ratings ever (Joke Thread)

-Bring all the divas into ring. They all strip naked and have a lesbian orgy.
BrokenWater is offline  
post #23 of 113 (permalink) Old 10-06-2012, 01:55 AM
#BadNewsSanta's Avatar
Join Date: Sep 2004
Location: Somewhere
Posts: 16,213
Points: 5,177
Re: How to give RAW the biggest ratings ever (Joke Thread)

6-man EC on Raw promoted for two full months. Hogan vs. Austin vs. Rock vs. Undertaker vs. HHH vs. Cena. Promote it as the very last WWE match ever to determine the greatest of all time. Austin wins, Vince comes out and says "lol, just kidding about whole last match thing. Raw will be on next week, come watch!" Then all the other legends come out from the match, hit their finishers on Vince which ends in all of them celebrating with Beer... the end. Whole roster comes out and celebrates. Think Raw 15th anniversary. The end.

Edit: On second thought, do what the above post says for the first hour, then what I said for the last 2 hours.

I'm watching you...

#BadNewsSanta is offline  
post #24 of 113 (permalink) Old 10-06-2012, 02:17 AM
Playing Backstage Politics
KO Bossy's Avatar
Join Date: Oct 2011
Location: East of the Pacific Ocean, West of London, England, South of Mars, North of Hell
Posts: 11,793
Points: 10,675
Re: How to give RAW the biggest ratings ever (Joke Thread)

Get Vince McMahon to admit to every single huge mistake he's made in the past 30 years.

-Fucking up Invasion
-Nearly ruining Brock Lesnar
-Not pushing MVP
-Overpushing John Cena
-Hornswoggle as the anonymous GM
-Constantly humiliating Jim Ross
-AJ being GM of Raw
-Backing Linda's Senate Campaign twice, wasting tens of millions of dollars and purging the internet of Attitude Era videos
-Making Raw shitty PG (as opposed to the good PG of the 80s)
-The commercials every 5 minutes
-Way too much focus on Twitter, Tout and Social Media
-The atrocious booking
-Ruining Nexus by having Cena go over them constantly
-Not letting Dean Ambrose debut
-Not giving us Sting vs Undertaker
-The awful, awful writing
-Screwing Bret in Montreal
-Not using Awesome Kong while pushing Kelly Kelly and the Bellas instead
-Katie Vick
-Giving Hunter way too much sway
-Letting Stephanie lead creative
-Having Daniel Bryan lose in 18 seconds
-Using the military, breast cancer and Make a Wish to get John Cena over
-Exploiting Eddie's death for storylines
-Using Jake Roberts' real life alcoholism as a basis for a storyline

And everything else. Just have him apologize and beg our forgiveness.

"Without the Elite, wrestling is boring and it sucks."

The G1 Climax 26 Winner, Kenny "The Cleaner" Omega
KO Bossy is offline  
post #25 of 113 (permalink) Old 10-06-2012, 02:24 AM
Largest arms in the world, BROTHER!
TripleG's Avatar
Join Date: Dec 2004
Posts: 39,360
Points: 17,012
Re: How to give RAW the biggest ratings ever (Joke Thread)

H L A! H L A!


Follow Me on Twitter:

TripleG is offline  
post #26 of 113 (permalink) Old 10-06-2012, 02:33 AM
The Sundance Kid
CamillePunk's Avatar
Join Date: Feb 2011
Location: Fade Into You
Posts: 14,450
Points: 21,272
Re: How to give RAW the biggest ratings ever (Joke Thread)

John Cena vs Mark Henry feud obviously.

CamillePunk is offline  
post #27 of 113 (permalink) Old 10-06-2012, 02:51 AM
Regularly Beating Up James Ellsworth
Scottish-Suplex's Avatar
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: Plymouth
Posts: 3,720
Points: 28
Re: How to give RAW the biggest ratings ever (Joke Thread)

Guys, the best way is to stop this being a wrestling show. No one likes wrestling. The casuals and general public aren't interested. Talk about lame! They just like Cena.

So we turn RAW into a zany comedy where Cena makes funny voices and faces for 45 minutes, with Daniel Bryan occasionally popping in and attractive women also showing up and Cena's mouth falling open and eyes popping cartoon style. And there are also fire-works.

The ratings would saw so much we'd never have to worry about the show again. WWE (World Wacky Entertainings) would be saved and everyone would be happy because the ratings were good.

Polly fucking Anna...
Scottish-Suplex is offline  
post #28 of 113 (permalink) Old 10-06-2012, 04:29 AM
swagger_ROCKS's Avatar
Join Date: Jun 2010
Posts: 26,116
Points: 14,478
Re: How to give RAW the biggest ratings ever (Joke Thread)

Originally Posted by SummerLove View Post
Basically, create an episode of RAW where ratings are sure to skyrocket to like a 10.0.

The Rock returns and faces Punk for the title. Then, he wins the title and breaks CM Punks arm.
Then he straight up takes MITB from Ziggler like a boss and cashes it in on Sheamus and beats him in 17 seconds.
Then Austin comes back and finds Punk in the back and Stunners him 5 times.
then HHH music hits, but he doesn't come out.
Cena's music hits, he doesn't come out though.
Rock's music hits, doesn't come out.
Lesnar comes out!!!....but then he stops at the top of the ramp, smiles, and points to the ramp and then...GOLDBERGS MUSIC HITS.

Goldberg comes out, but he comes behind the ring instead of through the entrance and then spears Undertaker.
Then he picks up the mic and says "UNDERTAKER, YOU'RE NEXT!!!"...but not for me though.
Then he points to the ceiling and STINGS MUSIC HITS....and he beats up both Goldberg and Undertaker.
Then a 50 superstar battle royal happens to determine the RAW GM and mark henry returns and wins the entire thing.
This is friggin beautiful

Also, what Mr Cricket said.

KARLA LOPEZ, THE HOTTEST MODEL/ACTRESS ALIVE. Sheamus, Swagger, Wade, Dixie, Cesaro, Sami, DB, RKO, Drew, Del Rio, Cody, Punk, AJ LEE, Athena, Jasmin Areebi, Becky / (SIG CRED: Abrown/A$AP/Sol Katti) CHAMPviaDQ = Great GFX.
swagger_ROCKS is offline  
post #29 of 113 (permalink) Old 10-06-2012, 04:34 AM
Tag Teaming With James Ellsworth
5th-Horseman's Avatar
Join Date: Apr 2011
Location: Charge, charge, Chelsea charge
Posts: 1,790
Points: 0
Re: How to give RAW the biggest ratings ever (Joke Thread)

Let people on this board book it.

Steve the memories alone
5th-Horseman is offline  
post #30 of 113 (permalink) Old 10-06-2012, 04:51 AM
Asking JAMES ELLSWORTH for Wrestling Advice
TerraRayzing's Avatar
Join Date: Jun 2011
Posts: 352
Points: 146
Re: How to give RAW the biggest ratings ever (Joke Thread)

Vince comes out and announces that the IWC will be incharge of the WWE watch the rating boom.

Good to be back.

Reigns made me appreciate Cena. Screw Roman Reigns.
TerraRayzing is offline  

User Tag List

Thread Tools Search this Thread
Show Printable Version Show Printable Version
Email this Page Email this Page
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search

Posting Rules  
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are On

For the best viewing experience please update your browser to Google Chrome