infantile, mad-hurt , tilt-a-whirled , easily bamboozled dragon dyke spinster
I actually quite liked this a bit. We're making progress.
my father didn't also shoved his 11 inch slong
Oh dear. That didn't last long. Certainly not as long as the parental torture you obviously endured while growing up in the cupboard where your mom kept her sex toys.
I know you managed to get to sleep sometimes, but then you'd turn and a stray elbow or knee would accidentally flick one of those scary switches and BRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!
In your panic you'd end up flicking a few more switches until the whole fucking universe as far as you knew consisted entirely of buzzing, whirring gigantic plastic penises.
One or two of them found their way up "there", didn't they? Hence the sodomy obsession.
But it's okay, Norse black metal lover. There's always bleach.