i do it for the ratchets
Join Date: Oct 2010
Location: 308 Negra Arroyo Lane
Kids that can't back their shit up [A hockey rant]
First off let me tell you that I wasn't positive whether I should put this up in sports or rants but being that it is mainly me ranting I figured rants was the way to go, please move if I made the wrong decision I guess?
But basically to start things off there are some things you should know. I'm a 16 year old kid who plays hockey, I played it for a while but stopped for 2 seasons from middle school to high school. I'm a sophomore and play on the Junior Varsity team, my fist year back since the 09/10 season when I was in 7th Grade. I could have played Varsity probably but I missed tryouts for it since I signed up late, I'm not quite as good as I used to be but still working on it, and I like the JV kids more anyway less douchebags. Another thing (maybe embarrassing, maybe not) there are girls on our team since where I live there aren't many hockey players so they kind of combined teams and stuff. So there's about 6-7 girls on the team (one is a goalie) and like 12 guys, some hurt so it was really less than that.
We had a game tonight at 8:20 PM, we're supposed to be there one hour early for warmups and to get ready. The girls decided to all come early and do the warmups before the game without us, so we did it on time after they did, all ready to play. We go to the locker room and bullshit around for a while, and we get basically completely dressed in our gear, I had everything on except for my jersey. The coach comes in and sees that all of us are not dressed except for one player who doesn't talk or bullshit, so he of course just got dressed without distraction. Our coach says "Since Trevor (The non-talkative kid that got dressed) got dressed and none of you guys did, and all the girls are dressed (remember, they did stretches early and change in different locker room), Trevor and the girls will be playing the first period everyone else will be sitting. He then proceeds to leave the room. We're like okay there's no fucking way he's going to have like 7 people playing one period that's like one line they would really tired and couldn't change shifts and whatnot so we brush it off. The girls come in as we are all dressed now, and the coach comes in and says he wasn't kidding around. He says that he is following through and benching us all. Some of the team got really pissed off, some (such as me) just didn't really give a fuck and laughed it off.
The team we are playing, South Park, is 0-5, needless to say they are awful. We go out on the ice for warmups whatever and go to the bench and sit as the girls and Trevor try to keep us in the game. We have our main goalie, Jake, who is a boss and hardly ever lets in any goals, I think he's let in like 4 in our last 5 games or whatever. The girl goalie isn't so good. She lets in 3 goals in the first period, and the girls are pretty obviously tired as fuck. Me and all the other guys were like we fucking got this we'll go out and beat 'em, score some goals and win. This is where the story gets more interesting.
We go out and I get a 1 on 0, just me versus one defender going into the zone, he makes a decent play bringing me to the outside and taps me on the shoulder with his, nudging me. I catch an edge on my skate and fly down hard, making it seem as if he did it. I get up and the puck is now going the other way so he skates back but decides to turn around and yell "BITCH" and laughs at me. I'm like alright here we fucking go, I get the kids number which was 98 I will definitely remember this for a while. We skate down the ice and he passes it to his friend who skates down the boards similar to how I did, so I take a good 4-5 steps and fuck this kid up, drill him into the boards and he stays down for a bit. I'm not sure how I didn't get a charging penalty but I'da been fine with it regardless. I get called off for a change so I go to the bench and I start telling my teammates especially the goon-like ones what #98 called me a bitch and stuff, saying how I'm gonna fuck this kid up. They tell me that's funny and that I should fuck him up. Keep in mind, this #98 kid is a twig. He's like 5'4 maybe 130 pounds.
We play the next period and a half or so and these kids on the other team are all calling us pussys and bitches when we get hit, when we fall, when we lose the puck, anything they can. The littlest tiniest girl on our team gets a "2 and a 10" penalty for hitting someone in the back which I didn't even think was possible considering this girl can't even be 5'4 or over 100 pounds. One of my teammates named Mitchell, who just happens to be dating that girl and is a big 300 pound kid that's a mixture of fat/muscle and wrestles, weight trains a ton and everything, decides he's had enough of this shit and all how these kids are getting blatant penalties that aren't being called and etc. so he decides to take matters into his own hands.
Mitchell comes out and during the play skates down the ice going full speed towards the #98 kid whos also going full speed without the puck. Mitchell sticks his arm out and punches the kid in the face, the kid basically does a backflip and falls down and starts like twitching and shit which was obviously faked. Everyone on the bench was like woahhhh, kinda panicked and saddened and I'm in the back fist pumping going "Karma's a bitch you little ......". The kid gets up and the ref gives Mitchell a game misconduct and he's going to the box, and he actually yells "Who's the bitch now you fucking bitch, this is bullshit, he's a faking pussy!" The ref gives him another game and throws him out, now he's suspended two games. My coach says he's also giving him another game suspension for breaking team rules, etc. I nearly died laughing when this ...... got destroyed it changed my mood completely. I started like loving Mitchell of course because he fulfilled my game long destiny and I didn't have to worry about the twig ...... anymore.
The rest of the game these kids were stalling since they were up 3-0 for the first time in probably their lives I'm guessing since they were so awful and could only score on a bunch of worn out girls and a goalie with about 2 games of experience. They would send out 4 players when they were supposed to have 5, or 3 when they needed 4 just so that the curfew clock would run out since there was a game after us. They'd talk to people in the stands before face offs and anything to prevent us from even getting a chance to score which made our team and mainly our coach oblivious.
It's the final 2 minutes of the game on the curfew clock as the game would be over at 9:30 no matter what, and I hadn't been out in a while because the lines got mixed up from penalties and stuff. My coach says I'm playing last shift and that if I touch a single person I'm done for at least 3 games and I agree, because I want to play lets face it. He tries to get this one bitch off the ice but she ignores us all yelling at her to get a line change. She was like 4 feet away from the bench and my assistant coach working the bench goes "Lauren get off! CHANGE" everything and she skates to the other side of the fucking ice so she can finish the game. My coach then goes "Alright or don't I mean I'm not in fucking charge or a coach or anything I guess". Play eventually stopped and I get put in, and I don't even think she got in trouble for it which really pissed me off.
I go out for this last shift and I get the puck and two kids come at me, and I manage to knock them both over cleanly which didn't anger my coach making me feel good. I then get wide open and the puck gets sent over to me right in front and the horn blows, game over abruptly, it was 9:30. I throw my hands in the air and get extremely fucking pissed.
We go group up to get in line for the handshake and the same assistant coach says to us if we say anything in the line besides good game then we're out for a while too. We go through the line and I say good game to everyone, but that #98 kid goes through and goes "YOU'RE A PUSSY, YOU TWO, SAME, PUSSY, BITCH" and keeps going. I hear all this in front of me so I lower my hand and don't shake his and he calls me a bitch again, I just fucking laugh it off. I literally stand there realizing that the same kid that got punched in the face and started twitching asking for a damn stretcher and all this shit is calling US all pussies.
We get off the ice and we go towards the locker rooms which are right next to each other, and we all just stream into ours like always and they wait outside theirs just staring at us. One of my teammates blows them a kiss and they start to like try and be tough by acting like they're gonna come over. I just yell "What the fuck are you pussies gonna do?" and just kept walking. Our coach decides to blow up on us how it's our fault we lost and we should've won etc, he's disappointed and whatnot. We're all thinking it's your fucking fault we lost because of that first period that's what started everything. It would've been 0-0 if the fucking girls didn't get to play while all of us sat around talking about stupid shit the first 15 minutes of the game.
Basically the point of the story is I hate kids that fucking act tough as fuck calling you a bitch and whatnot, but then they get punched and then apparently start going into a seizure, twitching, crying, faking broken limbs and shit. And to make matters worse decides to call us pussies after that. Ladies and gentlemen don't be that fucking person, either talk shit and back yourself up or don't talk shit.
I'm just realizing the story doesn't seem that interesting and you kind of had to be there, plus most of you probably don't like hockey and don't know what half that stuff meant so I'm sorry for wasting 15 minutes of your life.
Oh, and we play South Park again this season. I'm remembering #98 and I will remember him for years because next time we play them it'll be me fucking this kid up no matter how many games I get suspended.
Last edited by IJ : 12-09-2012 at 12:48 AM.