Tremble and despair mortals... Doom has come back to the Rants!!!
Ice_Edge is back. It was fun making fun off him during last week but now it's so sad since he will come back and cry and bitch and moan how he was mistreated. That's what you haters are probably thinking right now. Well you probably prepared you're "funny lines" and all your "rip ins" and how good it will feel to finally nail one in the coffin. You will show the bastard won't you!?
"This time around mommy I will finally...finally will nail it. I will mommy "
"Yes sweaty this time around that zipper will go all the way up".
It will make you feel good for a half second and make you forget for the quarter of that half how much you failed to deliver anything original, decent, entertaining or anything of any real rant value during his first run. It will make you feel (first time in your life) like a fucking man with balls the size of rocks won't it!? Like a man with grapefruits size of McMahon's right!?
If that's you I have some bad news for you buddy. Ain't gonna happen. I will explain to you why in a minute fucker.
We can start where the whole thing went wrong. All the guys who where on his side and didn't want him banned where simply wrong. Ice_Edge did step over the line and needed to get his ass kicked right back behind that line where he belongs. He knew what he was doing and knew perfectly well that there will be consequences. He simply deserved to be suspended for a week. He just shouldn't have played around with that "line"/line. The right choice was made and the staff did the right thing. Ice_Edge has the balls to admit that.
It's ok, it's alright because he knows that the staff is always looking for the best of the people. And this is by no means written in sarcastic undertones (I promise you that folks) but in feelings written in blood. Ice_Edge simply feels that the staff never really get's any credit for anything they do. All day and all night these guys work for WF tirelessly. Making new threads, editing, adding new content, giving infraction points and banning people. Simply looking out what's best for community.
Not only am I gonna say they did the right thing by giving me 1 week vacation I should also add that every single member who has been suspended before (or even permanently banned for that matter) would somehow find the way to reach to them and say: " Thank you. I know you do it not because you are mean or unfair but for the sake of all WF's community". Just listen. They never get any thanks for anything they do and in the end they only do it for you. Even if sometimes they do it out of tough love and naughty boys and and girls need to be punished for their mischief you never hear anyone thanking them. Well today we will change that. Today with no sarcastic undertones and from deepest depths of my warmest heart I say to staff members(Headliner, JM, Platt, Seabs, Amber B, BkB Hulk and LadyCroft) I THANK YOU.
Well some of you might be thinking to yourselves. "Well ice edge won't be as cool and edgy as he used to be since Rants are holding him back." All I have to say look at this, this way kiddos. Let me tell you a story about what happened during the meeting between Lady Rants and Sir Ice Edge:
In the land here, here and here......
Rants (our lady of this story) is this fair princess who walks in a beautiful garden on one really bright April morning. The Princess Rants is more beautiful than the moon at night and more devastating pretty than the breaking dawn. She is so poetic, so beautiful, so ecstatic, so energetic, so full of life and beauty of it all that she sings like worlds most beautiful bird with words like cock, pussy, ass, virgin, cunt and ragnarocks...
And here comes Ice Edge our charming hero prince of this fine tale of significance. He looks at the relentless beauty, that blazing witty cold and pretty star of our north. He looks at the beautiful star of the north and thinks if he should take that *censored* beauty's *censored*. He looks to the north and slowly remembers something...and then returns to his ideal thoughts. Then our Prince Charming suddenly picks up a mirror cold and...
...He looks at himself and thinks ..." damn I'm so good and pretty and I'm million times more witty than her. Look at this innocent princess singing about cocks, virgins and ragnarocks. No way she is ready for my awesomeness and "cowkiness" just yet. I don't want to taint her beauty's *censored* just yet. She doesn't deserve sucha charming prince like me since I even doubt she has hit that *censored*. *[sorry the censored words are far to to awesome for anyone to hear but Sir Ice. If you have any further questions please contact our own "Here, Here and Here" support service]
So kids what have we learned from this awesome tale today? Oh yes that just like we all know Rock is bigger than WWE, Ice_Edge is bigger than Lady Rants(not to be confused bigger than the staff since he's not). He's just on whole different level and she can't handle it. It just wouldn't be fair to outclass Lady Rants with all those awesome compliments it provides him each and every single day. Ice_Edge has risen so far above Lady Rants that she would never ever be able to handle that awesome enigma that is Ice _Edge.
What did you say hater? You want to throw hate rocks at the ice cold enigma that is Ice Edge!? Are you really just stupid or just completely and utterly retarded!? Well if you are do remember what happened last time don't you? You threw those rocks but half they there they suddenly asked themselves:
"Why are we flying towards Ice_Edge again? Last time I checked he made better posts and rants than any of our masters ever did in their entire life times. He will just take this as compliments and we can't take that". So the hate rocks stopped turned around, flew and hit haters ugly mugs and told them:
"This is for you bitches, this is for you giving ice edge compliments!!!"
Face it losers you lost. I have already ranted on everything you had wet dreams about and never really had real balls to rant about. This is what risen above means. I'm now and forever will just be better than you so go on ahead enjoy your little jokes since we all know they aren't even worthy more than dirtiest dirt stain on my boots.
I'm Father Cosmos of Rants and no other member ever in history of Rants will ever top me at anything I done here. Also you know those are facts since I'm fucking life itself. Meaning:
ice=water=life on earth/any other livable planet.
Give respect to the pretty ice cold and witty enigma of nice which is luckier than number 7th of that lucky dice.... life itself Ice.
Ice_Edge, solve the Tupac conspiracy! Was it really a hologram or did he fake his death?
As long as there's a Triforce, there will be a Zelda;
as long as there's a prosperous kingdom, there will be an evil bent on destroying it;
and as long as there's an oppressive force threatening Hyrule, there will be a boy...
in a green tunic, silver shield, and magic blade to stand against it.