Location: ROYAL RUMBLE AUCTION DRAFT THREAD (wrestling fantasy games section)
Feed the Heskey so he can score this Christmas
Exploited for our entertainment, goals and footballing financial gain, strikers endure terrible cruelty, abuse and neglect at the hands of their owners all around the world. Michael Owens brutally and needlessly retired in the name of hamstring injuries. Andy Carrolls cruelly farmed out to clubs way above their station for a ridiculous profit. Strikers caged and abused as tourist attractions like Ronaldo during his tenure as a slave at Manchester United. Wild Carlton Coles illegally and inhumanely released into captivity before being recaptured and kept in worse conditions.
Strikers are the victims. There owners are the problem. It is only people – people like you – that can provide the solution.
This wild Emile Heskey is hungry and homeless, without an owner to feed him chances, without an owner to give him a home. This abused Heskey's former owner neglected him while watching hours and hours of Simpsons' reruns back to back, making terrible smileys of Stephen Ireland and neg repping online wrestling forum users who thought that Aston Villa and England were boring. Heskey's former owner was more interested in stocking up on luxury items such as 8PM pyjamas and hot water bottles, instead of feeding Heskey chances and keeping his home safe and secure. All that Heskey wants is an owner who loves him. You could be that person...
FOR JUST $4.75 A MONTH YOU COULD KEEP EMILE HAPPY, FULL OF CHANCES AND SAFE FROM THE DANGERS OF THE STRIKER SCRAP HEAP.
Please set up a monthly direct debit gift to simple machines and become a striker Protector. With your gift, you will help protect strikers, such as Emile, around the world from cruelty and suffering. You could stop abuse, neglect, horrific cruelty and slaughter. You could save Emile's life.
Save a Heskey this Christmas. Feed the Heskey, let him know it's Christmas time...