Lacing SCOTT STEINER's boots
Join Date: Nov 2011
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Re: **The Official Raw Ratings Thread** (Discuss Ratings In Here)
It would make sense if Damien gained so many viewers. Let's think about this from a rational standpoint:
Now, let's break down the character in question first:
1) What's Damien Sandows character? An intellectual of the highest degree. His speeches have been reported to raise the average WWE fans IQ by 3 since his tenure. The average wrestling fans is said to still be below average but this is another topic for another day.
2) So, who is the target demographic that Damien Sandow is aiming towards to? Certainly not the unwashed masses and those who would rather watch shows with people getting drunk in clubs. He does, however appeal to the washed minority, the intellectuals who crave for transcendent minds.
How Ratings work:
3) Now everybody in this thread has heard about the infamous Nielsen Ratings system. A system where a sample of 25000 so called Nielson Boxes have been spread all over the US in various households to estimate the viewership for shows that are beeing shown by national channels.
So how does this all add up, how did Sandow draw in 11 millions of viewers all by himself?
4) As explained above, it's quite clear that it couldn't have been the unwashed masses who turned on for him, at least not willingly. Instead, it was all clearly a very well planned
terrorist attack Intellectuals Ratings rally on the Nielson Boxes owners TVs by a gang of Sandrones, who needs quantity when you can have well-organised quality. They found out the location of every single Nielson Box around, travelled to their respective places, with blue/pink tissues akin to his attires and Laptops in their bag so they could
a) Follow RAW so they would make sure they wouldn't miss the Intellectual Saviours segment(s) and
b) Watch some more Sandow promos during the flight
Now this is the interesting part. So the gang of Sandrones all arrived at their respective places where the Nielsen Boxes are. However, they are not entering the owners appartments/houses/dumps yet, they do not, and I mean, do not want to prematurely take actions and see their plans go to waste by acting brash, violent and hasty. Instead they follow their advice of their leader, and his idea of making sound decisions. They watch the show, surprisingly like the rest of the unwashed masses, or in this case IWC nerds via streams on their laptops. They have their Sandow styled tissues ready to be used any moment. But used for WHAT?
Sandow/Rhodes vs Team Geeks starts aka shit is going to get real aka Conclusion of the whole thing:
5) So the entrace of Rhodes Dollars starts. This very moment, the Sandrones enter the house of their targets, some by breaking down the doors, some by jumping through the windows right into the rooms with the TV where famed Nielson Boxes are setup too, and some Ninja style jumping down from the roof down the camin, if no other options are available for fast entry (solid doors, windows that a horde of bulls couldn't break through etc). Tissues are at hand, they approach the victims who're just passing their Moday Nights watching TV. They take their tissues and put them in the domestic owners face, so they would pass out and they could go on to work without disruptions and people asking wtf they're doing in their homes. They change the channel to USA and mark the hell out as Rhodes Dollars are beating Team Geeks, entering the finals of the tag team tournament. As the show ends, they put the remotes right onto their victims for safety precautions. They may be offenders, but they do not want to make their victims wake up to a divas match, in case they wake up early.
tl;dr version aka Cliffs:
-Bored Intellectuals want to feel enlightenment, form the Sandrones gang
-Sandrones decide they want to make Damien Sandow a bigger draw than Austin, Hogan and Rock combined
-Sandrones travel to every home with Nielsen Boxes, pink/blue tissue similar to Sandrones attire and Laptop are in their travelling bags
-Arrive at their destination where the domestics with the Nielsen Boxes are, but don't enter right away, watching RAW via Stream just outside of their target homes
-Rhodes Dollars have their match against Team Geeks, Sandrones turn of their laptops and infiltrate house and go straight to the room with the TV.
-Make their victims pass out with the Sandow styled tissued, change the channel to USA, watching WWE as Rhodes Dollars beats Santino/Ryder
-Sandrones are marking out
-Match ends, they put the remotes near the victims, so in case they wake up early they could promptly change the channel as the Divas are on next
-Sandow gets biggest ratings rise in WWE history for quarter hours (11 millions) so Sandrones and their idol win