Y'know? Dave? Caucasian fellow? Likes to walk around everywhere cosplaying as a Tetris brick and sings "The Safety Dance" to himself wherever he goes?
Like, he, he comes into my room, and he, like, he goes on all those unethical World Wide Websites when I'm in the bathroom. I swear, sometimes I can hear him listening to this before I come out:
I want a restraining order immediately from Mr. Dave. I think we should track his IP address, and I know the best way to start. He comes into this very section disguised as one of us, and bumps old threads to no end, all just so he can add to his stash of material, and try to make me look bad and act like a meanie It is to my understanding by eye-ing the mugs that he used to drink OUR Mountain Dew, that he is potentially in cahoots with TEAM TYRANNY.
Come on, Mom, Dad, Uncle GOON and Redead. We'll catch him in the act. We'll do it together. As a family.