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Old 03-17-2013, 07:16 PM   #1 (permalink)
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Default Bouncers

Hello everyone, i'm angry.

Last night, i went out clubbing with a top notch pal of mine. After absolutely destroying him on Fifa 8 times in a row, and after necking back countless amounts of beers, i was an extremely hyper man. After having to endure a taxi driver who smelt like an out of date pile of shit, i entered the nightclub. I was buzzin, i was keen to grind on any female out there, i didn't care if they were 5 stone or 150 stone, i was convinced Dartz was taking a girl home back to this 430 double bed. Well i was wrong.

Two bald, and seemingly bored bouncers decided that they would be a cunt, and decided to throw me out, FOR NO REASON. All i did was did the worm on the dance floor, albeit i took it abit to far when i chopped a small itallian man in the throat, but still. What made it worse, is the cunt got me in a choke hold, and threw me onto the pavement outside

Why do bouncers intentionally piss people off? These are the same bouncers who took another mate of mine into a room and beat him like a government mule because he was mosh pitting. I ended up going home at 1:30 am.

Now it may just be the bouncers in my area, but has anyone else ever been angered by bouncers? I can't stand them.

Last edited by Dartz : 03-17-2013 at 07:28 PM.
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Old 03-17-2013, 07:17 PM   #2 (permalink)
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Surely an out of date pile of shit will smell nicer than a fresh pile of shit.
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Old 03-17-2013, 07:19 PM   #3 (permalink)
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Default Re: Bouncers

Quote:
Originally Posted by Dartz View Post
Hello everyone, i'm angry.

Last night, i went out clubbing with a top notch pal of mine. After absolutely destroying him on Fifa 8 times in a row, and after necking back countless amounts of beers, i was an extremely hyper man. After having to endure a taxi driver who smelt like an out of date pile of shit, i entered the nightclub. I was buzzin, i was keen to grind on any female out there, i didn't care if they were 5 stone or 150 stone, i was convinced Dartz was taking a girl home back to this 430 double bed. Well i was wrong.

Two bald, and seemingly bored bouncers decided that they would be a cunt, and decided to throw me out, FOR NO REASON. All i did was did the worm on the dance floor, albeit i took it abit to far when i chopped an small itallian man in the throat, but still. What made it worse, is the cunt got me in a choke hold, and threw me onto the pavement outside

Why do bouncers intentionally piss people off? These are the same bouncers who took another mate of mine into a room and beat him like a government mule because he was mosh pitting. I ended up going home at 1:30 am.

Now it may just be the bouncers in my area, but has anyone else ever been angered by bouncers? I can't stand them.
I have no idea why I lol'd when I read that.
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Old 03-17-2013, 07:21 PM   #4 (permalink)
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Surely an out of date pile of shit will smell nicer than a fresh pile of shit.
You've obviously never fell asleep while doing a shit and woke up 13 hours later then...?
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Old 03-17-2013, 07:22 PM   #5 (permalink)
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Default Re: Bouncers

Yeah I've had more than my fair share of punch ups with bouncers, I was even at a club here in melbourne when a bouncer got his leg hacked off with a machete (he refused some asian dudes entry, turned out to be a very poor decision on his part.)
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Old 03-17-2013, 07:22 PM   #6 (permalink)
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A great game.
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Old 03-17-2013, 07:23 PM   #7 (permalink)
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Default Re: Bouncers

Quote:
Originally Posted by Dartz View Post
I've been going out with this girl for about a month now. I began to get suspicious when she constantly kept her socks on. Maybe she doesn't like her feet getting cold? I thought. I was wrong. She revealed her mind blowing secret to me 3 nights ago, when she slowely, removed her black, knitted sock from her size 5 right foot. My heart was racing as the sock slowely came off, only to be revealed that underneath, was a disgusting looking toeless foot.

Now i really like this girl, but no toes? I don't know if i could live with that. We were snuggled up under my 320 duvet from Matalan, watching Saw 5. Ironically, all i could see out of the corner of my left eye was that dam foot! What shall i do guys? I'm a big fan of foot worships aswell, but i refuse to worship a foot that looks like Susan Boyles face.

Advice please.
All your threads have a similar style. You should mix it up sometime.
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Old 03-17-2013, 07:23 PM   #8 (permalink)
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Bouncers are always going to be loathsome, meat headed, red faced sacks of monkey spunk because a loud, drunken shite will always do bad business for a pub. Plus, most bouncers are just guys who aren't good enough to be martial artists or boxers so they take it out on teh drunk0rz.
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Old 03-17-2013, 07:23 PM   #9 (permalink)
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Who does the worm anymore?


These days, it's all about twerking.
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Old 03-17-2013, 07:24 PM   #10 (permalink)
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Uneventful night for them, most likely.

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