When I'm a parent I'll call my kids by their online handles and make fun of them
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Dunfermline, Scotland
Dear neighbours currently setting off fireworks (2013 EDITION)
EDIT: Would like to dedicate this year-old rant to the cunts at the Guy Fawkes event in my local park this evening who tried to set off their own fireworks IN THE MIDDLE OF THE FUCKING CROWD.
This was a few minutes after the actual fireworks were scheduled, and were about 15mins late.
Worst test of impatience I've ever come across. Fuck's sake.
Spoiler for Original rant:
You've got TWO FUCKING DAYS to wait. IT'S A DESIRE YOU CAN CONTAIN.
Stop ejaculating your pretty colours and patterns all over the sky and waking up my infant foster sister from her slumbers. Keep it in your garage, and when the day finally comes, your fetish for explosions will be all the more fulfilling. Everybody wins.