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Old 01-14-2013, 02:52 AM   #1 (permalink)
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Default The worst experience of my life...

Today I bring you a tale of a horror. A tale of misery. A tale of a man and his lack of bacon.



It all started on a beautiful Sunday morning in December of 2012. Beautiful weather, Cricket's on and my music's blasting. I suddenly thought to myself.. "There's only one way this day can get any better. Bacon." It's simple, it's delicious, it's the greatest thing ever created.. and I don't have any! I get a little pissed off at myself, but realise there's a shop two streets away and it's lunch in the Cricket anyway. I race out of the house only to find out that the shop is out of bacon. Supa IGA my ass.



I race to the next nearest shop and buy some bacon. It's $20! I'm standing there like...



And the clerk repeats, "$20", so I angrily give her the money and leave the store even more annoyed. I start feeling happy again knowing that I'm returning home to the cricket, music and bacon. I step in that front door extremely excited.



I'd only moved into this house a few weeks ago, so I hadn't used the stove. I just chuck that bacon in a pan and put it on that stove anyway. I was too excited about eating some incredible, crispy bacon to pay attention to detail. I lie down on my couch, as relaxed as you could ever be and realise the Australians aren't playing so well now, so I'm just like.



Ten minutes later, I check on the bacon. Anger starts building inside of me when I realise it's still cold! I check the manual for the oven and stove. It says turning on the oven may provide some extra heat depending how high it's turned up. What a unique, stupid design I though, turning that oven up as fast as I could. Then I hear a goddamn knock on the door.



I listen to their crap for 5 minutes, thinking it'll do no harm, but when I get back upstairs.. THE BACON'S FUCKING BURNT. I go to try to make it again, but I'm out of oil!



What a way to ruin a perfect day. Thank you and good motherfucking night.
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Old 01-14-2013, 02:56 AM   #2 (permalink)
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Default Re: The worst experience of my life...

Breakfast rant.
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Wot the fok did ye just say 2 me m8? i dropped out of newcastle primary skool im the sickest bloke ull ever meet & ive nicked ova 300 chocolate globbernaughts frum tha corner shop. im trained in street fitin' & im the strongest foker in tha entire newcastle gym. yer nothin to me but a cheeky lil bellend w/ a fit mum & fakebling. im callin me homeboys rite now preparin for a proper scrap. if ye had seen this bloody fokin mess commin ye might a' kept ya gabber from runnin. but it seems yea stupid lil diggle, innit? ima shite fury & ull drown in it m8. ur ina proper mess knob.
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Old 01-14-2013, 03:15 AM   #3 (permalink)
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Default Re: The worst experience of my life...

god awful rant.
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Old 01-14-2013, 03:20 AM   #4 (permalink)
Nobody's gay for Moleman.
 
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Default Re: The worst experience of my life...

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Originally Posted by Punk's #1 Fan View Post
god awful rant.
Still better than this.. http://www.wrestlingforum.com/rants/...odles-raw.html
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Old 01-14-2013, 03:25 AM   #5 (permalink)
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Default Re: The worst experience of my life...

This thread is now about powerful beards.

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Old 01-14-2013, 03:36 AM   #6 (permalink)
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Default Re: The worst experience of my life...

Your 2013 Royal Rumble winner has quite the beard, A$AP.

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Old 01-14-2013, 03:41 AM   #7 (permalink)
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Originally Posted by A$AP View Post
This thread is now about powerful beards.


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Old 01-14-2013, 03:50 AM   #8 (permalink)
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Default Re: The worst experience of my life...

Nice contributions, gentlemen.







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Old 01-14-2013, 04:02 AM   #9 (permalink)
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Default Re: The worst experience of my life...

The Harden beard is where it's at. He's got a squirrel up in thurr.
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Old 01-14-2013, 04:28 AM   #10 (permalink)
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